Waffles or pancakes? — FF Recs by @KStew411

It’s the eternal question. Which do you eat? It’s redundant to eat both waffles and pancakes at the same time. They’re basically the same thing, after all. I feel like there’s something to be said about one’s character depending on which one chooses, but really I was thinking about this when I saw someone order both waffles and pancakes at breakfast the other day. It drove me crazy the whole time I was at the restaurant, watching this guy eat both a stack of pancakes and a Belgian waffle. You should all know by now that I’m a judgy bitch, so of course I was judging the dude with the waffle and the pancakes. After watching him work his way through two piles of buttermilk batter, I realized that this guy is a genius. Because what is the problem always encountered in an IHOP? Too much syrup. They give you that tray of flavored syrup and you can never use them all, you always have to choose between strawberry and boysenberry. But this guy solved that problem–just order both pancakes *and* waffles and you can use both. As for me, I’m a French toast and lingonberry girl–judge away.

“Psychotic SuperPowered Vampirism” by Pastiche Pen

This story was rec’ed by BrookeLockart. We have our disagreements, but I like BroLo’s taste in fics. I think this is crackfic. I don’t really know, as I don’t read any crackfic (not for any reason other than I haven’t gotten there yet, but I can feel a crackfic binge coming on…), but I’m going to call it crackfic. Why? Because this story is INSANE. And why aren’t you all reading it? I was shocked to see this fic has less than 500 reviews. You might recognize Pastiche Pen as the beta for many top fics, and she is also one of the admins of my personal fic dealer, The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster. PSPV is a nutty New Moon AU in which Bella goes batshit insane after Edward leaves. She also discovers that she can become invisible, as her newfound crazy has given her a superpower. Alice disobeys Edward’s edict to leave Bella alone and keeps watching Bella, advising Charlie on how to keep her spirits up, as well as purging his wardrobe. Bella takes to drinking blood (I am telling you, this story is CRAZY), which saves her when she encounters Laurent in the meadow. They sit down to drink Bella’s blood supply and commiserate over lost loves. They also begin planning Bella’s revenge on Edward which somehow involves moving to the islands. The POV ranges through Bella, Jacob, Jasper, and I suspect EPOV will come up when it’s time. It also goes through several formats, including texts, emails and phone calls. Don’t worry–it’s easy to keep track and it is so funny. Like so, so funny. I laughed the entire time I was reading it, and it’s one I have reread since, when I need a pick me up. This story is an infrequent updater, but it’s well worth the wait. Edward’s return is imminent and I can’t stress enough that every single one of you needs to be reading this story by the time that happens.

There is more… after the jump!

“The Blessing & The Curse” by The Black Arrow

This is not the darkest Edward I’ve ever seen, but he’s pretty dark. Edward and Bella grow up together in Forks, literally best friends from the cradle. It turns out Edward has a special gift; he can read minds–but really, only Bella’s, and only when he touches her. So Edward uses this gift to keep Bella by his side. Except the toll this takes on Bella is basically that she’s been in an abusive relationship. She has no privacy, she’s scared of Edward, but she also can’t leave him. Because Bella is the one who understands him the most. The final straw comes when Bella catches Edward sleeping with her best friend Alice at a party. This is all recounted through memories, as Bella reflects on her childhood when she returns to the Cullen home as Esme is about to pass away. Bella has been called back to join the family for Esme’s final days and the funeral. This is a sad story, folks. The family’s grief is tangible, especially Carlisle’s, and if that weren’t bad enough, Bellward’s complicated relationship provides plenty of angst. This fic is almost unbearably angsty, in part because it is so clear to us, the readers, that Edward loves Bella and is simply too mired in his own complications to own up to it. And Bella is engaged to Mike Newton and is on the brink of an unhappy future with a man she knows she doesn’t love. This story is nominated in the Eddies & Bellies for “Story that makes you wanna throw your monitor” and that pretty much describes what reading it is like. It’s so frustrating–you just want to lock everyone in a room together and force them to talk honestly with one another. So why bother, if this fic is so angsty and frustrating? Because it’s beautiful. The characters are real and complex–no one is perfect but no one is evil, either. A family mired in an abyss of grief, a couple divided by years of mistrust and miscommunication, a man being destroyed by his own complicated personality–it’s realistic and fantastic at once. Warning: you may want to slap Bella a little, especially toward the end of the available chapters. Edward is no peach, but Bella is a bit…spineless and/or patently obtuse, depending on your interpretation. Thus, wanting to throw your monitor after reading an update.

Do you need fan fiction like a french fry needs ketchup? Or like peanut butter needs jelly? Or like Rob needs new manties? Then go on over and check out the rest of KStew411′s FF recommendations! Cause you know you NEED more!