Since this is a guy post, gotta post a sexy pic of my fave female vamp, Ashley Greene.
I realized there is a serious problem in the world today. I get that most guys don’t get Twilight. They don’t understand it, and frankly, most don’t care.
However, a situation arose today with one of my hubby’s co-workers where knowledge of Twilight could have potentially gotten him some (or at least a phone number that may have led to some).
The scene: said guy (let’s call him ‘Joe”) was getting a hair cut. The stylist and her sister, who was apparently visiting the salon, were talking Twilight.
Girls: chatting about Twilight, oblivious to guy in chair getting hair cut
Joe: So, obviously you all are Team Edward, right?
Girl 1: stunned, in awe of potential unicorn in front of them Of course, how did you… trails off
Joe: Well, the only other option is Team (mind goes blank, what is other guy’s name)… Bill?
Girls: laugh, chances have been ruined
Now, had ‘Joe’ paid just a little bit more attention, this may have went well in his favor. My hubby let him know it was Team Jacob, since apparently the girls didn’t even bother to tell him.
So, I feel now that it is my duty to bestow tidbits of Twilight knowledge on to guys in order to help them pick up women, impress significant others, etc. And by twi-knowledge, I mean quick blurbs that give the appearance that you know what you are talking about, when really you still have no idea (and probably STILL don’t care).
Lesson 1:
Scenario: Your signifigant other or POTENTIAL signifigant other is reading/discussing Twilight. When there is a break, casually state:
“You know, I really enjoyed the movie, but I wish it could have been a bit more true to the book. How great would the blood typing scene have been on screen?”
Signifigant other is shocked… stares at you for follow up.
“The irony of it all, with the smell causing Bella to be nauseous, was just so great. I think it would have been nice to see on film.”
No more diaogue from this point. Not necessary, cause I’m pretty sure you may get pounced (I know I’d have done that to my hubby). Do understand, after whatever comes next (ifyouknowwhati’msayingandithinkyoudo), she may want to talk about Twilight to you. Please, I beg of you, just fain interest for the time being. Soon, I’ll have a new lesson for you and then you can have follow up discussion.
Lesson over!
