Category Archives: Fan Fiction

January 3, 2011

How Did I Do on the 2010 Resolutions? Not Too Shabby!

By Amber

A new year and I am ready for it! And with a new year comes a new set of Rob Resolutions! However, I am putting some more thought into these so I ain’t gonna post ‘em till tomorrow. I figure I’m pretty safe and nothing too crazy will happen in the first four days of this year.

So first, while I am working on the 2011 resolutions, we gotta go back to my resolutions from last year and see if I made any of them happen. It’s been a crazy good Rob year for me, so I have a good feeling about this…

Can you see him?!? Items in picture are closer then they appear. Trust.

The ultimate resolution… meet Rob. But since I want to be borderline realistic with my resolutions, so I’m gonna settle with seeing the pretty in person.

MAJOR WIN! Glad I like to keep things realistic, cause I failed to meet Rob. ::sigh:: I put myself in all the right places, but all I found was Jason Segal and Jake Gyllenhaal instead. However, I did see him in person. It. Was. GOOD! I mean srsly, I highly recommend it for anyone cause the boy is so much prettier in person. I fangirled like a mofo. That was kind of the high point of my year. Not even lying!

Get TheShagDaddy to blog more.

Major Fail! I failed this one so hard. I tried and tried to get him to post, but he literally wrote like 2 posts this year alone and contributed to 2 others. All this after he promised us he would write one post a week and he hung us all out to dry. Liar, liar pants on fire. Please feel free to boo him on Twitter or in the comments.

Read more fan fiction.

Half fail! Funny thing is, I thought this was the one gimme on the list. It’d be easy peasy for my to fulfill. But after half the year was gone I started falling out of reading fan fiction and started reading more ::gasp:: real books. Weird, right? I mean, I still read fan fiction, but I only read the updates to the ones I’ve started. I can’t even tell you the last time I started a new one. I am still kinda shocked by this one, really.

Set a world record for the number of times I see Remember Me.

Fail! I can’t call this a major one because really, it wasn’t my fault. I saw the movie twice, which was good, but let’s behonest. I don’t think I could I have gone and seen that movie over and over and over again. The heart fail was way too much. I think I would have had to go to therapy if I’d have saw it too many times. But hey, I was still proud as I could be for Rob no matter what other people say!

I tried Rob, but the heartfail was just too much!

Sneaky like get a current real life friend to join me in the Robsession. I just want to see if I can use my mad ninja skills to sneakily get them in on all this.

Major Fail! I never ever really got ballsy enough to make this one happen. I just didn’t want to put myself out there, cause ya know, I didn’t want a real life friend to think I was a loon. In fact, most of my real life friends and family know I went to LA but have NO idea why. They really honestly think it was just a trip with girlfriends. Maybe one day I’ll tell them… but probably not.

Take a weekend to go set-stalking.

Major Fail! Srsly, I though this one was set to happen. TSD and I were totally going to go to Baton Rouge for a weekend just to see what we could find. And then, well, the year kind of slipped away from us. I still kind of want to do this. Not in a hard core way, but more in a “I’ll just traipse around town until I run into Rob kind of way.” Yep. That’ll do!

Continue to keep all this business away from my family.

MAJOR WIN! Still, no one knows. Other then my mom. But I don’t count her cause she is my mom. But srsly, it is all quiet with the rest of the fam. I thought for sure someone would figure out the LA trip, but nope! All is still quiet with them, and I plan to keep it that way!

Wow. I did AWESOME with my resolutions! Yeah, yeah… I guess technically I failed most of the resolutions, but I got the ones that truly mattered. Hiding the Rob bidness from my family and, of course, seeing Rob in person. BIG ups to me!

While I’m working on 2011 today, what do you all think I should strive to achieve this year? Duh, we know I need to meet Rob, but what else? What would you resolve to do when it comes to Rob?

8 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Eclipse, Fan Fiction, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson

December 20, 2010

Red Koolaid’s Fan Fiction Addiction Picks That Almost Weren’t…

By Amber

Congrats! If you are reading this your just survived the last weekend of shopping before Christmas. You deserve a reward, right? Time for some me time, just you, the reading device of your choice (I personally love my Nook) and fan fiction. Edward fixes everything. And I do mean everything. I LOVE Red Koolaid for taking the time to put together some fan fiction recs for us! Cause honestly, I was starting to run low. Enjoy!!

It’s winter in the northland and prime time for extended FF reading. One of the few things us tundra-dwellers look forward to — snuggling up on the couch with our computers and some hot FF. Recently, however, that very thing that keeps me going was seriously threatened. A poorly placed bottle of water got knocked over into my beloved MacBook Pro and reduced it to toast. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement. Yes, I had to resort to reading FF on my phone; tolerable, but just not the same. It was a sad week.

Friday night when I arrived home from work all depressed, the hubs was waiting for me. He said, “Let’s go buy you a new computer.” An hour later I had a shiny, new MacBook Pro. Yay. I knew there was a reason I married that man. So now I am trying to get caught up on my reading and the hubs is allowed free reign with the TV remote (for a while, anyway.) We’re very happy at my house. Note: The only remaining sadness is the loss of my extensive Rob porn collection. I hope I can count on you all to help me start a new one. (Amber Note: I keep my “collection” on an external hard drive just in case! Smartest thing I ever did…)

So, if you have some time to spend on the couch and your computer is up and running, here are my latest recs:

Confidence Man by OhMyWord

 

He could con me out of ANYTHING...

Edward is a con man, masquerading as college student Anthony, with the ultimate goal of winning Bella’s heart in order to swindle her out of millions of dollars she inherited from her mother. All their interactions are carefully plotted and executed and Bella is falling into the trap quite easily. She wants to use her money for good and thinks Anthony is helping her, but he is lining her up with all the wrong people who will take the money and run, Anthony included. But Anthony finds himself falling in love with Bella and can’t quite follow through on the scam. He is desperate to save her from the criminals he has been working for and find a way out for himself. Will Edward/Anthony do the right thing and will Bella see Edward, not Anthony, and forgive him? This one is at the end, so you don’t have to wonder for long.

 

The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking

You know how I love these professor stories! Bella is a wild-dressing, smart-alecky student who annoys the hell out of slightly geeky Professor Edward Cullen. When she is left by her friends at the bar without a ride home, the kind professor offers her a ride. (oh oh) She asks him up to her apartment for a drink and he finds himself saying yes. Edward’s sexual experience is very limited and he’s highly intrigued by the free-spirited Bella who makes no bones (ha) about wanting to jump his bones. And in a kind and sweet and non-threatening way, she becomes his teacher in the ways of love, err sex. Love the spunky hippie Bella and the goofy, but sincere and loving Edward. Sweet tea, baby.

The Bigger They Are by Lady Excalibur

Edward as Army man! Recently returned from his second tour of duty in Iraq and close to retirement from the military, Edward is not sure what’s next in his life. He’s single with no girlfriend, and no real plans. One night a young teen throws a rock at his car and breaks the windshield. Edward is furious and makes the boy call his mom, who turns out to be the lovely Bella, an Army widow with four young sons. As young Emmett works for Edward to pay for the windshield, Edward finds himself falling for Bella and her four crazy boys. Bella is still mourning the loss of her husband, the boys are not sure about mom bringing a new man into their lives and Edward is figuring out how to bring them all together into one happy family that he desperately wants. So good.

Bella? Marie? by Nyomi

Bella is a live-in nanny for Rosalie’s young son, Henry. Rosalie’s ex-husband, Edward, is one fine man, but seems cold and controlling. On her night off, Bella dresses up with blue contact lenses, make-up and a hot dress and goes to a club with friend Angela. Edward is there and not recognizing her, puts on the moves. Bella, flattered by his attention, tells him she’s “Marie” and after many drinks, ends up in his bed for a hot, sex-filled night. A few days later, Rosalie is off to Europe with a new boyfriend and Bella and Henry must spend two weeks with dad/Edward at his house. Bella is paranoid that Edward will recognize her a Marie, so she wear horn-rimmed glasses, has messy hair and sloppy clothes. Over the week, Bella discovers that Edward is really a nice guy and a great dad and Edward finds that Bella really cares about his son and has a hot body under all those clothes (he sees her in the pool in a bikini). But, is there something familiar about her?? Yeah, Bella finally confesses to being Marie and the bad news bears begins. Expecting some angst, but hoping it works out for the best.

All the Wild Horses by elusivetwilight

One of my fav authors of the Rain Season and Incubus Anomaly (which has a smashing ending BTW) has a new fic with Edward as a cowboy! A rugged, scruffy, leather smellin’ strong silent type cowboy. While she was away at college, Bella’s long-time boyfriend, Jake, found a new girl, got married and is having babies. Bella’s life consists of working at Fleet Farm and having a cat. Hmmmm But things are looking up, sort of. When she falls down in the parking lot at the grocery store and blows a tire on a deserted rural road, both times Edward mysteriously appears on a white, err brown horse to the rescue. We need to know more about this mysterious Edward. To be continued.

Last Tango in Forks by AwesomeSauce76

 

Shhhhh... names are unnecessary.

How did I miss this gem until now? Bang. Bella and Edward don’t even know each other’s names and they like it that way. Bella is engaged to Jake; Edward was married to Tanya, who recently committed suicide. He’s not exactly the grieving widower; she’s not exactly the committed fiance’. I think you know where this is headed. Hot lemons and cool music (see Edward’s ipod playlist) and a bit of angst thrown in just so they can “work it out.” Oh yeah.

 

The Mail Order Bride by Idygwynedd

Edward and Bella in the Wild West. Edward is a lonely rancher in Colorado. Bella is a spinster of 25 living in Virginia with her married brother. Desperate to have her own life, Bella answers Edward’s ad in the Matrimonial News and soon she is on a train to Colorado as a mail order bride. Edward likes the looks of her and she likes the looks of him, so within a day they marry. The naive Bella is a bit worried about Edward’s “snake” in her “valley,” but he is a very loving man and soon they are trying out Kama Sutra positions (yeah, kinda weird, but it adds some variety). Interesting details about life in the late 1800′s. Makes me glad as hell it’s all in the past. Great story.

For Whom The Bella Tolls by Cyrabear

Now that Incubus Anomaly is done, I needed a good vampire story. Edward is a little creepy in this one, in a hot kinda way. Bella wanders into a dusty, dark bookstore and meets the mysterious owner, Edward, who always seems to be hanging over her reciting erotic poetry. (Why does this never happen to me?) Bella can’t seem to get him out of her mind, probably because he hides in her closet and does naughty things to her while she sleeps. (Again,why does this never happen to me?) Oh, and he leaves more erotic poetry (in Italian( in her truck, her bed, etc. See how creepy hot this is? The Cullen family is on board to help Edward seduce Bella, but I think he’s doing just fine on his own, thank you very much. And so it goes… not sure where, but can’t wait to find out.

That’s it for now. Let’s just say I’m looking forward to a long-ass winter up here in the tundra, with my FF to keep me warm/hot and bothered.

8 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, Guest Blogs, Twilight

December 10, 2010

Jumping Rob, fan fiction, hair, strutting and sex eyes… Yeah, These Videos are Good.

By Amber

Do the videos get any better then they were this week? Well… yeah, but they don’t get much more diverse. Jumping Rob, fan fiction, hair, strutting and sex eyes… yeah, I got all that!

So for that I say, it was a good week!

Enjoy!

Jumping Rob! // Jump Around

YES! I’ve been waiting for this video! CoraleComics pulled all those crazy jumping Rob pics and put them in a video!! I love Jumping Rob so much, obviously since he made my holiday banner. I never want him to leave…

Rebelward Without A Cause

 

Have I told you all how much I love videos based on fan fiction? Cause I do. A lot. And then it makes me want to stay up all hours of the night and read fic. I haven’t read Dead Confederates yet, but after this video by ROBZSINGER1, it seems a little more likely that I will. Oh, and it’s kind of NSFW. Fair warning.

Robert Pattinson // Alors On Danse

Ooooo! Hair porn! I am in love! This video by SweetMelodyxxx is way too short for all the hotness contained! Gah. Hair, strutting, does it get any better?

Robert Pattinson // Can’t be Tamed

Aww, a “just the tip” vid for you! I’m pretty much posting this  other video by SweetMelodyxxx because of this look Rob has at :51. First off, have I seen that video before? Secondly, hot damn!

5 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, Fan Made, Rob Pattinson

November 10, 2010

Red Koolaid’s Fan Fiction Addiction Top 10 — Guest Post by Red Koolaid

By Amber

I love fan fiction. We all know this. And you all have been talking about it a LOT lately in the comments. And when Red Koolaid sent this to me, all I could think was “perfect timing!” And since there are so many goodies in her top 10 that I either have read or am I dying to read, I had to share!! Plus, I mean really, I can only stand so many set pics. Today, I am kind of sort of serious about that. I love them all, I just hate trying to catch up. So if you are looking for set pics, check Robsessed! If you want a little break from them, then keep on reading…

Ok, I’ve confessed on this international forum about my FF addiction. I can’t stop reading it, even though I take breaks now and then to read

My fave way of hiding the FF! Can you spot it?

actual books, like Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. But, sadly, said books don’t hold half the attraction that FF does. As Edward says in Twilight, “You’re like a drug to me… my own personal brand of heroin.” It’s kinda like that. Heroin…scary.

When I’m at work and my DROID sounds off to an incoming e-mail and I take a peek and see it’s a FF update, I get this sharp little pain, because I know that I will tempted to stop work and indulge. Don’t tell my boss, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I wait until lunch and read it on my phone. Sometimes I go home for lunch and fire up the Mac. I long ago quit trying to read on my work computer. Not only are we monitored, but the porno filter can’t handle the word “breast.” Sigh.

My friends either do not share my FF addiction or they can’t keep up with my habit. I have no one with whom I can discuss important details and questions. So I’m sharing here with you, anonymous people, because you’re like me. Hi. My name is Red Koolaid, and I’m an FF Addict.

I have accounts on fanfiction.net and twilighted.net. I check daily for updates. I search for recommendations and “most read” tags. I read about 15-20 stories at any one time. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of them all. I can usually tell after the first chapter if a story is going to make it onto my favs list. If it doesn’t pass the test — delete, delete. If it doesn’t update enough — gone. I can’t wait six months for an update. By then I’ve totally forgotten what it’s about. I do love the completed ones because I can reread them and don’t have to wait for updates. I keep a secret stash for when the others are not updating fast enough.

I sometimes do reviews. And I love it when the authors reply. It gives me a little thrill. I try to be respectful. I know what it’s like for people to critique your writing.

I do obsess about some of these stories. The angsty ones get to me. Like “The Red Line.” It gave me nightmares. I had to constantly remind myself that it’s a work of fiction. Seriously, I don’t have a lot of empathy, but wow. Just sayin’

Now, let me elaborate on my current top 10. These come highly recommended by me.

1. Matter of Trust by quietruby

Think thats his "O" face? Yeah. That's the "O" face.

Love, love, love this story. Mainly because it seems plausible and Bella is the older woman! Yes! Love that scenario.

Bella is a teacher who gets stuck in an elevator with handsome British actor Edward Cullen. He asks her for a date and a budding romance soon develops. Bella is overly wary, but finally gives in to her heart and her hormones and the relationship advances. Edward invites her to California for spring break to experience his world. Unfortunately, this causes some angst for Bella as she has to witness steamy love scenes on the movie set and jealous behavior when they are out in public. After declaring their devotion to each other, Bella returns to her teaching career only to be fired for racy media photos of her and Edward. Putting Edward on hold, Bella moves back home with her parents to determine what to do with her life — keep her career and lose Edward, or take the plunge into a new career, even at the disapproval of her family. Will Edward wait? Can their love survive? I can’t wait to find out.

2. Open to Interpretation by elvis4scilla

No Bella or Edward in this story, but Marisa is 42 (gasp!) and is hired as 25-year-old Rob Pattinson’s interpreter on a media tour. (Love these older woman stories.) Sparks fly as both try to resist the attraction to one another. Marisa doesn’t want to get hurt, but a wise gentleman counsels her to let the younger man (Rob) take charge. And so she does. This is a hot and heavy romance and Rob is charming and sweet with all his British quips and adorkableness. (Yeah, he needs a fag after a good shagging…) When Rob’s mom tries to put an end to the romance, he steps up and won’t allow it. One non-related scene that totally stands out in my head is when Rob’s dad, Richard, wears a speedo by the pool at Rob’s house. Ok. I admit I’m secretly in love with Rob’s dad, but I can’t get this picture out of my head …. LOL.

There are lots of ups and downs for Marisa, but Rob remains steadfast in his love for her and is not afraid to show it or stand up to his family and friends to defend it. Really love this Rob. And I’m so wanting to be Marisa.

3. Incubus Anomaly by elusivetwilight

This is my fav vampire story. Edward is an incubus who has sex with women in their sleep, cuts them with his sharp knife, drinks a pint and then leaves them with a pleasant dream. His lifestyle makes him an outcast from his family, who, you know, drink the blood of animals — yeh, yeh, yeh. Then he meets his neighbor, Bella, who kicks ass and takes numbers after her abusive marriage to Jake. Edward and Bella are drawn to one another (la tua cantante and all that) and Edward finds he just can’t do the incubus thing anymore — he only wants Bella; but Bella doesn’t want to be “owned”. She figures out the vampire stuff and has to decide whether she wants to head in that direction or not, and Edward has to deal with his family and the Volturi, who won’t put up with this human girlfriend crap. Such fun. We are at the last chapter and I am sad that it is ending. My fav Bella expression, “Jesus pole-dancing Christ.” I think that sums it up.

4. Late Night Encounters by kyla713

Just found this gem and it ruled my week. Edward is an ER doc, who, because of his busy schedule and devotion to career can’t get laid (I can totally identify since I work in healthcare). His buddy, Emmett, gives him the URL of a cyber sex site that he visits on a whim, and meets Bella, a drunk and horny architecture student. Their cyber sex is incredible and they soon are online every night. Mics and webcams enter the picture as well. When they finally meet in the flesh for a sexy week in NYC, there is lots of flesh and sex. Just when you thought things couldn’t get better, something unexpected happens and they start to question where their relationship is headed. What to do… what to do… Eagerly awaiting the

So this is 50 Shades? I am intrigued...

answer.

5, Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon

I don’t even have to say anything about this masterpiece. Hands down, the best FF EVER! Icy rules. If you haven’t read this, then you will never die happy. I lost a week of my life when I read it last year… and now when I get update alerts for the second part … I schedule time so I can savor every word. Yeah, it’s that good.

6. Raw & Rosy by tuesdaymidnight

This was my first venture into slash. I admit, I had to look up “slash” on urban dictionary.com. I was a bit wary of the whole thing (Biel’s video got me interested …. I happened upon it and couldn’t figure out why no Bella in the video, LOL) but I liked this story. Jasper wants to kick (and spank) Edward’s ass; and Edward tries to figure out why he likes Jasper to kick (and spank) his ass. The prom scene is gold. The story ends well … and I, for one, learned a lot. Enuf said.

7. Discovering You, Discovering Me by JSFazz

Oh, how I love nerdy Edward. (Ok, I love dominant Edward too). Here he’s a pharmacist, who works at the local Walgreens-type drug store in Forks. Bella needs a job and is hired as his assistant. Edward is easily intimidated by the locals, but a great kisser, and Bella soon can’t keep her hands off him. Can she help him overcome his shyness? Can Edward keep Bella satisfied? Will she get him out of those dorky high waisted Dockers and penny loafers and into ass-clinging jeans and Doc Martens? You can bet your viagra prescription on it … (p.s. this story is so sexy you won’t need it.) I love the nerd gets girl happy ending (well, it’s not over yet, but that’s what I’m hoping.)

8. The Gentleman from Washington State by Betty Smith

Politics at its best. Bella is an intern in the office of Senator Edward Cullen. He’s 10 years older and has a rep as a womanizer; she’s smart and virginal. Even though they both know it’s wrong — they can’t stop themselves. Edward’s involved in a nasty re-election race against Jacob Black, Bella’s ex-boyfriend. Can he keep this relationship a secret, or will it ruin his chances at re-election? Can Bella handle the political pressure? What will happen if Edward loses the election? Gripping…

9. The Red Line by WinndSinger

Edward is a sex slave. Now, normally that would be pretty hot. But this story scared the hell outa me and made my heart hurt. And gave me nightmares. Especially that Raven bitch. I am going to hunt her down and kick her ass for hurting my Edward. Bella is a psychology student looking for a subject for her thesis. One night she goes to a club with Rosalie and Alice and finds Edward in a cage. She buys him for two weeks for

I do love me some Professor Masen!

$20,000 to be her subject. He thinks its a game and plays along, until she gets him to open up about his real life, and then she tries to save him. She even brings Charlie into the picture, who isn’t quite sure about his daughter dating a sex slave. There is so much angst in this story and so many crazy-ass mean people that it’ll make you crazy. But hang in, cause it ends on a positive note, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same.

10. University of Edward Masen by Sebastien Robichaud

This was a great English lit course. Dante and Beatrice et al. Brought back my college days, and uh, I’ll confess that one of the reasons I love this story is because I, Red Koolaid, in RL, had a thing for my college professor, who was 8 years older than me and it was kinda taboo and hot. Yeah, I married him. But I digress. Edward starts out as a real asshole, very rude and demanding. He has issues. Angst, angst. Bella is kinda naive and virginal, but she’s tougher than she looks. This taboo relationship develops into a great love, but they are discovered and forced apart. Mixed and missed messages can’t seem to bring them back together and when they finally do reconcile, the damage is deep. Can Bella forgive Edward? Can Edward give Bella the time and space to rekindle her love for him? This story is complete, so you can read it again and again and again.

Ok, I know there are about 18,000+ other Twilight FF stories out there, that I haven’t read yet. I’m working on it. I do have a RL job (in healthcare) and I do have a RL husband to manage (above referenced former hot college professor). My time is limited. However, I am an addict and I still need my fix. So until the methadone arrives… if you’ve got something, hook me up.

31 comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, Guest Blogs

September 23, 2010

The Realities of A Fan Fiction Addition… — Guest Post from Red Koolaid

By Amber
I may or may not love Fan Fiction. Okay, I love it alot! And I LOVE this guest post from Red Koolaid on the reality of it all! Enjoy!

I came a bit late to the whole Twilight thing. It wasn’t even on my radar until March ’09 when during a devastating flood in my city, I picked up a 99 cent movie rental at the grocery store. I’d never heard of Twilight, but I was desperate for a distraction from my impending evacuation and I wasn’t sleeping anyway. Twilight saved my sanity. And Rob, yeah, he saved my sanity too. (Not to worry — me, the hubs, the cat and the house all survived.)

The moment we all fell in love...

Not long after, I bought the books, DVD and soundtrack. It was inevitable that Fan Fiction would follow. At first I was a big appalled at the whole idea. of FF. How could someone steal Stephenie Meyer’s characters and do these things with them? Honestly! Then I read  His Personal Assistant, by NorthernLights17 … nuff said. I entered the dark side and haven’t crawled out since and don’t plan on it anytime soon.

I love all the different scenarios for these stories … so creative. In my mind, Edward is always Rob. Bella is not Kristen. Sorry. (Author Note: In my head, I’m always Bella. I like it that way!) That’s just the way it is. Edward as hockey or soccer star really crack me up since Rob hired someone to help him learn to run, but this is fiction, right?

Anyhow, after you’ve read a lot of FF, you notice certain trends. Here are my observations. Maybe you can help me make sense of them.

Bella is always a virgin. How Bella can go through four years of college, and in some cases grad school, and still remain a virgin is beyond me. I personally don’t think this is possible.

Edward always wears boxer briefs. Always great details about Edward’s underpants. Always boxer briefs. Does he never take a day off and just wear boxers or go commando? Gotta keep the “junk” protected, I guess. I do like all this detail about Edward’s bbs though.. does Rob wear bbs (when he actually wears underpants)? Just asking.

Bella always wears designer stilettos. The girl is poor as a church mouse but somehow can sport fuckhawt shoes… oh yeah, they were “gifts.” My friends all buy me $800 shoes too, Every day.

Elevators are erogenous zones. Edward can’t keep his hands off Bella in elevators; even if it’s full of other people….hmmm. Why does this never happen to me?

Gotta make sure Bella is first!

Edward buys sexy underwear for Bella. Bella has very vanilla underwear that she obviously buys at KMart. Edward wants her in sexy designer lingerie. How does he always know “her size” exactly? I don’t see Rob buying lingerie. It seems like he has enough difficulty buying underwear for himself.

The sex scenes are formula. I think there is a “cut and paste” sex scene template on FF. But hey, why reinvent the wheel? It’s a process, right? And you know courteous Edward is always going to let Bella come first. Un huh.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Do you LOVE fan fiction? What was that first story that got you hooked? And don’t forget…. the now gone KStew411 did leave one heck of a little library of fic for you to check out. And there are some REALLY good ones in the mix!

31 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, Rob Pattinson, Twilight

June 28, 2010

This is the end, beautiful friend — @KStew411′s Final Post

By Amber

So. Here we are. This is my last post for Rob My World.

I’ve gotten a lot of questions in the last few weeks about where to get new fic rec’s. The number one place I find new stories is in the “favorites” list of the authors I am reading. Like a story? Check out the author’s profile and see what she’s reading. After that, I find a lot on The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster. Rec’s, discussion, author interviews–it’s an all around great site for ficsters. I also find a lot of stuff perusing The Writer’s Coffee Shop Library. The search function is great, and grows ever more comprehensive. Twilighted, too, has a nifty search feature from which I have culled many stories. Oh, and lest I forget, JAG at Random Acts of Rob has an excellent collection of rec’s herself; she rec’s every Sunday and she was my early fanfic dealer. I blame her for all of this. As for my rec’s–Amber plans to leave them up for a while. I love all of these stories. I can’t single any one out right now because I think you should read all of them.

Bestie has been my silent partner in this, emailing rec’s, demanding I read a certain story, picking apart updates and possibilities, mourning the end of MotU. She called me the dealer but really she was the one pushing my addiction and in turn, feeding you. Heart you lots, Bestie! And big ups to the followers who emailed rec’s and authors who asked that I read their stories. Without you all sharing your favorites, I never would have read as many great stories as I have. Finally, I cannot thank Amber enough for letting me write fanfic rec’s on her Roblog, and for generally being an awesome internet friend. Next time I’m in OKC, we’re getting coffee. (Amber note: I’m in!!)

To the authors I thank you for giving your time. There’s no money in fanfic and you all have busy lives from which you take time to entertain us with your talent and incredible imaginations. Thank you for sharing, for putting up with stories being reported and hags and hassle, for not bailing on your stories but instead persevering to give us an ending. There are some hugely talented writers out there and I hope that one day I buy a book with your name on it.

And of course, thank you to you, the followers and fellow readers who have kept up with these rec’s. I have loved getting to know you through fanfic, trading favorites, emailing back and forth, and tweeting with fellow obsessers. Without you asking, I never would have done this. I never read fanfic before this last year, nor ever thought about reading so much of it that I’d be able to do two rec’s a week for months and still not cover my whole favorites list. But it’s been a blast, and I will miss it, and you. This has been one of my absolute favorite parts of the 411 experience, thanks to all of you.

Read all of KStew411′s recs on her page!

11 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, FanFicton Reviews by KStew411

June 22, 2010

Leaving with a laugh — FF Recs from @KStew411

By Amber

The time has come. This week is my last set of fanfic recs for RMW. I will be writing next week, but I don’t plan on doing traditional recs, so I am winding up with this week’s recs. A couple more from the lighter side for you.

“Renfield and Chiclets” by katinki

This story kills me. Geeky scientist Edward has a massive crush on, and elaborate fantasy built around, his sexy boss Bella. This Edward is so intelligent, but he can barely relate to other people. His coworker Emmett drives him crazy with his boorish behavior, his closest friend is space cadet Jasper, and he is a self-described social pariah with a slightly disturbing fetish for blood. Namely, Bella’s blood. RAC is a super-smut story, so if you don’t like big ole pitchers of lemonade, this probably isn’t for you. If that sort of thing is your bag, however, RAC is a funny, smutty read with a heart. Edward is blunt to the point of painful and his social skills are atrocious. But as his relationship with Bella progresses and he begins opening up, his insecurities and nerves make him very lovable. His relationship with Bella opens the door to Emmett and even Alice–a supervisor in Edward’s pharmaceutical company he doesn’t much care for–and his transformation from walking encyclopedia to actual human is endearing. RAC has some of the most…creative…lemons I’ve come across and also one of the sweetest love stories. Edward and Bella’s relationship begins on one level and ends up somewhere else entirely. Edward’s reactions to getting in touch with his emotions is pretty priceless. The story is told in EPOV, so as readers we only know Bella as Edward sees her, but she comes across as a successful and confident woman. She encourages Edward to open up to life and she defends him fiercely when needed. RAC is a smutty, funny story with no angst and one of the best Geekwards I’ve found.

“Breaking Bella” by sixeightshuffle

Slow to update but 30 chapters in, “Breaking Bella” hits the right mix of humor and angst. First impressions are everything, as college students Edward and Bella find out. After their first meeting at a somewhat disastrous tutoring session, Edward thinks Bella is a big bitch and Bella thinks Edward is a prime asshole. The two determine to go their separate ways, but of course circumstances keep throwing them together and eventually they begin to alter their opinions. It’s not all easy, though. Bella attempts to apologize early on and Edward rebuffs her, which ends up justifying her initial impression of him. They proceed with this comedy of errors but slowly they become friends, and maybe, something more. Only problem is, even as Edward is falling for Bella, he’s dallying with his TA and Bella walks in at an inopportune moment, thus ending their budding relationship and setting them back to where they started. Generally “Breaking Bella” runs pretty light, with lots of sarcastic bantering and excellent music discussion between Edward and Bella, but this is a story about growing pains, and some mistakes and miscommunications occur. The point of view switches between Bella and Edward and it’s interesting to see how they each perceive events differently. Edward is kind of a typical clueless college guy, but he starts pulling himself together, though he may be too late… As for Bella, I really like her, but the last couple available chapters have been a bit frustrating. And thus the touch of angst. Still, this has been an enjoyable story, one I wish updated a bit more frequently, but it’s well worth the wait.

Don’t be too #sadpanda! All the recs will still be here for you to go back and relive!

1 comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, FanFicton Reviews by KStew411, Twilight

June 15, 2010

I refuse to get weepy and sentimental — FF Recs from @KStew411

By Amber

It’s not my scene. Suffice it to say, planning out my last rec’s is making me sad. So, I will instead say that I am obsessed with Sebastien Robichaud’s blog (author of University of Edward Masen), and that I am of the belief that SR is he. I thought that, but then the author-insertion in the outtake and a late chapter of UoEM has me sold. He’s a he, and I’d probably really like him in real life. As long as he would promise not to murder me and stuff me in a deep freeze. That’s the qualification for meeting any of you people in real life. Please don’t murder me and stuff me in a deep freeze. If for some reason you aren’t reading UoEM, congratulations, you’re the one. Get on that shizz.

“Discovering You, Discovering Me” by JSFazz

I really love this story right now. It’s only seven chapters in–lately I am rec’ing a lot of new stories, I know–but it kind of reminds me of The Unaccompanied Soul. Something about the tone, maybe. This is an all human story (I am off my AU tangent), about a post-collegiate Edward and Bella. Edward is a pharmacist, but he is painfully shy. And I don’t mean kind of awkward and shuffling-his-feet adorable. I mean that this Edward was the victim of consistent and awful bullying throughout his childhood and he is now withdrawn and largely silent. Bella on the other hand, is a bit more outgoing. She’s awkward and clumsy herself, her friends call her “Hurricane Bella”, but she is overall a kind, warm person. She returns to Forks after graduating from college, with Charlie recently deceased and she’s jobless to boot. Now saddled with student loans and keeping up an old house, Bella takes a job at the Forks Pharmacy. Guess who’s the pharmacist? Yep–shy, “frightened animal” Edward. Their interaction is really lovely, and the characterization of Edward is so subtle and detailed. He barely speaks, but the smallest moments allow such significant insight into his personality and past (the yearbook thing will kill you a little). Honestly, this story made me think of those kids I knew in school, but didn’t really know, who got picked on a lot. It made me wish I’d taken the time to actually speak with them, and be more considerate than just smiling “hello” in the hallway. Edward has clearly been deeply traumatized by bullying. The story hints at particular event, too, one that involves Emmett somehow and represents a significant change in Edward’s life. A little bit of mystery to unravel. DYDM isn’t super angsty, though. While I can definitely see the potential, I can also see that this story could just as well keep its light, thoughtful tone. Counteracting the tale of Edward’s malicious bullying is Bella’s clumsy presence. She knocks stuff over, dumps pink gunk all over Edward, and pratfalls constantly. The story is narrated in BPOV, and she makes for a dry, witty narrator. It keeps the story from sinking too much in Edward’s situation. Bella isn’t stupid; she feels real remorse over her sometimes careless attitude toward Edward as they grew up, but she doesn’t dwell either. She makes her apology and moves on, determined to know Edward the adult, to draw him out of his shell and help him realize his full potential. And the more Edward opens up, the more I like him. He may be shy and a terrible dresser, but he’s endearing and has a quiet charm. I love him. I love this story. I’ve re-read it a couple times already. I’m enthusiastic about where this one is going.

“GYNAZOLE” by Mrs.TheKing

This story also features Edward as a pharmacist, though the tone is considerably different. “Gynazole” may be the outright funniest fic I’ve ever read. It’s like Mrs.TheKing is just trying to be as outrageous as possible, and it’s working. I revisit this story each time something angsty bums me out and it makes me laugh every time. The plot in “Gynazole” is pretty straightforward: Bella meets Edward at the Target pharmacy when he fills her prescription for an embarrassing antibiotic related to feminine troubles. Edward has a tendency to talk a little too loud and Bella is easily embarrassed. They don’t get off on the best foot. But circumstances bring them back together, Bella develops a crush on the hot-if-loud pharmacist, and chaos ensues. I mean literally, CHAOS ensues. At one point Emmett is flinging around a cock ring. When I say this story is ludicrous, I mean it in the best way possible. In the way that Monty Python is ludicrous. It’s just totally out there, completely committed to going as far as possible for the laugh, and wholly hilarious. Emmett is Bella’s neighbor and kind-of friend, Jasper works at Target and may or may not be French, and Alice is obsessed with fashion but always manages to be just behind the latest trends. In the middle of it all is poor, blushing Bella, trying to keep it together. And did I mention they tweet? Bella has created an online persona for herself which doesn’t precisely reflect her reality, and when Edward joins up he insists on calling it “the Twitter”. The drunktweeting part especially cracked me up. This is a quirky, hysterical story featuring a couple of awkward lovebirds who generate chemistry and humor. I have been hunting down funny fics recently and “Gynazole” is hands-down the funniest one I have found so far.

I’m going to seriously get my act together and update KStew411′s FF review page. No, seriously. I promise.

2 comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in Fan Fiction, FanFicton Reviews by KStew411, Twilight

June 8, 2010

Don’t panic — FF Recs from @KStew411

By Amber

Favorite words from a favorite book (name that reference). A lot of questions about whether or not I intend to continue doing fanfic rec’s after KStew411 goes dark on July 1. The answer is no. The final rec’s will be posted on 6/29. I do believe Amber intends to leave the library of rec’s up for a while, though. (Amber note: Yes, yes I do!) I have really enjoyed writing these fic rec’s, and many thanks to Amber for hosting this weird obsession of mine. And now, for the last of the AU rec’s.

“Ethan Church” by dryler

Complete and only 13 chapters, “Ethan Church” is a sweet, intriguing read. Bella is a wee bit older, in her twenties, and she is a professional translator. She is approached by the reclusive author Ethan Church to write his biography. At first she declines, not considering herself a writer and also because she doesn’t particularly like his depressing novels. They affect her too much; just reading Church’s words makes Bella feel like she is losing control. But the offer is repeated and eventually, on a weird whim, Bella gives in and goes to meet with Church at his estate outside Seattle, Ferndale. There she finds Adelaide, the housekeeper, who has known Ethan Church nearly her whole life. And Church himself is an old man–not at all what Bella was expecting. Things at Ferndale are a little odd. Bella feels watched, she hears rumbling in the night, finds a book she has translated pulverized as though someone hit it with great force. And then Bella sees the strange, beautiful man in the garden one night. I think you can see where this is going. The relationship between Edward and Bella is given an interesting twist as dryler attributes a physiological reaction to the idea of “mates”. So often people talk about Edward and Bella mating and there’s no real consequence for it. In EC, however, it’s a physical reaction in both Edward and Bella, a compelling force they can’t control. Edward gives a nice account of underestimating the bond between mates because while he knew mated vampire’s thoughts, he couldn’t fathom the emotional connection between them. EC unwinds as Bella unravels the mystery of Ethan Church and the man she meets in the garden. It’s poignant and mysterious and a beautifully written novella, well worth a couple hours to read.

“Entwined” by La.Tua.Cantante.83

I’m going to do my best to get you hooked on another new fic (only 7 chapters), but it’s worth it. “Entwined” is an AU set in Forks, with Bella in high school alongside the Cullens. However, in this universe Edward fled after encountering her in biology and has been gone for six months. Then Edward decides to return home, and then, as he is running back home, he encounters a car accident late in the night. What should he find but Bella Swan, injured and dying. Of course, Edward’s first impulse is to bite but at the last second he shifts his intent and bites her to turn her. He then takes her home with him to suffer through her change with her. So far, “Entwined” is told in Edward’s point of view, which only adds to Bella’s mysterious ways when she wakes up a vampire. Like canonical Twilight, Edward can’t read her mind and Bella is an unusually self-contained newborn. But LTC83 takes that concept much further than Stephenie Meyer ever did, creating a shy, reserved Bella who is sweet and gentle despite being a newborn vampire. Poor Jasper, he doesn’t understand her at all and it makes him nervous. He also can’t get a lock on her emotions, suggesting her ability as shield will be a little more powerful in this version than in real Twilight. The Cullens are amazed by Bella’s ability to channel and control her newborn emotions, but they are also aware that she is hiding something from them. Meanwhile Edward is struck with guilt for changing Bella but is also fascinated by her, while remaining completely oblivious to the true nature of their relationship. “Entwined” is setting up to be a bit of a mystery with Bella’s secret and the reasons behind her ability to function so normally even as a newborn. In Breaking Dawn, Meyer writes off Bella’s vampiric maturity as merely a side effect of her making the choice to become a vampire, but I think things will be a wee bit more complicated (and interesting) in “Entwined”.

Just to add to this, here is my statement about the recs that I posted last week:

Since you all follow @KStew411, you may have seen her tweet that they are retiring the account on July 1. This also means that as of July 1, she will no longer be adding any new recs or reviews on fan fiction to this site. I know, I know. I thought about trying to find another friend to do it, but decided that I’ll just leave that page up (a little memorial to 411 if you will) so everyone can still refer back to it until Breaking Dawn is complete. Because after that point, assuming I am still here, I will begin to move away from Twilight and keep everything very Rob-centric. And at that point, I will make the decision whether to leave it or not. We have plenty of time till then, so continue to enjoy it!

So no worries! These recs will be here for a long time still, long enough for you to read them all, I am sure. :)

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June 1, 2010

And we’re back to this again — FF Recs from @KStew411

By Amber

Remember that time I was so busy I was barely eating or sleeping? Yeah. That again. More alternate universe rec’s this week.

“Metaphysics” by Anais Mark

“Metaphysics” is a Twilight destroyer. It’s one of those AU fics that reaffirms my complete inability to tolerate real Twilight anymore. This is a story, like La Canzone and Dead Confederates, that has been through several re-readings and picking aparts. It’s mysterious and cerebral and complicated. The story opens in 1688 in Carlisle’s point of view. He’s in London, attempting to live among humans, and he’s having a bit of a problem with one Sophie Copeland. She seems to have discovered his secret. The specifics of Carlisle’s relationship with Sophie, and her uncle William, Carlisle’s friend, are revealed in short sections scattered throughout the story. At present, there are still many questions about the precise nature of their relationship and what happened to sever it completely. In the present day, Bella Swan is a twenty-four-year-old graduate student at Queen Mary University in London, studying the poet Sophie Copeland. Aye, there’s the rub. Bella is, seven years removed from the initial danger of the Cullens, poking her nose into trouble once again. Because Carlisle corresponded heavily with both Sophie and William, prominent intellectuals of their day, and his secret remains buried in that correspondence. And here is Bella to find out, at long last, why Edward Cullen was always such a prick to her in high school. And poor Edward, who overcame both his bloodlust and lust lust for Bella, who successfully managed to remove himself from her sphere, only to be thrown together with her once again. And this time, he just can’t stay away. I love “Metaphysics” for not only its high-brow plot (the lit major in me adores all the references), but its twisting of Twilight canon. Jacob and Bella have grown up some, but Jacob is a werewolf. The Cullens reflect their canonical characterizations, but everyone is more interesting. Carlisle especially benefits from the 1688 flashbacks and seeing how he coped in the early days of his second life as he adjusted to being around people. This is a story that demands attention to detail for there is so much going on in subtle moves throughout both timelines. These Cullens will charm you, and this Bella, more mature and independent, will draw you into a complex and intriguing story.

“Bite to Break Skin” by Jillian Landers

New-ish fic, only nine chapters in, but trust me, you’ll want to get in on the ground floor with this one. BTBS follows the original Twilight plot a bit more closely than “Metaphysics” does–Bella is in high school in Forks–but it, too, takes a vastly different tack with the Edward and Bella story. Here Bella is human (or is she?) and has been adopted by the Cullens. She is aware that they are vampires, but she has been living with them for years as “one of them”, even if she isn’t really one of them. While Bella is attending high school with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper, Alice and Edward spend much of their time traveling around the world. In fact, Edward spends so much time travelling that Bella has never met him, unless one counts the maybe memories/maybe dreams she has from her early childhood. The Cullens have known of Bella since she was a tot, and there is a strange circumstance that surrounds Bella, but I don’t want to spoil it here. Just know that I have theories. Now seventeen, Bella isn’t quite as willing to go along with the Cullens’ blithe excuse that Edward and Alice just really really like to travel and she starts baiting Edward when he returns home. Inevitably the two meet, and the chapters from Alice’s and Edward’s points of view shed some light on why Edward has been so doggedly avoiding Bella all these years. Still, fate is fate. On her seventeenth birthday the Cullens offer Bella the choice to be changed, but Edward, of course, interferes. And this is the crux of the story. The Cullens want one thing, Edward another, and here’s Bella stuck in the middle. This Bella is pretty feisty, though, and she keeps Edward on his toes. So far this is an interesting, not super angsty AU that has left me waiting impatiently for the next chapter.

We got tons more fics for you to read on KStew411′s FF page!

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