You know, New Moon was my favorite!
Okay, seriously, TheShagDaddy is about this close to having to get his own blog. While I wanted to post some hot Robbie-ness, he wanted to get all serious for a moment about New Moon and insisted it be tonight. Well, I’m still going to post at least one hot picture of Rob, and then you can jump into some more guy thoughts on Twilight.
No more waiting. The suspense is over. I’m going to continue my thoughts on the Twilight saga. Any moment now. Here we go. Seriously, this is going to be good. Don’t stop believin’…fade to black.
I know this is supposed to be about New Moon, but first let me just say, ‘What in the monkey fuck shit balls is Stephanie Meyer trying to do, kill me?’ I’m only 5 chapters into Breaking Dawn and I now understand the sexual frustration so many of you have mentioned. If you don’t know what I mean I will elaborate in one of the next couple of blogs that I do. But back to the business at hand…
More after the jump…
The Jerkoff just left Bella in the worst way possible and I had given up on everything that I knew to be good in my life. The months crawl by and I don’t know if I will ever forgive Edward, I,er, mean if Bella will forgive Edward. And now being stupid and reckless brings hallucinations of Edward to Bella’s mind. Blah, blah, blah, Jacob and Bella reconnect over the motorcycles Bella wants to ride just to get an Edward high. This is moment I realize Jacob is awesome, so sweet to Bella, fixing her bikes for free, hiding it from Charlie and Billy, how could this possibly go wrong? I hated seeing Jacob losing friends for reason unknown at the time but it made it easier to accept Bella falling for him. Neither of them had anyone they could rely on anymore except each other, strong emotional connection, it was what Bella needed more than anything. What she got was a douche-a-lopicus that just wanted to lust after her instead of being the man Edward wasn’t willing to be. Yeah, fine Jacob and his pack saved Bella from Laurent but who can say it was for Bella’s sake versus the dogs hatred for Vampires? The pack would have killed Laurent whether Bella was there or not, so no points for Jacob. Let’s not forget that it was on the way to ride the motorcycles without helmets for the first time that Jacob told Bella about cliff-diving, great idea numb-nuts, she can barely walk without falling but let’s promise to jump off cliffs. So to recap, Edward saves Bella from doing stupid shit whilst Jacob might as well La Push her in front of a Mack truck. Team Jacob was quickly going to the way side.
The worst part for me was when Bella did finally decide to cliff-dive without Jacob, there she is swirling in a freezing ocean hearing the pleads of Edward to fight, to live, to save herself and she gives up. When I realized that she was accepting death I started to tear up, the problem with that is I was reading at work and I seriously had to stop just so the guys wouldn’t see me cry. I composed myself, finished the last couple of pages in the chapter and stopped reading. All of that happened during lunch, so I spent the rest of the work day thinking about what was going on and kept getting teary eyed and lumps in my throat. I just could not accept or handle the fact Bella was willing to die…having lost a cousin myself to suicide I just couldn’t believe she would think that this was happiness to her. Made no sense to me.
Now we have Jacob being the hero by saving her life, what a sweet relief it was for me. I didn’t care who saved Bella I just knew I needed her to live. But almost as instantly as he was a hero, he turned into a villian. When he answered the phone in the kitchen after Alice had shown up and refused to let Bella talk to Carlisle it showed he only cared about what he wanted. And when what he said on the phone gave Alice the vision that Edward was going to the Volturi to kill himself, well I once again calmly shut the book and announced that I was Team Not Going To Finish The Book.
I know this was not as comical as the last blog, but New Moon was tough to read. I will continue my thoughts of New Moon next time along with some of Eclipse. Apparently, I can’t blog too often as I am stealing Amber’s thunder. Just kidding but blogging is really hard.
Blogging is hard, huh. You sure seem to like doing it alot, don’t you? Don’t you?!? Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and we will return to some regularly scheduled, super delicious Rob programming tomorrow.
June 29th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Can’t wait to see what you have to say about the rest and the sexual tension… it’s been fun reading your posts
June 29th, 2009 at 2:02 am
Hmmnn I never thought that a man can feel such deep emotions as you did DH [hope you don't mind me calling you that, saves finite resources
], at this early I can foresee you being on TEAM BELLA.
And that’s the difference in a man’s & woman’s view, I really can’t appreciate the Bella character (sorry Bella fans). She’s an epitome of the 19th century woman – weak, clingy and so emo. I don’t know if its just me but hello – cliff diving in a storm for a lostlove is really not cool…the woman has suicidal tendencies and seriously needs help.
Pls don’t stop reading the saga, I’m learning a lot from your views. Thanks.
PS: Amber you’re really lucky girl
June 29th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Another blog. Hahaha. Anyways, I see where you are coming from with the whole “Jacob is selfish” thing. But, so is Edward. That’s the whole thing in Twilight. He knew what he should do, but he did what HE wanted anyways. Jacob wants Bella. Can you blame him for being that way to the Vamps? First off, pure hatred (genetically as well). Secondly, Jacob’s had a crush on Bella since they were kids and then the vamps show up and basically take her. Now that her lover-boy is gone… now’s HIS chance. His ONLY chance. Can’t blame a kid for fighting.
So, I CRIED in the beginning… the whole time after the party till when Sam gets Bella in the forest. Then I was like WTF when she was drowning. Then the whole Italy/Volturi thing had be gone again. Emotional book indeed. LOVED the blank pages with the months only on them… very strong message.
And the cliff diving thing… I know. That’s what I thought at first with the motorcycles and danger. But that’s what Jacob is… he’s a pleaser when it comes to Bella. He’ll do anything for her if it makes her happy. It’s about the strong contrast. Edward is too protective and too controlling. Jacob is too relaxed and too accommodating. And they both love Bella to an extreme.
I LOVE Edward, but Jacob just makes me laugh. Gotta love him and feel sorry for him at times. Loyal as hell tho (except when he tell Charlie about the bikes).
LOVES IT!!!
June 29th, 2009 at 7:05 am
The months crawl by and I don’t know if I will ever forgive Edward, I,er, mean if Bella will forgive Edward. – lmao!!
Your hubby deserves mucho points for this *wink!!
June 29th, 2009 at 7:28 am
ah you are to cute shagdaddy and this blog was funny!
“Jacob might as well La Push her in front of a Mack truck” cracked me up! Yeah i think you are definately showing signs of team bella syndrome – WELL AND TRULY! New Moon is my fave book as it is so much darker than the others – much less cheese! Whilst i am a devoted Edward fan it does give the narrative more time to develop a more dimensional side to Bella and Jacob’s character and i think really strengthens their roles. OK yes it makes Edward look like a prick but….”i don’t care”! Glad you now get the sexual frustration too, I asked you about that after your last blog. Amber thanks for letting SD share your blog, is really good to hear a guys perspective seeing as i know there is no way my hubby will read them :}
June 29th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I only really truly understood the sexual frustration after reading the first Bella portion of Breaking Dawn.
June 29th, 2009 at 8:25 am
[...] This post was Twitted by AmberRMW [...]
June 29th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Okay, so I think I need a bit of Mr. Amber venom to inject into my DH.
Amber, will you please package that up & bring it to TwiCon with you next month? I’ll pour it into my DHs morning coffee & voila, by the time I return home from day 3 of TwiCon I will have my very own unicorn!
Amber you could make millions selling Mr. Amber venom!!!
June 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Is that like V on True Blood? If so, then I will def sell that shiz! I can make some good money!
June 29th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Do unicorns even have venom??? I don’t know, but I’m willing to give it a shot.
I haven’t seen True Blood, don’t have HBO, and just started reading the series, so haven’t gotten to V yet. But if it works, and you’ll make some money in the process, I’m willing to be your guinea pig. I won’t even ask for a cut. I’m cool like that.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Of course unicorns have venom. What do you think spooges out of their horns? Because of that, unicorns are secretly killer mythical beasts.
June 29th, 2009 at 10:57 am
I have been trying to get my hubs to even read one of the books and here you’ve got ShagDaddy to not only read the books but POST about them! I don’t know what you are doing, but don’t stop!
Now, to ShagDaddy–
You have totally given me new insights to parts of the book that I never thought before. Like how Jacob is ultimately selfish in his actions and kinda doesn’t “help” Bella by feeding into her dangerous notions. So much to think about! So thanks!
PS– “Team Not Going To Finish The Book” I totally snort laughed out loud when I read that!
June 29th, 2009 at 11:49 am
omg! if that didn’t get him laid i don’t know what would! that was………well it was amazing! for him to just get it like it was ment to be……..is………i can’t even speek! but i was with him all the way when he said he wasn’t going to finish the book! i was mad sad and angry all at the same time! i can’t wait to read him next blog!
June 29th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I always enjoy this blog, but felt urged to leave a comment for once (I’m shy, and quite frankly doubt that what I have to say is interesting to anyone else. What can I say?). On the contrary, I found much of this amusing. But also so sad, and so dead on with all of the feelings I experienced while reading the book (though, you are kinder to Jacob than I. He may really love her, but there are better ways everything could have been handled. Bella doesn’t do everything right, but she did warn him she could never love him like she loves Edward. He could have accepted they weren’t meant to be.). I think what you described is right on with what (I assume) most of the readers went through during New Moon. I ended up reading NM in one day (thankfully being sick in bed!) because, “it had to get happy again at some point, right?” Anyway, I just really enjoy your thoughts and views and wanted to comment. It’s interesting to get a male perspective on the book (my husband is not so forthcoming, though he’s finished the series). And by the way, I totally laughed out loud at “Team Not Going To Finish The Book.” Um, yeah – can we talk about Chapter 23 in Eclipse?
June 29th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Yeah! I’m glad TheShagDaddy could bring you out of hiding! He is kind of amazing, I mean not as amazing as me, but close.
June 29th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Well it sounds like y’all are a pretty good pair! Maybe I’ll start trying to post more, lol.
Thanks for all the entertainment.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I have yet to release my full anger towards Jacob. Someone just needs to neuter that boy.
July 1st, 2009 at 3:15 pm
OMG………………your my hero!!! that line is simply amazing……jacob sooo needs to be neutered roflmao
June 29th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I wish my DH would read something other than the stupid newspaper *sigh*
June 29th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
AGREED!!! The newspaper, and newspaper online, is all my hubs reads.
Once I accidentally left my iphone out with one of the Twi audio books still playing. Hubs heard a noise & went to check it out. Apparently she was describing one of her reactions to his beauty and his touch…something like “my heart began to race when his cold marble hand lightly grazed my cheek” or some shizz like that. It scared him so bad he shuddered, squealed and threw the ear buds on the floor.
I am quite aware that after that experience he will NEVER pick up one of the Twi books, ever. It ain’t gonna happen!
June 29th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Isn’t it so fun when the men get involved with our Twilight stuff? Jeremy misses doing stuff on our blog because of his “real” job lol.
Great insight, and I can’t wait to read more.
June 29th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Oh, TheShagDaddy, how can you say you weren’t as funny as the last time! I laughed more, i have to say it. Specially with the “I don’t know if I will ever forgive Edward, I,er, mean if Bella will forgive Edward” and the “Team Not Going To Finish The Book” LMAO Please, continue blogging.
About that, do you SEE now what I was telling you about the other day, when I said that in book 4, there was a moment where I threw the book too?? Yes, it was THAT part. Do you understand now?? What a cruel, cold woman! I’m convinced that Stephenie Meyer does not have a heart, and she proved it right there. If I had hints of it in NM when Edward leaves, but THIS?? Oh no, just wait till I meet her…
And Amber, you’re not only beautiful and smart and nice, you also have a very funny hubby with a mancrush on Edward. What more can one ask? lol
Hugs!
June 29th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Good Grief, why is it sooo adorable, that your hubby blogs? it’s too much. The next guy that I date has some pretty big shoes to fill.
June 29th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
you two are quite the team!!
July 1st, 2009 at 3:12 pm
what the hell…….i’m just in awe that your reading them. my husband would consider it creul and unusual punishment if i asked him to read them. lord it was all i could do to keep him from bolting from the theatre during the first scene of the movie and i was greeted with an announcement that and i quote….” you are seeing the rest of those without me” as we walked out of the theatre.
and i’m so glad to hear someone else agree with my thoughts that jacob is an idiot for suggesting that they cliff dive knowing that she can’t walk straight on a flat surface barefoot without tripping over her pinky toe
May 7th, 2010 at 12:17 am
[...] guys ever and sharing his views on Twilight! Since then he’s treated us to his opinions on Team Jacob vs. Team Edward, Robsten and even his life while I ran away to Twicon. I wish he’d blog more. ::sigh:: You [...]