Cosmopolis Book Club – Chap. 1: What the hell just happened?

I gotta post some GG Rob!

No, really. Someone please help me with understanding what is going on. As promised last week, I read the first chapter of Cosmopolis and I truly do not understand it. Yay! I love when I am able to keep my promises.

If you haven’t read yet, or don’t plan to read and want to be spoiler free, STOP READING RIGHT NOW! Do not follow the jump. You will be sad cause you will see spoilers.

However, if you are reading or are cool with spoilers, continue on…

Clearly this is one of those day in a life novels, which I already kind of got just from the description. But man, Eric is one weird dude to understand. He obviously has a lot of internal monologue that should be interesting to see put to the big screen. I can’t decide if he’s an asshole, or just misunderstood. I’m leaning toward more a prick then anything.

So the day begins in his ridic apartment, where he gets into his ridic limo to start his ridic day. All cause he wants to get a haircut. But of course, things stand in his way. Like the president being in town. Then running into his wife, who he seems to be acquaintances with, at best. I mean, they haven’t even consummated the marriage. I don’t know if I’m gonna find that believable for the movie. Cause if my hubs looked like Rob, he’d be lucky to ever walk again. That whole conversation was just odd, and then the wife just takes off. Hmmm.

The limo pulls up to a couple of potential hair places, but Eric walks up to an apartment and has sex with a woman. Good news… he seems to know her and this is an ongoing thing. She seems like kind of a tough lady, and she is supposed to be like 40, so there goes the continuing sexiness of seeing Rob with older women.

I think I was making this exact face while reading...

Once he leaves his sexy times, Eric is told a man is down. The man was killed on tv and I am slightly disturbed by how many times it says Eric watches it cause it sounds insanely gruesome. Like I may have to cover my eyes if they get crazy with it in the movie. And to talk about Eric getting turned on by the woman involved (I couldn’t tell if she was killed too) was a bit intense.

Let’s be honest. At this point, I am totally seeing why Rob took it. He couldn’t get any further away from Twilight, or really any movie he’s done so far. It’s def a man movie, not a movie that tweenies will be lining up to see. This movie is meant to build credibility with men, not us. Of course, he already has that from us.

Along the way, Eric picks up Jane, his chief of finance, in the limo. She was jogging when she was called to meet with him, so she appears to be barely dressed and sweaty. It’s her day off and she seems a bit pissed to be called, being a single mom and all that. She basically tells him the yen will fall, which somewhere along the way we know that Eric has big investments in.

Then the limo picks up the doctor, who proceeds to do a full check of Eric with Jane in the limo, which seems really awkward once the exam moves on to the prostate exam aka when the dr puts his finger in deep, dark place we shouldn’t talk about. Can I be honest? I really don’t want to see Rob get a rectal exam. There. I said it.

Jane and Eric continue discussing the yen, but then Eric notices how she grips the water bottle she is holding. He notes the sexual tension it represents. Then there is the whole monologue of Eric talking about Jane, the type of woman she is and sex. All this while the doctor continues the exam. The whole thing ends with the quote “I want to bottle-fuck you slowly with my sunglasses on.” And then, if I read it right, it sounds like they both orgasmed. Um, I read that part like twice cause I couldn’t figure it all out.

Jane leaves, basically telling Eric again to pull back on the investments in the yen. And she leaves with this final quote, which I love, “I am advising you in this matter not only as your chief of finance but as a woman who would still be married to her husbands if they had looked at her the way you have looked at me today.”

Right there, even though I am struggling to picture Rob as Eric, I know, KNOW he can give that look. I’ve seen it a million times. Hell, I saw it last night at the Golden Globes (which I plan to talk about a little bit more tomorrow).

Really, I don’t know how you all are coming along on this, but I am struggling. It’s a difficult book, especially since I mainly read fan fic and young adult lit. I’m really not totally sure what to think about it all. I want to like it, but let’s be honest, it ain’t my cup of tea.

But hey, I’ll push through it. The things I do for Rob.

What do you think? Are you digging it? Or is this as weird for you as it is for me? Are you able to picture Rob easily, or are you struggling?

Discuss below!

UPDATE!

In case you missed it, here is Rob talking about his reasons for joining Cosmopolis. Sounds like he agrees in the whole weird department…