An actual book review from #411

I don’t know about you guys, but I read a lot during the holidays. All these days off work, gotta have something to do. Doesn’t hurt that my brother has taken to giving me a bag ’o books for Christmasevery year, either. So heading into the holidays, I thought I would put down some actual books I have read lately which I loved. My favorite book this year was World War Z, and if you take it seriously, you will be all set for the zombie apocalypse. I’d also recommend A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz, a fantastic book from an Australian author. David Sedaris’s When You Are Engulfed in Flames is pure WIN, and I super-enjoyed Michael Ian Black’s My Custom Van. Around this time of year I usually revisit Melville’s Bartleby the Scrivener and Joyce’s The Dead. I only just finished Spenser’s The Faerie Queene, which is a doorstop of a book and nearly unbearable. Don’t read that one. I un-recommend it. But if you want to know what I’m reading right now, and what I will be reading throughout the end of the year, you have to look under my bed. No, it’s not porn. I keep these books under the bed to read before I go to sleep or easily grab first thing in the morning if I want to carry one with me that day. I’m talking about Georgette Heyer. She wrote during the early-to-mid part of the twentieth century and is most famous for her Regency romances. Oh stop laughing at me—Heyer is more Austen than Quinn. Her historical detail is flawless, her dialogue sparkling, and her heroines sharp, witty, and funny. I like these books around the holidays because they’re generally easy, quick reads with happy endings and guaranteed laugh-out-loud moments. I have a “bummer-free holiday” rule, and Heyer has always been my go-to reading source this time of year. I’d recommend you start with Arabella (think Pride & Prejudice), and then move on to either Venetia or Frederica. My personal favorites also include The Nonesuch and These Old Shades. If you’re looking for light and fun reading that isn’t completely brain-dead, give Heyer a shot. You won’t regret it. On to the fanfic.

“Tropic of Virgo” by In.a.blue.bathrobe

Seriously, why did it take me so long to review this fic? I love this story! I’ve read it probably half a dozen times. This is my favorite fic featuring the Cullens in a band, and it’s my all-time second favorite high school fic, second only to “Wide Awake” (which is like saying I like ponies, but only because I can’t actually own a unicorn). I once described this story to Bestie as, “They’re in high school, but also, they’re in a band.” And that pretty much sums it up. Except not really. Carlisle and Esme are newlyweds who kids date (canon pairings) and also make up the jazz/rock band Breaking Dawn. In my head, this band is like The Decemberists—madly talented, lots of different members, very hipster. Bella moves into Forks and it turns out she can sing (like Sarah McLachlan in my mind), and she gets drawn into Breaking Dawn. Except she has terrible stage fright. Last relevant plot point is that Bella has an online pen pal with whom she shares her writing, and Edward has an online pen pal, too, so…I think you can figure that out before Bella and Edward do. I love this story. Alternately funny, angsty, lemony, and with serious music knowledge infused throughout. Music lovers will love this fic just for all the references thrown down (Rosalie plays a red Gibson SG—perfect, right?). Bella and Edward do the usual “I like you but I shouldn’t” dance, with miscommunications and misunderstandings galore. There’s a dollop of mystery mixed in, and the story follows most Twilight conventions. This story wins points for an excellent use of Jasper. He plays bass while wearing red long johns and cowboy boots. How cool is that? Bonus points for this fic being complete. If you’ve followed me on twitter for a while, you’ve probably seen me rec this story before. It’s one of my all-time faves, one of the first fics I ever read. If you haven’t read this one yet, do so. It’s one of the best-written fics out there, with one of the most enjoyable casts of characters. Oh, and Tanya is, well….just read it. It’s pretty funny how the Cullens get “revenge”. Also, there’s a sequel of sorts going, or maybe a re-telling, called “Tropic of Gemini”—it’s the same group of Cullens but it’s Jasper and Alice’s story.

“The Letter” by changed_by_edward

In keeping with the theme today, I thought I would recommend another music-centric fic. And this one takes the cake because Edward is “EC Velvet”, rapmaster extraordinaire. That’s right. You heard me. Edward Cullen, rap star. Think Eminem—in fact, if you’re at all familiar with Eminem, Velvet’s back-story is going to sound very familiar. That said, this is an interesting fic. Superstar Edward courts shy, recovering-from-a-bad-relaysh Bella, and in his hothouse world of tours and record labels, Bella finds herself growing stronger and more independent. This is actually a pretty serious, angsty fic, but I find the idea of Edward Cullen, rap star, so funny I laugh at some point in every chapter. It’s just not the most obvious choice of career for Edward, you know? But the author really makes it work. The details in this story are solid—Bella joins Edward on tour and suffers from exhaustion, the details about the buses, the assistants, the groupies, all of it rings true. And the Bellward relationship is great, in turns they are both strong, vulnerable, angry, peaceful, supportive, scared. I have to imagine that it paints a fairly realistic portrait of what it would be like for a normal woman to fall for a super-famous guy—stressful. I recommend this story knowing it’s a little out there what with the whole rap thing, and Bella’s semi-stalkerish beginnings, but the central relationship is so well drawn, it’s worth it. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Edward throw down some mad rhymes?

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