Monthly Archives: May 2010

Water for Elephants — Chapters 22-25, The Conclusion ::cries::

SPOILER ALERT!!! If you are not reading or planning to read Water for Elephantsbook or script, then do not read this post or the comments. We are reading Water for Elephants together and I want everyone to feel free to discuss openly. You should join us if you haven’t already!

Start at the beginning!!

Chapters 1-3, where the waterworks begin!

Chapters 4-6, lots of new characters!

Chapters 7-9, penises, dead horses and an elephant!

Chapters 10-12, Jacob is falling in love, with a girl and an animal

Chapters 13-15, Rosie the Troublemaker and Taking Care of Camel

Chapters 16-18, Rosie Speaks Polish and August Loses It

Chaps. 19-21, Old People Crying, Jacob & Marlena Together & Uncle Al Scares Me

Jacob wakes up back in his room with Walter and Camel. He’d been knocked out and drug back to the room. Of course, he is freaking out about Marlena (since she is in a family way and all) but Walter tells him he can’t go. They have 3 days till Providence and they need to stay to ensure Camel gets to his family. Walter tells Jacob to trust that Marlena can handle August.

Once Camel and Walter are both asleep, Jacob sneaks out, climbing along the stock cars of the moving train with a knife in his teeth. (Side note: Rob doing this is gonna be HOT!) He moves along all the cars till he gets to the performer’s car, then moves to August’s room, with the intent to kill him. But he loses the courage, so he sets the knife down on what would be Marlena’s pillow and leaves, once again moving across all the cars back to his with Walter and Camel.

But once he gets to the car, he starts to notice things. An open vent, one of the horses is riled up, the open exterior door

and then open interior door. Walter and Camel are gone, and poor little Queenie is hiding in the corner. It’s clear what happened. They were red-lighted.

Jacob thinks there is a chance they are still alive. He takes off to find Earl, the one good security guy, and confronts him. Earl had no idea, but agrees to find out who all got redlighted. He tells Jacob that he knows they were going for him and needs to get off the show as quickly as he can. Of course, Jacob can’t go without Marlena, so Earl tells him he’ll be safe during the day, but if he gets on the train again, he cannot let his guard down.

Jacob finds Marlena and tells them they have to get out of here. Of course, August sees this and sends Earl in to get Jacob out of there. Luckily, Earl and Jacob do a bit of acting so Jacob can talk to Marlena, who is insisting on getting money out of August’s room for them. Jacob tells her he will do it, and begs her not to go anywhere near the train.

Of course, the entire day Jacob couldn’t get near the room to get the money. The show is getting ready to start, and he has no idea where Marlena is. Grady grabs him and takes him to the midway for a bite to eat and to talk. Some of the other guys that got red lighted caught back up to the train. Walter and Camel did not make it.

And the guys that survived and caught up are pissed, rightly so. Basically, Grady tells him that they are planning to take Uncle Al down. Grady is warning Jacob so he can get out of there, and take Marlena with him.

But then, as soon as the show starts, the band starts, stops with a crash, then starts playing the Disaster March aka Stars and Stripes Forever. All of the animals have been set lose from the menagerie, all of them. It’s a stampede. Jacob is frantically searching for Marlena, and finally finds her with August and Rosie. The only one that sees Jacob is Rosie.

Rosie then reaches down, pulls her stake out of the ground and looks over at Jacob before looking back to August and plunging the stake into the back of his head. When he falls, she places it back into the ground to make it look like nothing happened. And just as soon as it all happens, a group of zebras trample August’s body, leaving Jacob as the only one that knows what Rosie did. Marlena sees the remains of August and drops to the ground, where Rosie steps over her, protecting  her from the remaining animals.

Jacob helps to gather the animals. Many of them are easy to retrieve, but the ones that matter are all still missing. Uncle Al is gone, August’s body is taken away and police are everywhere. Another circus pulls up, Necsi Brothers, and begins moving animals into their cars. Jacob is not what sure to do, so he calls the dean at his school and sets up a meeting to take his exams.

When Jacob sees Nesci Brothers trying to take Rosie, he tells them she is his. Other men vouch for him, but the sheriff who sold her is reluctant. Then Jacob tells the Nesci Brothers bull man she is stupid and can’t do anything, and of course when they speak to her in English, she does nothing. And know, in addition to Marlena and a child on the way, Jacob has an elephant.

Just when Jacob is getting ready to go and tell Marlena about Rosie, she tears off and manages to get all 11 of her horses returned back to her, effectively making them the owners of a dog (Queenie), an elephant and 11 horses, along with a baby on the way. And at once they realize they have to get on another show. It’s the only way. Marlena suggests Ringling, but that they will have to be married. And of course, Jacob is more then ready to do it.

Later that day, Uncle Al’s body is found. It’s very clear he was murdered, which is not terribly surprising. Oh, and then Jacob and Marlena steal Bobo. Yep, one more animal for their family.

Back to old man Jacob, who is still pissed about his family forgetting him. But then, he remembers the day his oldest was born, and how he was so relieved to see the red hair that let him know he was his.

And in his frustration with missing the circus, Jacob decides to make a run for it. Well, as fast as he can go, which is not too fast. All is going well, till he is stopped by the ticket taker. Of course he doesn’t have any money. A manager hears the confrontation, sees Jacob and offers to take him in for free.

Then the manager finds out that Jacob was on a show. And that he was there for the stampede, which is now a piece of circus history. Charlie, the manager, asks Jacob if he could take him home after the show, as he wants to hear all about it first hand. And of course, Jacob ends up with a front row seat to the remainder of the show.

After the show, Charlie takes Jacob out to his RV so that Jacob can tell him all about his time on the Benzini Brothers show. He tells him everything, even about Rosie killing August, which he never told any one before. Jacob goes on and tells him about his years with Ringling, till he and Marlena had 3 children and retired off. Jacob became the vet at a zoo, and of course brought Rosie with him. The others all went to live on a rural property with Marlena and the kids, 5 at the end of it all.

And Jacob talks about how it all flew by, how now he is in his nineties and alone. And then someone knocks on the door. It’s the police, and Jacob just knows they are looking for him. The police are looking for Jacob, but then Charlie did something amazing.

He lied. He lied about who Jacob is, and the police leave.

Charlie asks Jacob is he is sure, if he needs meds and about his family. Jacob insists that he needs nothing, and can for the most part, still take care of himself. Jacob is officially back on a show… officially back home.

::cue the water works::

Gah, what a fantastic ending! The book is amazing, Rob is perfect for this and I truly cannot wait to see it all played out on the big screen. What did you think? Did you cry like a baby? Was it too happily every after for you, to which I say shut it cause we all had the gut wrench already on Remember Me.


Rob brings the funny to MTV promos AKA Gah, I love this boy!

I’m keeping it short and sweet today. Cause for one, I am vacay. Two, I am drinking wine. Three, it’s the PFach on the television for Can’t Hardly Wait and I can’t help but watch.

I seriously arrived at my hotel to an email from MTV saying Rob was in a promo. I had no idea what to expect, but was I expecting this. Uh, no. Cause this is pure awesomeness.

Dirt. DIRT! I am slayed. This is just further proof that Rob is a funny dude, whether he thinks it or not. The adorableness is almost too much. I think even TheShagDaddy was a little turned on by Rob in this commercial. Yep, the Robiliciousness is spreading like a bad disease, a disease I hope to never find a cure for.


Magic Tan Rob likes to draw penises

Personally, I don’t think I have ever, I repeat, EVER had a better post title then this one. Of course, the clearly have nothing to do with one another. I just needed some clever way to try and tie the two together and that was the best way I could think to do it. I think it works, no?

Magic Tan Rob

Now, many of you are wondering what the hell Magic Tan is, right? Well, it’s the off shoot Mystic Tan, which is like the original purveyor of fake booth spray tans (at least around these parts). Rob has now gotten the name Magic Tan Rob because it is clear he has visited this, or some other spray tanning person, to get this color. Which I love. Pale is sooooo last year! For Robowksi (or Robcob, whatever), he needs a tough manly tan, like the one seen in this video:

I know you are talking, I mean, I can hear you reading what sounds like something written on a cue card, but I keep getting distracted by the nice tan, great hair, open shirt and what quite possibly may be something else you stole from a movie set, a black Volvo. I can’t be sure, but damn, Rob you gotta be careful. You may be pretty, but people still frown upon grand theft auto. And you are FAR too pretty for prison!

Drawing Penises and assorted other things

Alright, let me start off with this. I love that Rob is doing all these kick ass charity things. From auctioning kisses to signing guitars, the boy is amazingly awesomesauce for all of this. And really, even drawing this picture is super sweet of him. Helping kids and all that. But seriously, next time honey, make sure you avoid drawing the penis:

Huh? Click to open larger, but it won't help.

Of all the things drawn in this balloon, all I see is the peen. And don’t pretend like you don’t see it. You know you do so don’t give me any holier than thou speech. But once I draw my eyes away from the penis, the rest looks like, well, like something my 2 year old daughter draws. No, I think my daughter can do better. I’m just trying to see him drawing this and then sitting back and saying, “yep, that looks fantastic. Mail it off mom.” And don’t get me wrong, if I had the 255 pounds or whatever monetary amount it is being sold in that I have no idea how to convert to US dollars, I would so buy that hoe and frame it and throw it on my wall. Well, probably the wall in my bedroom, cause you know, I don’t want my kids asking questions.


Rob is all over LA, from guitars to dirty gym clothes to Uncle Jesse

Apparently Rob is feeling super comfy in L.A. and getting out and about. We’ve seen all kinds of spottings over the past few days, and I’m quite getting used to see Rob on a very regular basis. (Yes, I am telling myself not to become accustomed to this, but it’s sooo hard!)

First, he’s spotted over the weekend. In an apparent attempt to destroy all the underwear left in the known universe, he walked into a vintage guitar store. And we all died.

Don't act all hard big guy! You know you wanted a Rob-ilicious hug!

This is what the record story guy said on the Facebook:

Today we had somebody really special that came in the store, Robert Pattinson. Rob bought a 1962 ES335 and a Rare Dobro 30′s Double Cyclops. Thanks Rob for your support and you are always welcome at Norman’s Rare Guitars.

Now, being the guitar expert I am, I’m guessing those are pretty nice? Really, I have no idea. I’m guessing guitars to Rob are probably like video games or motorcycles or cars to other guys, except much hotter and safer to collect! And duh Norman. Rob can come back anytime, especially since he just guaranteed a few weeks worth of major foot traffic for you. #BestPREver

Next thing I know, you are spotted leaving the gym. Now, let’s face it. Not the hottest moment from the weekend (hello, your competing against Vintage Guitar Rob, and that’s tough), but it’s like you are just out and about. Ain’t gonna let no paparazzi get you down. Nope.

What up gym rat?

But here is the deal… does Rob not own a gym bag? He just bought those expensive ass guitars, and he can’t go buy a $15 gym bag. Even I own a gym bag, granted it’s the one I got for free for subscribing to GQ (you know why). Gah, men. Rob, might I suggest own of  these adorable totes bags from Letters to Twilight? Cause seriously, they are sooo full of win!

And then, quite possibly the most random of things… Rob at John Stamos’ house?

What you having there Rob? I need to plan what I will drink during my entire trip to LA.

Okay, I get it. It was Bob Saget’s birthday, which was at John Stamos’ house, which was Rob was at. But seriously, how the hell did Rob end up there? Did he have a mad crush on the Olsen twins and hoped one would show up? Perhaps he walked out of the gym, smelled cake and ran? I wonder if Rob just crashed the party and since he was pretty much the only “A” list guy there, no one complained. In fact, they formed a line for pics and autographs and then Rob made balloon animals.

Great weekend my boy! Keep up the good time, for me!


Exploring alternate universe — FF Recs from @KStew411

If you’ve been reading these rec’s for a while, you know I’m not super into AU stories. I am obsessed with Dead Confederates and I adore Last Rites and La Canzone, but I’m not a heavy reader of AU. Or, I wasn’t, until I started really striking out with all human fics. The last couple weeks have been pretty thin as far as finding new AH stories. So I started following the favorite stories of some authors I like and I opened up a whole new can of worms in AU. So today I have a couple AU rec’s for you, and unless something really grabs my attention, it will probably be AU rec’s for the next couple weeks, too. Side effect of reading some really good AU stories–I can’t read real Twilight anymore. It’s too chaste.

The Dark Side of the Moon” by Blondie

How have I not recommended this story?! This is a MAJOR oversight on my part and I apologize to you all. This was one of the first fanfics I ever read. JAG from RAOR recommended it to me almost a year ago. I can’t imagine there are many out there who haven’t read DSOTM, but then, I am always surprised by the number of people who miss some of the fics that have been around a while. DSOTM is New Moon told entirely from Edward’s perspective. Basically, the Midnight Sun version of New Moon. I have to say, one thing that has always bugged me about Twilight is that Stephenie Meyer gave us half of Breaking Dawn from freaking Jacob’s perspective, which let’s be honest, no one cares about, but we have no idea what’s going on with Edward during New Moon. Want to do a POV switch? How about cutting that whole part of New Moon where Bella moped around in favor of showing us what Edward was up to? (Granted, there is an outtake on Stephenie’s website of when Edward got The Call.) Still, DSOTM is what I always wanted from New Moon. Blondie does a fantastic job staying in canon. Her Edward is completely consistent with canon Edward, yet he is a fresh and interesting character. And her concept of how he spent his six months away from Bella is amazing. The tendency is to kind of dismiss Edward’s melodramatic tendencies, but Blondie’s characterization is so good that it’s easy to understand why he is making the decisions he makes, and to see them not as melodramatic overreaction, but as poor decisions made by a desperate, grieving man. The other characters are well drawn–Bella especially comes off as a bit stronger and more self-determined–but it’s Edward’s show. If you’re Team Edward and you haven’t read DSOTM, get on it.

Laid Bare” by Brits23

While still AU, LB is considerably out of character. The story opens with Bella, daddy’s little girl, at a poker night with “her boys” from the rez, drinking, smoking, fooling around with Embry. This Bella is chameleonic. For Charlie she is daddy’s little princess, for her boys she is a tough-talking, Tequila drinking bad girl. Bella isn’t a bad person, she just hasn’t decided if she’s going to be what everyone else expects her to be or if she’ll just be herself. Bella’s personality crisis starts to clear up when she begins speaking with Edward Cullen, her biology partner. LB takes some liberties with the Twilight plot. Here Edward tried to turn Rosalie so he would have a mate like Carlisle did in Esme, but his venom “didn’t work” and Carlisle ended up having to turn her. Edward is moody and a virgin, but beyond that he doesn’t have a lot in common with canon Edward. LB Edward smokes, cusses, and when Bella chooses to be changed into a vampire, though he doesn’t love her choice, Edward respects it. Gasp–Edward listens to Bella and respects her choices! LB Bella is even more out of character than Edward. Tough, no-nonsense, she strong and determined not to let vampires and werewolves push her around. No cowering and hand-wringing here. LB has a unique twist on James and Victoria that I don’t want to spoil for you. Suffice it to say, the James scene is one of the most tense I have read. And did I mention the lemons? Oh yeah–this story is super lemony. Edward and Bella get it on early and often. They have a magnetic chemistry they can’t deny, and I love that here is an Edward who does not hesitate to get what he wants. Despite their vampire/human differences, Edward and Bella are a well matched pair and they don’t waste a lot of time lamenting their differences. They just deal with their reality and are committed to doing whatever they have to in order to remain together. And man, do they really have to commit to sticking together. Laid Bare never fails to take an unexpected direction and keep me guessing with what’s next and how else fate can conspire to screw over Edward and Bella.

Never run out of new fics to read! Check out all the rest of KStew411′s recs and reviews!


Chaps. 19-21, Old People Crying, Jacob & Marlena Together & Uncle Al Scares Me

SPOILER ALERT!!! If you are not reading or planning to read Water for Elephants book or script, then do not read this post or the comments. We are reading Water for Elephants together and I want everyone to feel free to discuss openly. You should join us if you haven’t already!

Start at the beginning!!

Chapters 1-3, where the waterworks begin!

Chapters 4-6, lots of new characters!

Chapters 7-9, penises, dead horses and an elephant!

Chapters 10-12, Jacob is falling in love, with a girl and an animal

Chapters 13-15, Rosie the Troublemaker and Taking Care of Camel

Chapters 16-18, Rosie Speaks Polish and August Loses It

The old Jacob chapters keep getting harder and harder. Jacob is so excited about the circus, gets all gussyed up for the

family and patiently awaits them. And then we have this horrible image. A line of old people in the lobby, grandmothers and grandfathers waiting for their families to show, and all of them do, except Jacob’s. Rosemary calls and checks and they forgot. He is just crushed and starts crying, which means I start crying. And then Rosemary drops the news that her last day is tomorrow. Can nothing go right for him? She gives him some time alone in the lobby.

Flash back and we see Marlena means business. Jacob watches as she effectively moves out, all while August is outside begging her to come back to him. She stays strong and walks away, and I am really freaking proud of her. Jacob catches up to her to walk her off to a hotel.

Apparently the hotel search isn’t easy, considering it appears that an unwed couple with abusive issues is trying to secure a room, rather then just a woman who is trying to leave her husband. But once they find one, Jacob makes sure she is okay and leaves.

Jacob gets back to business when Uncle Al wants to see him. He basically lays it out, he doesn’t want to lose either one of them, doesn’t think it will work with them being apart, and basically tells Jacob he needs to “work on” Marlena so they can get them back together. Jacob refuses, but then August finally explains what is wrong with August.

He is a schizophrenic. It completely explains all of his actions and his massive mood swings. How he can go from super charming to hitting his own wife? Which apparently Uncle Al sees as perfectly okay. Jacob says no, Uncle Al threatens his job, Jacob starts to walk. Until Al brings up Walter and Camel, who he has known about him the whole time. Gives a whole spill about how he sees everyone as family, but he is also willing to sacrifice others for the good of the rest. Or essentially, he is bullying Jacob into helping because if he leaves, Walter and Camel will most likely be the “sacrifice.”

Jacob goes back to work and finally has the first confrontation with August. Which really isn’t a confrontation at all. In fact, its like nothing more the a couple of friends who had one too many and argued, not an all out brawl that ended with domestic abuse. Basically, we see the multiple personalities come out in full force. August wants to move on and be friends again. He asks Jacob where she is, but he won’t tell him and August leaves to find her. And of course, once again, all of this was in front of Rosie.

Of course, Jacob goes back to the hotel to warn Marlena that August is coming for her. After a minor run in with the clerk who obviously has already dealt with August once, Marlena insists she will not move as August already believes she is not there.

Jacob confronts her about August, and she’s says he’s always been like this although he never hit her. Basically she did not know he was this way until after they were married, but by then it was too late. There were plenty of incidents that let her know he was not above it, but she had no where else to go.

Then she asks Jacob to stay with her. And then it happens. One of the most sensual scenes I’ve read in awhile. When Marlena says “touch me” and Jacob says “let me be inside you” I died. I really hope those two lines specifically make it to the movie, cause I will melt if Rob says that. Melt, I tell you!

And then they both lay there and reveal everything to each other. Jacob finally, for the first time, tells someone what happened with his parents. Then another moment of morning sex, but it’s so loving that you can’t help but be happy for Jacob. Cause he deserves this happiness.

They finally wake up and realize the world is still out there. After finally coming to terms that they are both in love with each other, they make plans to run away. Jacob realizes they have to wait until Providence, which is where they are meeting Camel’s son. He has to stay with Uncle Al until he is sure that Walter and Camel are safe from being redlighted.

Jacob goes back to Walter and explains everything. Of course Walter is pissed because while Camel has somewhere to go, he has nowhere. That is when Jacob tells him to come with them, that they will find another circus. Walter tells him that Marlena had better be worth it.

Uncle Al begins badgering Jacob, wondering if he’s made progress on getting the two back together. Jacob puts him off as much as he can, but tells him not to push Marlena or it will all be ruined. He knows he needs to just get Uncle Al off his back till Providence.

Marlena goes on with her act, but the elephant show is cancelled due to the ass kicking Jacob gave August. But August continues to pursue Marlena hard core. The begging is ridiculous, and Uncle Al tries to squash as much as he can (following on Jacob’s word), but it’s clearly frustrating him.

Of course, Jacob and Marlena are still very much in love. They are very formal and such in front of everyone, but are doing it like bunnies whenever they can. Awww, good times. But not good times for the circus. No Rosie, no fat lady and an alcohol raid have destroyed the funds, and for the first time ever, even the performers are not getting paid. Walter is pissed, and of course, he is worried about what will happen after Providence.

Now Jacob feels terrible. He knows that he got Walter into this, and of course being the guy he is, he wants to make sure he is okay. But now there is another hitch in the whole plan. Marlena is pregnant. And Uncle Al is getting pissed. It’s been 3 weeks, and they are not back together. So Al decides he wants to do it his way. We aren’t sure what that means, but if Earl’s expression is any indication, it’s not going to be good.

Since the show is in ruins, Rosie is back on. Of course Jacob is panicked due to the fact that she’s pregnant. He goes to watch the show. But Rosie is not exactly keen on working with August anymore, so she tears out of the tent. August chases after and rips into her, Marlena follows, trying to help her. Of course Jacob starts to go after, but Blackie grabs him and all he can do is watch as August throws Marlena over his shoulder and takes off. And then, Jacob is knocked out.


If I Survive the Bel Ami Sex Scenes, I Will Not Make it Out Alive on Water for Elephants

Yes, I know that every other Rob site out there has this covered. But here is the deal, I can’t not talk about these pictures. Because hot damn people, I’m gonna have to go on record right now and say this is one of, if not the hottest, Rob’s we’ve ever seen. EVER SEEN.

Don’t believe me? Well, feast your eyes on these:

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Be jealous of me now. Cause when I see Rob in the flesh this June, I will get to see this Rob. The Rob with the oh so perfect length of hair. The Rob with some actual sun on his skin. The smiley Rob that kills us all. Yep, that’s the pretty that I will get to see in the flesh. It will be awesome.

And seriously, now that you are seeing the pictures, you need to read the book and be all kinds of caught up before the movie comes out. I mean, I started a book club and everything for you, so you have no excuse.

Oh, and cool slideshow, huh? I had no freakin’ idea I could do these in WordPress. Learning something new every day!


Always Bring Your “A” Game Fangirls…. ALWAYS!

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a discussion with all you fangirls. And I can be frank with you cause I am one of you. I get it. But it breaks my heart when I see one of you go astray. One who is presented the golden ticket but somehow manages not to end up at the chocolate factory. And let’s all face it, the cute little Australian flight attendant on Ellen totally missed her opportunity.

She had everything going for her. Cute. Blonde. Accent. Flight attendant. Problem is, she left her “A” game outside the Ellen studio, along with her camera and iPhone. “Pattin’ Pattinson” was the game, and let’s face it, pretty much every Rob fangirls dream.

Now, she does get mad props for spending most of her time on Rob (although she had no idea it was him) and for getting “down” to business, but seriously, how do you mess this up? How do you not realize who Rob is?

Here’s Amber’s fool proof method for recognizing Rob via touch while blind folded (takes notes, this may come in handy one day).

1. Go for the fingers. Just take one hand in yours and go ahead and slide your fingers up and down his. If it takes you more then 5 seconds to get from the knuckle to tip, it’s Rob and his pornographic fingers you are holding.

I wonder if this made Rob just a little excited. #ifyouknowwhatimsaying

2. Hit the shoes, whilst of course touching the legs on the way down. Now, blondie here did this well, but somehow this did not work to her advantage. First off, you just proved you did not do a proper “what is Rob wearing?” inventory as soon as he came on stage. Second, you get to the shoes and you have to remember, Rob only has like 4 pairs of shoes. If they are sneakers, check for the Swoosh or the 3 stripes. Both of the stand ins had on sneakers, but not the right ones. One quick check of the shoes and she would have won.

3. The one sure fire way to quickly identify Rob minus the ability to see…. tickle. It’ s dirty as hell, I know, but Rob’s giggle is distinctive, no? A couple quick tickles across the ribs and… WIN! You win the game, and you get to be up close and personal with a smiley Rob. And let’s face it, is there a better prize then smiley Rob?!

The answer is yes. They didn’t show it on the TV, but apparently this girl also got tickets to the premiere. So here is the run down… She got to feel up Rob with no worries about jailtime or by doing quick math to make sure she had the proper amount of bail money in savings. She LOST the game she was playing. And yet she still got tickets to the premiere. This is total BS.

I am know calling official shenanigans on Ellen. Shenanigans on Ellen for given a prize without winning the contest. And shenanigans on not making Rob dance. Seriously, I would pay good money to see this.


Rob My World… As Seen in People Magazine! That just sounds good rolling off the tongue, doesn’t it?!?

I’ve been going hard at this blog for over year, posting (almost) every day! And you know what, it finally paid off…

What's that there?

Maybe you’re having a hard time reading that? Lemme help you out with that…

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I’m in complete and utter shock right now. This makes no sense. There are so many Rob blogs out there and so how, so way, People got mine!

It started off so weird. On yesterday’s post, jarielynn left a comment on my blog that said:

“BTW- I’m sure you saw and may have mentioned in earlier post I missed… BUT Congrats on being being mentioned in the Twilight People special issue… so cool!”

My immediate thought… what crack is this girl smoking? Surely she got me mixed up with someone else. Now, there are no copies of this magazine yet in Oklahoma, so I found my Twitter friend AccentOnLife who had a copy. Unfortnantely, she had a bad fangirl moment and didn’t have it on her at all times like she should (#duh), so I had to wait till later to find out.

And that’s when I got this scan. While driving. And I squeed so loud that I think the guy driving next to me on the highway heard!

The best part… the article pretty much says that I am more then willing to indulge him whenever he is feeling playful. Yep, I just moved to the front of the line cause it’s in print! LOL

Now, when I announced this yesterday, someone said Rob may see my site now. I kind of cringe at the idea of that by the way, cause either he’ll find it hilarious or he’ll bust out the restraining order quick! Although I’m not gonna lie when I say a copy of this magazine is definitely accompanying me to L.A. for possible signage (assuming I get close enough for signage, which I probably won’t).

And Rob, if you are looking, please do me a favor. Seriously, whatever you do, do not look in the archives. Do not search “happy trail.” Do not search for “fan fiction.” The only link you are allowed to click is the one over on the side there with my email, ‘kay? Now, get outta here!

Okay, one last time then I am outta here….

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


Stop the Presses! Rob Cut His Hair! You all know this isn’t the first time, right?

Okay, seriously. People are cracking me up. Especially the gossip sites!

Rob cuts his trademark hair, will you still love him?

OMG! Edward, what did you do?!?!

Pfft…

Really, people, really. People, not in general but the actual magazine, surely you know that Rob did this for a movie part, not just to fuck with the heads of every teenage girl in America. But yet here we are.

First off, why the freak out? This is not the first time Rob has cut the hair uber short. Now the last time, oh my goodness, that was hilarious. I know he just did it because people wouldn’t stop talking about his hair. Everyone freaked it wouldn’t grow back before New Moon, which anyone with any kind of male in their life knows men’s hair grows at an incredible pace (at least till they hit that bald time of their life).

And honestly, the boy looks good with short hair as well.

Oooh, Northface... nice!

So everyone calm down. And if you here someone talking about how he won’t have the right hair for Breaking Dawn which doesn’t even start filming till fall, slap them! They deserve it, cause they are morons.

Even in a nasty shirt that clearly came from the bottom of "the box." You know, the smelly part.

Soooo, if Rob is a little north of 6 foot, how freakin' tall is this guy? And what the hell is with his crouch? o.O

The side shot of the new, and way better, Jacob!

So now when you see everyone else freaking out, and the Twilight face book, laugh. Laugh at them acting like hair doesn’t grow. Laugh at these people who don’t realize that lack of sex hair does not take away from the hotness. In fact, in some ways, it actually enhances the other forms of porn… jaw, lip, leg, yum!


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