Alright, so Amber does not have any internet access or she’s plain lazy but either way she has asked me to guest blog. This isn’t going to be my Eclipse blog but one of equal interest I’m sure. This is entitled How I lost my wife to Twicon and became a single parent for 4 days. (thanks to @vickybonnett for the idea)
You would think that I lost Amber to Twicon on Thursday when she left for Dallas but actually it happened months ago when she asked if she could go. I remember it clearly too, it was mild April night and I was minding my own damn business when suddenly out of nowhere (not really because all she talked about was Twilight) Amber starts talking about Twilightapalooza. I was like, “Fantastic more Twilight crap” (I hadn’t started secretly reading the books at this point, but I did enjoy the movie) and heaved a heavy sigh and said how much is it without caring about the details. “$255 is that all, sure go ahead and pay for it all at once and make sure you spend all you want on extras that might be offered too.” I believe that was my response to the answer of my question…at least that’s how I remember it. All right fine I actually said, “$255 DOLLARS?! ARE YOU NUCKING FUTS?!!”
Well, it turned out that payments could be made to ease the pain of it all. Then, Amber said she would use her money she made making wedding invitations from her website. After that I sure didn’t give 2 left shits how much she spent at her fangirl festival (no offense to anyone, but you know you squeee’d more than you should have).
Legs...that is all
So from that moment on I had to hear about every next great thing that was happening in Dallas; ooohh, Sam Bradley’s going to be there, Jackson’s band 100 Monkeys will be performing, damn it I can only meet and oogle two of the cast member please help me decide, and it just kept going. I’m sure there was more but I’m totally awe..what for it..some at not paying attention to Amber..true story.
Now let’s skip to this past Thursday…Amber has left for Dallas along with Myria and I’m so stoked to watch a 2 and 4 year old by myself for 4 days (intense sarcasm there). Not really too bad since they are in daycare whilst I’m at work but as soon as I got home with the kiddos the shit hit the fan. Almost quite literally because my son Joey did not want to go to his T-ball game and I sent him to his room to calm him down and 10 minutes later when I went to get him, he had dropped a huge one in his shorts. Joey won that round because he did not go to his game but he did get to know his room very well that night. Saraben wasn’t bad at all, just kind of weird because she kept licking the walls in the play room. I mean seriously wtf is that about?
No Rob pics this blog...theshagdaddy has spoken
Friday was a lot better, nothing exciting happened at all. Both kids stayed up way past their bed times and I was able to Twitter most of the night in peace. However, I had no idea what was going on with Amber except when someone in her group tweeted about it. For all I knew she had become Sam’s new plaything helping him carry his shit around. I do know that she managed to stay fully clothed though which I suppose is a good thing. I finally heard from Amber on Saturday morning, she had that voice that you get from drinking and squeeeing at British guys all night. She was telling me anecdotes but I wasn’t really listening I was too busy looking at my new Pocket Edward that had arrived in the mail. (seriously)
So Amber will be returning home on Sunday after spending some quality time with her TwiFriends (that works for both Twilight Friends and Twitter Friends). She got to drink, meet hot guys, make fun of ridiculous fans and their clothes and buy souvenirs…and I got to clean the house…yippee.
what it is men love about Twilight. If you have not read it yet, then you should read it now before proceeding. We can wait.
