Last year, I suffered through one of the most painful awards shows ever… the Teen Choice Awards. Yes, yes, Rob got on stage and looked cute, blah, blah,blah. To get to those few minutes of Rob-liciousness, I had to suffer through the JoBros, see Miley Cyrus pole dance on an ice cream truck and try to figure out who the eff Fred was. ::shudders::
The Teen Choice Awards come on again tonight, and since they were taped last night, I’ve decided that I am NOT watching. I know what’s what.
We already know what Rob was wearing. And duh, that is the most important part.
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We know what awards Rob won, Best Choice Actor for Drama for Remember Me. Happy times for Rob winning an award (even if it is the TCAs) for something other than Twilight. Yes, I am excited for that one!
BUT, if you feel the absolute need to watch the TCAs, rather then catch everything on YouTube when it shows up 5 minutes after the end of the show, I think you are going to need to put together your survival kit.
1. A Vomit Bag — Cause seriously, with all the crap that teens and tweens like, something they show is bound to make you feel like upchucking.
2. Earplugs or a Working Mute Button — Didn’t you hear? Justin Bieber will be performing.
3. DVR — Cause once you get to the part where you can see Rob, or hear him give his acceptance speech, you are going to want to watch it, rewind it, watch it again, rewind it and pause numerous times to try and catch a screen cap of Rob’s buldge, then rewind and watch one last time.
4. Beer, Wine, Liquor, ANYTHING with Alcohol — This was my mistake last year. Should not have watched this show sober. Who cares if it’s a Monday night? You are going to need it.
5. A Teenager — This is necessary for 2 reasons: 1) If you get caught watching, it’s not weird because you have the teen to blame; and 2) It’s nice to have a “translator” for these things so when the next great Disney star hype rolls across the stage, you have someone to tell you who the eff this person is and why you should care.
But go ahead and take my advice, don’t watch them. You’ll never, EVER get those two hours of your life back. Just come here on Tuesday and I’ll post all the goodies for you and we can make fun of how lame teenagers are. I mean, c’mon, these kids think Taylor is hotter then Rob. To that I say, bitches, please.
Where I got all my TCA goods: RPLife
August 9th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Love, love, love your blog! Yeah, I’ve said it before. You always crack me up. Thanks for making me laugh so early in the morning. Makes me forget about the mountains of laundry surrounding me, lol.
So glad I rediscovered your blog! You deserve an award yourself! I think Rob should give you one of his surfboards! And with that I will leave the funny, witty remarks to everyone else as my humor quotient is about 0 today, lol.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:00 am
First off, I LOVE your Web page!!! And secondly, you are right Teen Chice awards- who the heck cares!!!! I don’t think I can stomach that one at all, especailly Justin Bieber, seriously this kid got a record deal! I have seen it all!!! Thanks again
August 9th, 2010 at 10:46 am
I love your blog, you are funny as hell, that been said, the TCA suck, i’ve never watched them before and even if I love, lust, dream, um, you get my point about rob, not even him is able to make me watch that crap, seriously this award show is totally irrelevant and stupid.
i have to say that even if it’s crap, some recognition for RM is good, I love, love that movie and it deserves so much more….
August 9th, 2010 at 11:04 am
Hi,
I’m happy to see you surived the family reuion from hell. Been there, done that. So with that said, I know what you mean about the TCA’s. I needed your list last year.lol Thanks, now I don’t have to watch. I will get ALL the good stuff here. I love your # 3. Now you had to mention the “buldge”, I guess now i have stroll back to stare at it AGAIN.lol
August 9th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
I also would have loved 2 have ur list last year when I did suffer thru the TCAs just 2 catch a short glimpse of our Rob & was sober. Ugh. Never again. Ill get my fix from u! Was great 2 hear he won 4 Remember Me, he owned that character.
August 10th, 2010 at 12:17 am
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