You must have been under a rock if you haven’t heard about the swine flu. And now, I’m just gonna come right out and say it… it’s all your fault. Yep, that’s right, you Rob fans have not being playing it safe and have been “sharing” and it’s getting ridiculious. It’s good to see SOMEONE is finally taking some action:
An life-size image of Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen in the saga, has been attracting lustful attention from film followers at the Reel cinema in Crewe.
The Sunday Telegraph reports that employees have now placed a notice on the cutout which reads: “Please help reduce the spread of germs by refraining from giving Edward, or any other character for that matter, a kiss or a hug.”
Reel Cinemas managing director Kailash Suri said that New Moon was sold out for the first week, adding: “The girls were coming in and having their pictures taken. They were getting a bit carried away and in the nicest possible way we said, ‘Don’t kiss him’.”
That’s right ladies. We need to take a stance, a stance towards stopping the spread of germs through Cardward lovin’. And you can help!
1. Get your own Cardward!
No need to go to the movies or your local Nordstrom’s to use the “community” Cardwards to satisfy your needs. Get your own. You don’t know who was there before you, and while you are kissing it now, this person was kissing it earlier:
How many times do I need to stress this?!? NO FANGS!! Gah.
::shudders:: Bet you think twice about that now. (Pic Source)
2. Carry your little Pocket Edward in your purse.
If the feeling strikes, pull out your Pocket Edward. You know you all have one (don’t pretend) and give him a kiss. And never share him. Never. Then you are asking for all that swine flu business!
I got mine. Where's yours?
3. Find and kidnap Real Rob!
The best way to avoid inappropriate groping of cardboard cutouts and action figures… get the real deal. Now this may be the most tricky, but I think I got it. Just fly to LA, and somewhere in the city (really anywhere), line up Hot Pockets, beer and cigarettes in a trail, leading all the way to your trunk. Close trunk. Drive like a bat out of hell all the way home. Get rid of the hubs and kids and you are good to go!
Wait, this idea is too genius. Why am I sharing?!? Um, yeah, ignore #3 and go with 1 or 2. Yeah, that’s it!
Filed under: Rob Pattinson | Tagged: cardward, edward, germs, merchandise, movie, New Moon, pattinson, robert, rpattz, swine flu, Twilight
“Just fly to LA, and somewhere in the city (really anywhere), line up Hot Pockets, beer and cigarettes in a trail, leading all the way to your trunk.”
LMAO! That’s just awesomeness right there!
Win!
roflmao amber love idea number 3. thank you for divulging your cunning plan.
OMG….That was soooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved it…:D
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Andrea and Amber, Amber. Amber said: Ways to Stop the Spread of Swine Flue: Everyone… get your own Rob! http://bit.ly/7V7WwW [...]
I’ve had the swine flu so I’ve got the anti bodies to fight it off – so I reckon Ican hug the cardboard cut outs…. I want to that is! I agree the real thing wud be better!
If i want to (sorry)
I think I may have to try #3. Hot Pocket house delivery service. That should take me straight to him!