Tomorrow, at midnight, tweens, teens and Twimoms across the U.S. will be gathered at Walmarts, Borders and what ever other stores may be having these late night scream fests that include way too many kids (and Twimoms, I can’t decide which is worse) competing for lame prizes. However some of us will not be partaking in this fuckery.

Can you believe these crazy bitches lined up in Walmart for THIS?!?
Personally, I know I can’t be at one of those parties, for several reasons. In fact, if either of my reasons sound like they fit you, you probably shouldn’t go either. First off, I lack the bond money I will need for when I slap the first 13 year old that screams, “I love Edward Pattinson!” Secondly, I am overly competive. It’s kind of a sickness. And if it came down to me and some 9 year old with a Team Jacob shirt on to win the New Moon key chain that isn’t worth the metal ring I will put it, I will destroy that 9 year old. People will look at me strange and think I am ridiculious. I will dance my happy dance waving the key chain in the face of the 9 year old and saying “Hahaha! Oh, and by the way, Taylor is gaaaaaaaaay!” Said kid will cry, and I will not care.
Instead of partying all night at a party that doesn’t even serve alcohol (hello, that is not a party), I’m going to be at home, going through my list of things to do while not attending a New Moon midnight party. Luckily, I am willing to share my 5 things that homebody Twi-fans must do when it comes to New Moon DVD release day!
1. Grab your snuggie and cuddle up on the coach and watch Twilight. Relive the happy times of hot, sexy, v-neck t-shirt Edward before moody, broody Tweed Edward makes you depressed the next day!
2. Get a cold beer (or wine, if that is your thang, I’m a beer girl) and catch up on all your fan fiction updates. Since you’ve been reading Bel Ami and most likely, Water for Elephants, I know you are behind. What a perfect night to catch up and get in the mood.

While tweens are competing for Team Jacob keychains, I'll be dreaming of this... with a blonde Bella, who is slightly older, and maybe runs a blog...
3. Snuggle up in your bed with your Edward pillow and fall asleep by 11:30 a.m. You’ve got a long day of crying, squeeing, reliving New Moon on Saturday, and you’ll need your strength. You know you are going to lose your shit again when they go through the month montage.
4. Wake up Saturday morning, fully refreshed. Have a cup of coffee and a bowl of cocoa puffs, all while listening to the soundtrack. Then get on over to Target (or other store of choice, although I’m going with Target) and get your DVD, which I’m sure they will have plenty of.
5. Come home and enjoy, knowing that you did not have to fight any teens or tweens, or put up with Team Jacob fans (ugh!).
So, are any of you daring to fight the crowds? Or will you be sitting at home eating bon bons thinking about all those crazy Twi-fans and laughing to yourself, like me?