Whatever happened to children’s toys?

I went Christmas shopping this last weekend and ended up in Toys ’R Us, shopping for the wee ones. Having no kids of my own and not spending tons of time around children either, I don’t have a lot of experience dealing with them. I tend to just treat kids like really short adults. You want to touch the electric fence even after repeated warnings not to? Fine. See–hurts, right? I told you it would. Won’t do that again, will you? That’s how I roll with the kids. So when it comes to buying kids’ toys, I am completely out of my element. When I was a kid I liked three things: books, boxes, firecrackers. If I couldn’t read it, crawl inside it, or set it on fire, I wasn’t interested. What “regular” toys I did have tended to be of the “death trap” persuasion, such as lawn darts and air rifles. Kids’ toys suck now. Nothing in the whole toy store looked fun to me. All of it was push-button-operated mechanical crap, or High School Musical-themed tents and shit. It was depressing. No wonder kids today are so dumb. Their toys blow and require zero imagination. I was thrilled when I battled my way to the middle of the store and found Lego Land. I bought every kid in my life a different Lego set. I had my pick, because I was the only person in Lego Land. The store was PACKED, and no one was buying Legos. People suck.

“La Canzone della Bella Cigna” by Philadelphic

All of a sudden last week everyone started recommending this story to me. Appreciate it, but I was already sucked in along with you. I’ve got several of these “Bella in music school” fics, but this is by far my favorite of the lot. Add in the fact that it’s an Alternate Universe, and I like it even more. Edward is a Cullen, he is perpetually 17, and he is a “piano prodigy”. He’s in the music conservatory as a doctoral student when 19 year old Bella enters as an undergrad to study opera. He is assigned as her accompanist, and you know the rest. He resists, she is intrigued, she discovers his secret. This is a more logical take on the world of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer tended to dispose of her own rules when they became inconvenient—Philadelphic remains consistent in her characterizations and logic. Edward is sensitive, he is gentle, he is so careful with Bella. But he is also a vampire. No matter how hard he tries, he leaves bruises. He has an appetite to consume he can’t deny (spoiler—lemons!). He does not want to change Bella, but when they are threatened with indefinite separation, he accepts it without all that puffy-shirt whining. This Bella has a lot in common with Canon Bella, but here she is more sharply defined, more independent, more fully drawn. She has real friendships outside of Edward (Jasper and Alice—you won’t believe how that goes down), and she stands up to and for Edward more decisively, I think. Here, when Edward tries to withdraw, Bella flatly refuses to let him. She does not meekly accept his leaving because she knows, without having to experience it, that she won’t make it without him. And then there’s the Volturi. This is by far my favorite characterization of Aro and crew to date. I once heard Jamie Campbell Bower (Caius, in the movies) describe the Volturi thusly: “They don’t think of themselves as evil. They aren’t evil. They’re the government. Not everyone likes the government.” That is EXACTLY how these Volturi behave. Aro is cunning, crafty, a master strategist. He wants something and is determined to get it. His relationship with Carlisle is far pricklier than anything I’ve seen in fanfiction. Aro is a despot, spoiled on his own tyranny. He was probably once a great leader, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. In order to save himself and Bella, as well as some others, from Aro and the Volturi, Edward is going to have to wage a prolonged and subtle campaign of wits and wills against Aro in Volterra, where he and Bella are going to continue to study music—under Aro’s tutelage. This is a good one—complex, deep, richly drawn. It also gets bonus points for excellent use of some beautiful opera and classical music.

“Dying by Degrees” by reamhar

This is the week for Alternate Universe rec’s. As you may have figured out by now, I do not like New Moon very much. It is my least favorite of the books. I don’t like how Bella just rolls over after all Edward does and accepts him, no questions asked. I feel like a self-respecting young woman would ask some questions. But Edward is all, “I’m sorry, I lied, I really do love you,” and Bella goes, “Okay, we’re cool,” and everything’s swell, no repercussions of his abandonment. It has always bugged how easily Bella forgives Edward. I get it, they’re like, so in loooove, but that doesn’t mean you just swallow ill treatment from your significant other. So I really like AU fics that recast New Moon in a way that shows Bellward struggling to heal after their separation (see also: “My Yes, My No” by LolaShoes). This story is all about that reconciliation. It picks up after the confrontation in Volterra, as Edward and Bella return to Forks. At first, Bella is so happy to have saved Edward, to be alive, that she is able to just be with him. But then doubts creep in, as they inevitably would. Their reconciliation is painful. Bella needs time and space, Edward is almost physically incapable of giving her those things. Make no mistake, this is not Bella “punishing” Edward. He punishes himself enough, and Bella doesn’t want to keep apart from him, either, she simply realizes they need to heal themselves before they can heal together. She understands that Edward needs to forgive himself before he can accept her forgiveness. It’s all about taking one another off the pedestal and meeting in the middle. Probably the best comparison I can make is that this is like a couple trying to recover from infidelity. Obviously, Edward wasn’t really unfaithful, nor was Bella, but the damage his leaving wrought is very similar. Bella’s trust has been destroyed, Edward has a lot of self-directed anger, and this story frames their “recovery” as a painful process of re-learning to love one another as equals. Snaps for also giving Bella a scene to call out the Cullens for abandoning her when Edward leaves. When they try and claim her as their sister and daughter, she shuts them down. And she’s right to—Bella never expresses her anger to the Cullens at all in canon Twilight. Here, the family is going to have to earn her trust back, too.

Can’t get enough fan fiction?!? Be sure to check out ALL of Kstew411′s recs!

AND… another super special note…

Today is the Birth – iversary of my all time favorite blog and pretty much the only reason I am here, Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob! If you are not reading their blogs, what the hell?! And if you are, be sure to take a moment today and tell them how much you love them!