I’ve partnered up with the always amazing and snarky KStew411 to offer you all some great fan fiction reviews and recommendations! She is providing the recommendations, I’m just giving her the space to do it! I hope you love these! And you best start following KStew411 on Twitter or I will hunt you down and find you…
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Main Menu of Smut
A Betting Man
A Chance Encounter
Angel Eyes
Art School Confidential
Bare
Bella Swan: Zombie Killer
Bite to Break Skin
Bright Like the Sun
Burn and Shine
Caravaggio
Carpe Noctem & Fiat Lux
Clipped Wings & Inked Armor
Commission
Company Loves Misery
The Dark Side of the Moon
Dickopotamus
Dead Confederates
Dying By Degrees
Edward Wallbanger
Elemental
Ethan Church
Entwined
Eye Contact
Facebook Friends
Failure to Thrive
Guardian
The Gentleman from Washington State
I Hate You With An Insurmountable Passion
His Personal Assistant
How to Save a Life
If This is Fate
I Hate Myself for Loving You
Incubus Anomaly
Ithaca is Gorges
Just Like Them
Labor of Love
La Canzone della Bella Cigna
Laid Bare
Last Rites
The Letter
Loner
The Lost Boys
Love in My Box
Master of the Universe
Metaphysics
The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores
Mr. Horrible
My Yes, My No
The Naked Guy Upstairs
She’s Royal
Sleepers, Awake
The Rain Season
Relative Wind
Retail Therapy
Tropic of Virgo
Wide Awake
The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep
Unaccompanied Soul
University of Edward Masen
The Vampire in the Basement
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A Betting Man” by mybluesky
This is one of those stories I picked up when there were just three chapters and I gave it some time to see how it would go. Now fourteen chapters in, this is one of my favorite WIP stories. I get excited when it updates because I can’t wait to see where it goes next. This story gives us a seriously manwhorish Edward. It opens up with Bella and James splitting up–after two months of not putting out, James unceremoniously dumps Bella. While out with her friends, Rosalie and Jacob, shortly thereafter, Jacob overhears a conversation in the men’s room of the club. James has just bet his friend Edward Cullen that Edward can’t get Bella Swan to sleep with him in two weeks. Edward takes the bet.
Ugh! I know, right? So gross.
Never fear–Edward isn’t totally without conscience. He’s just handsome and rich and spoiled. He doesn’t have to work for girls, so he doesn’t take James’s bet seriously, thinking it will be no problem to get one of James’s tarts to sleep with him. But then he meets Bella and realizes she isn’t James’s usual type. As for Bella, she is fully aware of what Edward is doing, thanks to Jacob’s warning, but she decides to play along to both punish him for his arrogance and also because she needs a date to Jake’s wedding in two weeks. So when Edward approaches her she accepts his invitation for a date, thinking if she can tolerate him for two weeks she’ll be set for the wedding. Kind of a thin plot point, but this story is more humor than angst, so I’ll roll with it. Meanwhile she has Rosalie and Jake egging her on, and when Edward’s best friend Emmett joins the fray, Bella sets about toppling Edward’s orderly OCD world. As for Edward, he does have moments of self-loathing, especially as he gets to know Bella and realizes she’s not like the usual skanks he dates. This story is all about the unresolved sexual tension as Bella resists Edward so he won’t win his bet, and Edward begins backing away from Bella because maybe he doesn’t want to win it, either. There are pockets of heaviness, especially in the last chapter where drunk Bella flat-out calls Edward out on his bad behavior toward women. But generally this story is a funny, sassy battle of the sexes. I’ve been enjoying it immensely the last couple of months, and I think you will, too.
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“A Chance Encounter” byerinbatt
No, I am not rec’ing this story just because I’m e-friends with Erin. In fact, her story has been unfairly pushed back several times simply because I didn’t want to treat it special or anything, so…sorry about that, Erin. But, at long last, here it is, “A Chance Encounter”. You all know I’m pretty harsh on alternate universe stories. You have to bring something really fresh to the table to hold my interest. ACE delivers, especially in its characters. It’s a spinoff of New Moon in which Laurent couldn’t quite control himself in the meadow and the wolves were a smidge too late, but not *too* too late. Jacob carries the bitten Bella off, she changes into a vampire and is essentially abandoned, left in her new life all alone. And of course, being Bella, she really believed Edward in the forest, so she doesn’t search for the Cullens. Instead she takes up the life of a nomad, and nearly fifty years later, she has, well…a chance encounter. I think you can see the basic plot, yes? Bella’s shield has some intriguing properties which allow her a unique perspective on Edward. When she learns that he had a relationship with Tanya after he left her in Forks, Bella flips out, justly calls out the Cullens for abandoning her and allowing Edward to abandon her, and then she runs. And so begins the action. Edward still can’t hear her mind, so he has to try tracking her, and we all know Edward isn’t much of a tracker. So he turns to the Volturi for help, and here the story really gets interesting. Of course Aro is interested in Bella for her gifts, but it’s Demetri that really sticks out. This is a great Demetri. In turns frustrating, helpful and heartbreaking, the tenuous friendship that grows between he and Edward is actually more interesting than Edward and Bella at this point. I’m cheering as hard for Demetri to find some happiness as I am for Edward to find Bella. Also, ACE has one of the greatest AU original characters I’ve ever seen in Lethia, a nomad in the Brazilian rainforest with a scary and powerful gift. She only comes in for one chapter but geez is she effective. Forget Jane. Lethia is easily the most frightening vampire in the Twilight universe. Between Edward chasing Bella all over the world, determined to beg for forgiveness, and Demetri and Lethia, ACE is an intriguing and inventive AU, well worth a read.
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“Angel Eyes” byRaeCullen
This is one of those stories that had been popping up in my searches for new fics for a while and then one day I caved and read it. And when I told Bestie about it she went, “Really?” and I said, “Yes, really.” “Angel Eyes” is the story of typical college guy Edward falling for a not so typical Bella. Popular frat boy Edward hears a laugh in a coffee shop and is captivated by the pretty girl it belongs to, but he doesn’t introduce himself. Then he sees her in the park one day, and he begins keeping an eye out for the pretty girl with the melodic laugh. He notices her talking to his frat brother, Emmett, so of course he asks Emmett for an introduction. Emmett totally shuts him down. Despite Emmett’s warnings, Edward approaches her one day in the park, and that’s when he realizes that Bella is blind. This is a pretty light-hearted story, but it deals with the issue of blindness in a realistic way. Bella has been overprotected her whole life, but she is capable of living her own life. Her conflicts with Emmett are exactly the sort of things you would expect an older brother to do for and about a younger sister he sees as unbearably vulnerable. And Edward’s initial reaction is probably pretty typical too–he’s shocked and unsure if he wants a relationship with a “blind girl”. But of course, it’s Bella, so he pursues her anyway. His thoughts on their first date are interesting. He goes from mildly embarrassed that Bella uses her cane to angry that everyone stares at her to annoyed to realize even if she wasn’t blind they’d stare anyway because she’s beautiful. Overall this is a sweet story with no heavy angst, but Edward does have a prickly relationship with an overbearing Carlisle, so the potential for drama exists. Also, there’s much allusion to some kind of incident during Edward’s freshman year–the reason Carlisle is so controlling now. Edward is probably right to be nervous about introducing Bella to Carlisle–he seems like the kind of psycho-planning father who has his son’s wife all picked out. “Angel Eyes” is right at the cusp of the interesting stuff happening, so get caught up and give RaeCullen some love for this sweet, endearing story.
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“Art School Confidential” by farkle
Art student Bella is derailed by life model Edward. The end. No seriously, there’s more to the story. When Edward models nude for Bella’s painting class, she finds a new muse. He agrees to keep modeling for her (naked Edward, yay!), and shenanigans occur. Everyone is an art student except for Edward, who is a recent college graduate/couch surfer, and Rosalie, who is a business student who teaches knitting to Emmett. Classic. There’s some dramz in Edward’s past (as per usual), and his pals Jasper and Emmett are always warning Bella away from falling for him for unexplained reasons. Clearly, there is a specter looming over Edward, but as yet all we readers know is that he takes mysterious trips to Santa Barbara. Bella is pretty kickass, if clinging hardcore to the belief that she can’t have a serious art career and a family (sadly, I would tend to agree). She has that dogmatic way of thinking of which only college kids are capable. So between her own fear of being sidetracked from art and everyone warning her away from Edward, Bella does a pretty decent job keeping a lid on her lust. No lemons thus far! And Edward clearly likes Bella, but seems unwilling to involve himself, also. I like this story for the hijinx. Midnight matinees of Rocky Horror Picture Show, references to a performance piece in which Emmett and Bella are naked, Emmett in general. Though her story takes a kind of sad twist, Jessica Stanley is such a poser she’s hilarious, with her crap 3-d mobiles and thinly veiled pickup lines to Edward. Bellward are pretty much as Bellward always are, but Jalice and Rosett bring the lolz. PS: Edward rides a vintage Triumph. FuckHAWT.
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“Bare” by stella luna sky
I like this story lots. Clearly, as I am recommending it. But I like it so much that I have gone back to re-read it 3 times since I first read it. It’s AU/AH. Edward is troubled—of course—and is an artist. Nice touch—like Paintward lots. Bella, despite having that “you don’t see yourself very clearly” attitude about herself, is happy and content with who she is. I like the dynamic of a happy, strong Bella drawing troubled, introverted Edward out of his shell. That doesn’t mean Bella is perfect. She has self-esteem issues and needs to work on standing up for herself, but despite that she isn’t a wallower and she doesn’t take Edward’s crap. The exact nature of Edward’s issue is unclear. He refuses to paint Bella for some reason, but if you read this you can make some educated guesses as to why that is by the last available chapter. This Bellward kills me. Edward isn’t a virgin but he’s not a manwhore either. He’s had a serious relationship in his past, but he still has some anxious-high-school-boy issues. He knows more than Bella, who is a virgin as per usual, but that’s not saying much. They’re awkward and exploratory and sweet, like most young relationships. There’s a really funny incident involving a sheet (line: “…oh that’s fucking sick, it just touched me!”). Emotionally, Bella is definitely further along than Edward. He’s prone to freaking out so hardcore he can’t even speak, and for unknown reasons he smashes his piano benches. Bella is the only one who can reach him when he gets like that, and their interactions using a notebook or Edward’s paint palette are what ground this story. In one facet of their relationship, Edward leads and teaches Bella, but in the other it’s up to Bella to make Edward human again. It creates a nice balance where they each need something specific some from the other in order to be the best possible version of themselves. There’s just enough mystery about Edward’s past and why he won’t paint Bella to provide intrigue, and the Bellward relationship is just complicated enough to make you wonder how it’s going to play out as the issue of Edward not painting Bella becomes a real problem (I am guessing it’s going to become a real problem), but it’s also light and fun enough to be entertaining. The angst is very light here. Beyond Edward’s past, there’s really not any angst here at all. Read “Bare”, love Paintward, embrace “yellow is sorry”, and watch Bella unwind Edward’s fucked up psyche. I, for one, want to know why he keeps breaking his piano benches.
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Bella Swan: Zombie Killer” by Kristen Nicole (recommended by@auntapey)
Um, I kind of love this fic. I want to fix it a candlelight dinner and then listen to it talk about its hopes and dreams while I rub its feet. I would do this fic’s laundry. You all know how I feel about zombies. They are an inevitable plague and we must all be prepared to deal with the onslaught of undead. So this fic being about Bella and Edward fending off the zombie apocalypse? Please. Am sold. I once said it would be cool if someone wrote a fic wherein the Cullens were zombie hunters. Kristen Nicole went one better. She made Bella the slayer of revenants. This Bella ROCKS. Sarcastic, tough, caustically funny, she deals with the zombie apocalypse about as well as one could hope. Which doesn’t mean she’s all, “Yay! Let’s kill zombies!” She’s just trying to survive. She feels grief but can’t stop running to mourn. She’s scared but she can’t give in to fear; she has to care for her little brother. The driving force of the story is that Bella must protect and preserve her baby brother. While fleeing the zombies (on a tandem bike!) Bella and her brother, Tyler, come across a grocery store harboring a few other survivors, captained by Edward Cullen. Or should I say, “Nerdward”? Yes, this Edward is nerdy. He wears science-humor tee shirts. He likes Aliens and is clearly having Sigourney Weaver-fantasies about zombie-killin’ Bella. He recited Flight of the Conchords’ dialogue, which is so awesome my head could explode just thinking about it. But if you know your zombie lore, you know it’s the nerdy ones who end up saving the day. To date, Bella has pretty much saved everyone’s ass three times over, but don’t count out Edward’s ability to ride to the rescue. He’s an MIT math genius and sci-fi freak. I’d bet even money he figures out how to defeat the zombies. In as much as one *can* defeat a ravening mob of brains-hungry undead.
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“Bite to Break Skin” by Jillian Landers
New-ish fic, only nine chapters in, but trust me, you’ll want to get in on the ground floor with this one. BTBS follows the original Twilight plot a bit more closely than “Metaphysics” does–Bella is in high school in Forks–but it, too, takes a vastly different tack with the Edward and Bella story. Here Bella is human (or is she?) and has been adopted by the Cullens. She is aware that they are vampires, but she has been living with them for years as “one of them”, even if she isn’t really one of them. While Bella is attending high school with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper, Alice and Edward spend much of their time traveling around the world. In fact, Edward spends so much time travelling that Bella has never met him, unless one counts the maybe memories/maybe dreams she has from her early childhood. The Cullens have known of Bella since she was a tot, and there is a strange circumstance that surrounds Bella, but I don’t want to spoil it here. Just know that I have theories. Now seventeen, Bella isn’t quite as willing to go along with the Cullens’ blithe excuse that Edward and Alice just really really like to travel and she starts baiting Edward when he returns home. Inevitably the two meet, and the chapters from Alice’s and Edward’s points of view shed some light on why Edward has been so doggedly avoiding Bella all these years. Still, fate is fate. On her seventeenth birthday the Cullens offer Bella the choice to be changed, but Edward, of course, interferes. And this is the crux of the story. The Cullens want one thing, Edward another, and here’s Bella stuck in the middle. This Bella is pretty feisty, though, and she keeps Edward on his toes. So far this is an interesting, not super angsty AU that has left me waiting impatiently for the next chapter.
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Bright Like the Sun” by dryler
Don’t worry, this story isn’t nearly as angsty and dark as The Vampire in the Basement. In fact, this one is hardly angsty at all. It’s an all-human story, and it keeps the canon function of the Cullens being a foster family, but with a very unique spin. The reason the Cullens stay out of the sun took me by complete surprise. Bella moves to Forks, as per usual, and weird, creepy Edward Cullen saves her from the careening van. Except he breaks her arm in the process, and so ends up driving her to school every day. And then Bella finds out that Edward isn’t so weird and creepy after all, just shy and misunderstood by the town at large, thanks to his tendency toward pyromania. Of course this means Charlie is strongly against Edward being around Bella in any capacity, so one of the central conflicts of the story is that Bella is deceiving Charlie in order to be with Edward. The other major conflict is that Edward, thanks to his circumstances, has been rendered pretty socially inept, and so moves at a snail’s pace in terms of courting Bella. She’s all, “Let’s make out,” and he’s like, “Let’s watch Spaceballs.” Watching never-had-a-boyfriend-before Bella and never-had-a-friend-before Edward come together is awkward and funny and frustrating. But all in a good way. In a really cool turn, Carlisle is a bit out of character. He’s lighter, cheekier, with a ready wit. The whole story (to this point), is pretty light, but Carlisle in particular brings some delightful levity to the plot. The way he treats Bella in the hospital is hilarious. Since I’m a closet Carlisle-lover, I always love a story that brings a unique spin to his character. But the real heart of Bright Like the Sun is watching Bella and Edward mince their way through social awkwardness, misunderstandings, pyromania, and their painful mutual shyness to get together. I can see several ways for this story to take a darker, moodier turn, but so far it’s been pretty light reading with a feisty Bella narrating and an adorable, awkward, pyromaniac Edward starring. And in case you can’t tell, I totally love Pyroward.
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“Burn and Shine” by pulsepoint
Dark Edward and naïve Bella cross paths in the Clallam County police station and their disparate worlds collide. This is a freaking awesome story. Bella is a college student at a fictional liberal arts college in Port Angeles. Charlie died several years prior, in the line of duty, and Renee seems to be permanently absent as well, though it’s not yet clear exactly where she is. Bella is a sweet kid, a nice girl, all those things. She’s young and naïve and tries to be kind, which of course means that she will rub Edward wrong in every way possible. For this Edward is an ex-con, veteran of multiple prison stints and regular law breaker extraordinaire. He is cynical, jaded, antisocial–everything you would expect from a career felon. Except… Edward has survived a terrible childhood. Abused from the earliest age, Edward’s body is a road map of scars. He recounts growing up in squalor, and hints at possible sexual abuse, as well. I do not love stories that take that turn, however, as of right now it’s mostly a suspicion in Bella’s mind, but it seems pretty clear Edward’s mother was doing something awful to him beyond beating him. Frowny face. So why tolerate all this angst and pain? Because this is a beautiful Edward. He’s damaged and deals with crippling anxiety attacks, especially when faced with an irate female, but in the next moment he’s breaking and entering or “handling” Bella. He tries to steer clear of her, of course, but goody-goody Bella won’t back down. She stands up to him, sometimes to disastrous effects, sometimes to lemony ones, and she refuses to run away when he tries to scare her off. If I have any complaint about this story it’s that maybe everyone is a little hard on Bella–I don’t think she’s as judgmental as some of the characters accuse her of (that role belongs to Rose). She’s just really naïve and sheltered and has no frame of reference for dealing with someone of Edward’s ilk, which leads to a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication. Burn and Shine also features the greatest. Jasper. EVER. I have never loved Jasper more than I have here. Edward’s fellow ex-con, his best friend–his only friend–he is a Southern charmer, a pathological liar, and a master manipulator. He’s sly and slick and for all his good-ole-boy manners, he is dangerous. I ADORE this Jasper. Also big time props for an OOC Carlisle (Edward calls him a “sport coat wearing asshole”) and a really clever take on Jake. The pacing is excellent, the POV balanced between Bella and Edward, and though it is an angst-fest, Burn and Shine is definitely worth your time.
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“Caravaggio” by meimei42 
“Caravaggio” is also a challenging read, but for an entirely different reason. This is another of Bestie’s recommendations and after I read it I was like, “WTF Bestie!” I specifically asked her if this story was angsty, because I am trying to cut back on the angst in my fanfic. And she said, “No, it’s not really angsty.” So I read it, and guess what? IT’S ANGSTY. It’s also very good. We have a high school senior Bella and an early-twenties Edward, and yes, the age difference is discussed and I’m fine with how it’s handled. It’s realistic. Bella is also pretty mature, and Edward has a tendency to be a spazz. There’s balance. “Caravaggio” is about artist Edward painting a portrait of Bella for her “keeping up with the Joneses” (or in this case, the Stanleys) parents, Charlie and Renee. For some reason, the Swans are obsessed with their image and are living well beyond their means. Bella is much less interested in maintaining the façade and she falls in pretty easily with Edward and his arty friends. As per usual, Edward has some secretive past and un-described mommy issues which lead to friction with Bella. She is strong and pretty confident and isn’t going to waste her time with someone who doesn’t know what he wants, which she tells Edward repeatedly. And of course Edward spazzes on what is pretty much Bella’s only commandment. I like this story for its artistic roots (Caravaggio is the early-Baroque painter famous for making a lot of money on boring still lifes and portraits when his real art was dark tortured scenes of martyrdom and suffering—there’s a parallel to Edward there). Though it hasn’t been blatant discussion yet, there’s a lot of subtext about the nature of The Muse and The Muse’s relationship to The Artist. It’s interesting and subtle. And the story is pleasantly lemony, too, which helps with the angst. I need something to balance the heartfail, you know? And this story will deliver heartfail. I’ve heard a lot of people jumped off the bandwagon after this story took an out of character, out of canon turn, but though I was shouting at my computer screen, I did like the twist. I really didn’t see it coming (though in retrospect, Bestie totally ruined it for me). With CWIA wrapped up, “Caravaggio” is filling my angst-niche quite well these days.
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Carpe Noctem & Fiat Lux” by queenofgrey
I lose my shit when this story updates. I jump up and down and pump my fist in the air and lick my computer screen. I adore this story. I can’t say enough good stuff about it. As I mentioned before, I am very tough on canon fics. This story is not straight canon (I would call it AU/Canon), but everyone who should be a vampire is a vampire, and Bella lives at home in Forks with Charlie. So the groundwork, it’s all canon. Where it diverges: Bella is a wee bit older. She’s 21 but Edward is still eternally 17, so if you’re uncomfortable with that, this may not be for you. I am a total hypocrite—Art After 5 completely grosses me out, but this one doesn’t bother me. Why? Probably because Edward isn’t trying pass as a high-schooler. When we meet him in this story, he’s living apart from the Cullens as an adult, and the author makes a good point in one of her notes. While his body is 17, he is more than 100. And since this Edward isn’t trying to be a 17 year old, I’m okay with his relationship with Bella. And that relationship is what makes this story so special. Edward labors, he fucking crawls on hands and knees over broken glass for every inch he gains with Bella. This is no “you’re cute, I like you, I don’t want to eat you anymore, we’re cool now” crap. First off, their first meeting is a wee bit rougher than staring at someone rudely in biology. So Edward not only has to make amends, he also has to overcome his hunger, which is staggering and difficult for him to do. Then some stuff happens, and Bella has to find it in her to forgive him. These two really work to be together, which only makes their relationship more compelling. At every step, they are weighing odds and considering the ramifications, and still they choose to be together.
They rely heavily on Jasper’s influence to keep Edward under control. Jasper and Alice are deeply involved in fostering the Bellward relationship—without Alice working between them and Jasper keeping Edward level, there is zero chance those two would be together. And so far, their being together does not include turning Bella at all. I can’t wait to see how this works out, because it seems very plausible that this Bella never becomes a vampire. I consider CN & FL a must-read, so get to reading and join me on the spazz-train every time it updates.
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“Clipped Wings & Inked Armor” by HunterHunting
Oh this story. This one comes with the biggest ANGST warning–it’s way, way up the angst scale, somewhere right around “Wide Awake” for drama. In fact, I think the top-three angstiest stories I’ve read are WA, CW&IA and “How to Save a Life”. The only thing that made getting through CW&IA tolerable was that HH updated almost every week, sometimes twice a week. So waiting through the heartfail was usually never too bad. And now, for those who haven’t read it, it’s complete so you don’t have to sweat out the cliffies. CW&IA is one of the best-written fics out there. This is one of those all-human stories that makes you think, “Change the names and this could be a novel.” It opens in Chicago, where Edward Masen is one of the proprietors of a tattoo parlor, along with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice, the resident piercing expert. This is Tattward in his original form. Edward has multiple piercings and is covered in ink (all of which is detailed in HH’s profile on FFN). Bella arrives as a grad student at Northwestern and goes to work for Edward’s aunt Esme in her bookshop across from the tattoo parlor. Of course right away Edward is attracted to Bella. But Bella has problems. She’s recovering from a terrible plane crash that killed her whole family and all of her friends. I’m not a fan of plane crashes, and while some of Bella’s memories are detailed, I never thought HH was being gratuitous in her writing. In fact, one of the strengths of CW&IA is how well she handles the darker aspects of the story. Edward has a past of his own. His parents were brutally murdered when he was eighteen, and while I pegged whodunit pretty quick, Edward’s memory is a wasteland thanks to years of drug abuse, so he hasn’t connected the dots yet. See? I told you this was an angsty story. Bella goes to Edward for a tattoo commemorating everything she lost in the crash, and Edward begins his careful, fucked-up wooing of Bella. She’s messed up, I’m not gonna lie. She has nightmares, a painkiller addiction, post-traumatic stress disorder–she’s a wreck. But the beauty of the story lies in how Edward and Bella slowly put each other back together. And it’s not all tears and pain. Edward particularly brings some humor to the story. He has a cupcake addiction, the whole TK2 plotline was too adorable for words, and even Edward’s OCD tendencies were a source of comic relief occasionally. Part of what makes CW&IA so great is the distinctive voice of Edward. Like “Dead Confederates”, CW&IA has an Edward that sounds unlike any other. He comes across so realistically, it’s almost like he’s sitting right next to you, telling you this in person. If you haven’t read CW&IA, please do. And if you have, it’s always a good time to revisit a classic.
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Commission” by SpikeIsHotter
There seems to be a relationship between readership and the number of reviews a story has. Stories a lot of people are reading (which I call “mega-fics”), have thousands of reviews. This story was published six months ago and it’s on both fanfiction.net and twilighted.net. Between both posts, it has less than 300 reviews. So I get the feeling most of you aren’t reading this story. Boo on you. This is AU, zero canon beyond names and basic physical descriptions. Edward is a vampire, but there are no Cullens. He is also a bit older, approximately 30, and the vampire physiology is different (read: more realistic) than Twilight’s. The sun, for instance, bothers him. And no sparkling, which I love, since sparkling vampires is about the lamest idea ever. Yeah, I said it. Bella is also older, in her twenties, and she is seriously messed up. Like, into self-harm messed up, so if that stuff bothers you, this might not be the story for you. Their relationship starts out totally screwed up and it doesn’t get much better once she figures out Edward’s secret. It’s realistically constructed though, and it’s fascinating so see Edward trying to be normal for Bella, and Bella trying to be normal for Edward, when they’re both so fucked up. It’s the man who can’t have friends and the woman who wants no friends becoming friends, and I love it. I just wished it updated more often. So go read it, leave a review for the author so she knows we’re out here waiting for updates, and then let me know what you think of this Edward. I luuurve him.
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“Company Loves Misery” by AngstGoddess003
Given how much I love “Wide Awake”, it was inevitable that one day I would rec another of AngstGoddess003’s stories. I picked this one up around Christmas and it’s already about halfway through. “Company Loves Misery” is pretty heavy stuff. Edward is an alcoholic and has been since his high school days. Back in high school he bullied Bella along with his best friend and fellow drunk James, eventually stuffing Bella in her locker. To teenaged Edward, it didn’t seem like bullying–he had a bit of a crush on Bella and like to see her claws come out, kind of like poking a kitten. Unfortunately, her reaction to being stuffed in the locker is extreme, and extremely bad. The first chapter is kind of harrowing as it describes, from Edward’s POV, Bella’s struggle to get out. The “prank” (read: horrid instance of casual cruelty) results in Edward’s expulsion and Bella transfers to Jacksonville. Jump ten years ahead and Edward is nearing one year sober as Bella returns to Forks after Charlie’s death after a bout with cancer. Edward approaches Bella and to make amends and ends up renovating the house Charlie let fall into disrepair while he was sick. This isn’t a black and white story. Edward was a terrible kid who grew into a despicable adult with an awful addiction, but he has kicked the bottle and is turning his life around. As he says to Bella, he can’t “connect” with his former self anymore. He feels deep shame and remorse for what he’s done, and he’s pretty realistic about realizing he doesn’t really deserve anyone’s forgiveness. It only makes him that much more grateful when he is forgiven. And for all his horrible history, Edward is a likeable character. He’s kinda funny, cynical and jaded but still optimistic about establishing himself as a sober, independent adult. And Bella, childhood victim of his misguided affection, isn’t very sympathetic. She’s let bitterness and spite take root in her adult self–what she does to Edward in the kitchen is every inch as terrible as what he did to her in high school. But when faced with that truth she acknowledges it and, like Edward, makes amends. Their friendship is slow to develop and tentative, but you can see it blossoming, like a flower growing out of cracks in the cement. Nice touches in the story–Edward is a hair man. Seriously, he has a hair fetish. Edward’s relationship with his parents–Carlisle and Esme have never given up on him, but you can see the damage done by his years of alcoholism. Same with his relationship with Alice. And Jasper’s love for Alice is so sad and dedicated. It’s one of my favorite parts of the story. This is a heavy story that deals with some truly difficult problems, but I love it.
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“The Dark Side of the Moon” by Blondie
How have I not recommended this story?!This is a MAJOR oversight on my part and I apologize to you all. This was one of the first fanfics I ever read. JAG from RAOR recommended it to me almost a year ago. I can’t imagine there are many out there who haven’t read DSOTM, but then, I am always surprised by the number of people who miss some of the fics that have been around a while. DSOTM is New Moon told entirely from Edward’s perspective. Basically, the Midnight Sun version of New Moon. I have to say, one thing that has always bugged me about Twilight is that Stephenie Meyer gave us half ofBreaking Dawn from freaking Jacob’s perspective, which let’s be honest, no one cares about, but we have no idea what’s going on with Edward during New Moon. Want to do a POV switch? How about cutting that whole part of New Moon where Bella moped around in favor of showing us what Edward was up to? (Granted, there is an outtake on Stephenie’s website of when Edward got The Call.) Still, DSOTM is what I always wanted from New Moon. Blondie does a fantastic job staying in canon. Her Edward is completely consistent with canon Edward, yet he is a fresh and interesting character. And her concept of how he spent his six months away from Bella is amazing. The tendency is to kind of dismiss Edward’s melodramatic tendencies, but Blondie’s characterization is so good that it’s easy to understand why he is making the decisions he makes, and to see them not as melodramatic overreaction, but as poor decisions made by a desperate, grieving man. The other characters are well drawn–Bella especially comes off as a bit stronger and more self-determined–but it’s Edward’s show. If you’re Team Edward and you haven’t read DSOTM, get on it.
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“12 Days of Dickopotamus” & “You’re a Dickopotamus Edward” byShinyVolvoLurver
This one is a two-fer. You have to read “12 Days” first. It’s a fast read in the vein of “12 Days of Christmas”, covering the 12 gifts Edward gives Bella one Christmas to show her how much he loves her. Throughout we get little glimpses of their back story, how they met and became a couple. It’s short, it’s hilarious, it’s highly enjoyable. “Dickopotamus” is set 3 years before “12 Days” and details the meeting and relationship of Bella and Edward. You HAVE to read “12 Days” first, but “Dickopotamus” is the meat of the story. This is a messed up, complicated Bella, and Edward is quite an asshole. This story is way, way out of character, and while it’s sexy and snarky and smutty, it’s also pretty dark. Bella has real problems, Edward isn’t the nicest guy on the planet, Alice has some kind of personality disorder, and James is a drug dealer. But that’s what makes this story so compelling–it’s hilarious, too. Alice’s melt down at family dinner shouldn’t be funny–she obviously has a serious condition–but Shiny has a knack for turning the profane into the sublimely hysterical. For instance, Bella and Edward get high and go buy a cat. That shouldn’t be funny–don’t do drugs, kids–but I was dying while reading it. Bella’s thoughts throughout were hilarious, a combination of “please give me this kitty” and “why are you letting me have this animal?” It’s like being handed a glassful of angst and a handful of pixie sticks at the same time. These stories aren’t for everyone, but if you’re like me and have a taste for the darkly comic, the sick and twisted, the perverse and profane, you’ll love them.
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“Dead Confederates” by goldenmeadow
“Dead Confederates” is the best fanfic I’ve ever read.
Hear me out. (Bestie, hold off on the MotU defense, it isn’t necessary.) Last week, I ran down some of my favorite fics. I stand by what I said last week. I love these stories. I read and re-read them, think about them, discuss them and text with Bestie until my thumbs are numb. I’ve made a strong statement today, and I want to make it clear that it doesn’t mean I like any fic I’ve rec’ed less, it just means I’ve reorganized how I categorize my fics. I have two categories of favorite fics: best all human and best canon/alternate universe. The really good AH stories are the ones that make me think, “Change the names, and this could be a book.” The great canon/AU stories are the ones that have destroyed my ability to read the real Twilight. But I never found a story that combines the best of these qualities, until “Dead Confederates”. It is the perfect blend of source material and original ideas; it also perfectly balances humor and drama, and plot and lemons.
“Dead Confederates” tells the story of Eddie Cullen, a good ole boy from low country South Carolina. He’s a foul-mouthed redneck with shitkicking boots and permanent hard-on. And he’s a vampire. Eddie (don’t call him Edward, he won’t appreciate it) is on the Volturi’s most-wanted list thanks to his mind-reading abilities, and after years of hiding out in England, he was found and captured by Chelsea. Carlisle bargains with Aro to get him back, and once reunited with the Cullens, they flee to America and settle in “South Cackalakee” to hide. Forget being upper-crusty people of quality. The Cullens have gone to ground–literally. Carlisle the doctor becomes Carl the vet, Emmett is better known as monster-truck driving Bubba, and Jasper is called Junior, a free-loving hippie who deals with his troubled past by having a lot of sex with basically anything that moves. Maw Esme smacks her boys with impunity, does their laundry, threatens to wash their mouths out with lye soap, and buys her paper goods in bulk at Costco. When the story begins, Alice and Rosalie haven’t joined the Cullens, but Emmett is pursuing Rose, a vampire who lived in town before the Cullens’ arrival and works as a waitress at the local diner.
As for Alice…well she’s something else in this story. Edward alludes to her pending arrival early on, and when she does finally show up, she is not what you expect. She’s a precognitive vampire, sure, but she’s also a kleptomaniac. Her relationship with Eddie is combative, prickly, sometimes downright mean, and only rarely friendly. This is not an Alice and Edward who work seamlessly together to protect the family. Alice has come for Jasper, but also because she is getting glimpses of the showdown between the Volturi and the Cullens. And Eddie, hot headed and quick tempered, is always harping on her to reveal what she knows. She won’t. Alice is cagey and her trustworthiness is questionable.
And then there’s Eddie and Bella. When the story opens, Eddie is pining for Bella from afar. He’s the town’s hell-raising bad boy, expelled from school and up to no good. Bella is new in town, living with Charlie and waitressing alongside Rose. Poor Eddie is plagued with want. He’s profane and earthy and as he is the sole narrator of the story, you will hear a lot about how bad he needs to jack off because of Bella. This story is super, super lemony (even if most of it is of the self-abuse variety). It’s up there with Clipped Wings & Inked Armor in terms of graphicness of language, so it’s not for the faint of heart, but damn, is it funny. And Bella is sexy, sassy, strong, and a terrific potty-mouth in her own right. They play off each other beautifully, trading quips and dirty talk. Edward is coasting along, enjoying the freedom of this new hillbilly life, and Bella forces him to start feeling again and dealing with reality. She’s as earthy as Eddie, his match in every way, except the most basic physical difference of vampire and human. And even then, Bella won’t be intimidated. Also, Jacob and the wolves are in this story as the Cajun “loup-garou”, and Bella is aware of her friend’s true nature long before Eddie reveals his.
“Dead Confederates” is funny and lemony and there is so much to love about it. Emmett the hypochondriac, Carl getting baked with his pseudo-brood and sniffing junk food, Esme’s predilection for Ziploc bags and Alice’s sticky fingers. It’s funny, with quick repartee (I imagine Eddie as a fast talker) and witty one liners and a penchant for alliteration. But there’s an undercurrent of mystery and drama–the Volturi hounding the Cullens around the world for Edward’s talent. The nature of Carlisle and Aro’s bargain for Edward’s release. Alice’s visions of the future that she won’t reveal. Bella’s role with the Cullens, and her part in their future. It’s like having a two-tiered story. On one level, it’s a light, funny, sexy story about a wild Southern boy wooing a sassy babe. He has a crazy family; she has a gun-toting dad. Laughs all around. On another level, it’s a dark, mysterious story about a strong-willed family standing against a bigger, evil foe and the girl who holds the key to their battle. And it’s the best example of source material and original ideas combined I have found yet.
“Dead Confederates” is at the must-read level. And once you’ve read it, check out the companion “Rebelward Without a Cause”, a series of outtakes and sideshots that shed some light on the other characters and certain events in “Dead Confederates”.
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“Dying by Degrees” by reamhar
This is the week for Alternate Universe rec’s. As you may have figured out by now, I do not like New Moon very much. It is my least favorite of the books. I don’t like how Bella just rolls over after all Edward does and accepts him, no questions asked. I feel like a self-respecting young woman would ask some questions. But Edward is all, “I’m sorry, I lied, I really do love you,” and Bella goes, “Okay, we’re cool,” and everything’s swell, no repercussions of his abandonment. It has always bugged how easily Bella forgives Edward. I get it, they’re like, so in loooove, but that doesn’t mean you just swallow ill treatment from your significant other. So I really like AU fics that recast New Moon in a way that shows Bellward struggling to heal after their separation (see also: “My Yes, My No” by LolaShoes). This story is all about that reconciliation. It picks up after the confrontation in Volterra, as Edward and Bella return to Forks. At first, Bella is so happy to have saved Edward, to be alive, that she is able to just be with him. But then doubts creep in, as they inevitably would. Their reconciliation is painful. Bella needs time and space, Edward is almost physically incapable of giving her those things. Make no mistake, this is not Bella “punishing” Edward. He punishes himself enough, and Bella doesn’t want to keep apart from him, either, she simply realizes they need to heal themselves before they can heal together. She understands that Edward needs to forgive himself before he can accept her forgiveness. It’s all about taking one another off the pedestal and meeting in the middle. Probably the best comparison I can make is that this is like a couple trying to recover from infidelity. Obviously, Edward wasn’t really unfaithful, nor was Bella, but the damage his leaving wrought is very similar. Bella’s trust has been destroyed, Edward has a lot of self-directed anger, and this story frames their “recovery” as a painful process of re-learning to love one another as equals. Snaps for also giving Bella a scene to call out the Cullens for abandoning her when Edward leaves. When they try and claim her as their sister and daughter, she shuts them down. And she’s right to—Bella never expresses her anger to the Cullens at all in canon Twilight. Here, the family is going to have to earn her trust back, too.
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“Edward Wallbanger” by feathers_mmmm
We need to start a fundraiser to allow feathers_mmmm to stay home and finish this story. It’s painful, waiting for updates. This story is the fanfic equivalent of a romantic comedy. Edward and Bella meet cute thanks to thin walls and Edward’s proclivity for loud sex. Throw in some pink nighties, a cat named Clive who crushes on Edward’s lady friend, and the fact that Bella hasn’t had a big O in over 6 months and you get a hilarious story. Poor, sexually frustrated Bella is totes hot for her neighbor, but Edward keeps a harem. Good on Bella for not wanting to be in the harem. Don’t judge Edward, though! He has his reasons for being the way he is, and following the logic of his life, his harem makes sense. But Bella’s feelings make sense too. Enter the conflict. Edward wants Bella, Bella wants Edward. But Bella is strong and very confident—despite her big O issues—and she won’t be one of many. Edward isn’t ready to settle with only one, so they continue at loggerheads. “Let’s be friends”—hah. Good luck with that, Wallbanger and Pink Nightie Girl. The story is mostly BPOV, but there is some EPOV thrown in. In a really excellent twist, when Bella’s girls meet Edward’s posse, Rose goes for Jasper and Alice goes for Emmett. I smell some funny stuff coming up getting that straightened out. Esme and Carlisle are fun, but the best secondary characters are Jessica Stanley and Jacob Black. Read this and tell me you don’t love Jessica. I love that the author took Jessica and Jacob in the direction she has. It’s a unique choice. I love this story, and it’s pretty much at mega-fic status, but I’m always surprised when people ask for a link to it. So it’s linked permanently now, and you have no more excuses. Everyone needs to be reading Wallbanger.
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“Elemental” by TallulahBelle
Have you ever asked yourself, what if everyone was witches instead of vampires? No? That’s okay; I just did it for you. The answer is the plot of “Elemental”. It’s AU/AH, and the Cullens (indeed, every character from the books) are witches. Bella and her parents, a still-married Charlie and Renee, return to Forks because “the Coven” needs all its members at home to stop some weird shit happening in the forest. I was sort of meh on this story because I’m not super into The Craft or Wicca or anything, and this story is heavy on that lore. Also, through 13 chapters there isn’t much Edward (besides a two second cameo, he doesn’t show up until chapter 4), although each chapter is annotated as “BPOV”, which makes me think it could switch to “EPOV” at some point, or else Bella just needs to hang with Edward more. So why am I recommending it? Mostly because of Bella—she is sassy, and I like a sassy Bella. Also, for as big of a deal everyone makes about how powerful Edward is, it becomes clear fairly early that Bella is going to be just as powerful, and I always like a story that puts Edward and Bella on a level playing field. So much of Twilight is about Edward being this perfect awesome creature and Bella being a spazztastic fuckup, and I hate that. Even after she’s changed in Breaking Dawn, I never feel like Edward and Bella exist on the same level. I like that this story says, “She’s still learning the rules, but Bella and Edward are equals.” There should be more strong Bellas. Also, this story borrows imprinting from the Quileutes. The witches imprint after turning 18 just like the wolves do, but in order to solidify the “mating”, the imprinted couple has to have sex. Twist! Sounds kinda gross, and it is kinda gross. Bella doesn’t like Edward, at all. And he doesn’t seem very fond of her, yet they must have sex or else they’re gonna die of a stomach ache or something. And Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett are involved in this, which just makes it weirder. I liked this story more for having such a completely unromantic first time for Bellward. Best part? The moment this story won me over and I decided to put it on alert? After completing their imprint, Edward’s all, “We’re mates, I like you now, let’s spoon,” and Bella’s like, “You’re a dick, get away from me.” So though the poor girl is stuck with Edward, whom she is clearly way too cool for, she is not just going to bow down and obey his every whim. He’s going to have to earn her devotion. I’m hoping Jacob Black shows up eventually to give Eddie some competition. Obviously, nothing real could come of it because Bella IS stuck with Edward, but this Edward deserves to suffer a little. He’s a pompous ass and needs to be brought down a couple pegs. I have a feeling sassy “I hate you” Bella is going to bring Jerkward to his knees.
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“Ethan Church” by dryler
Complete and only 13 chapters, “Ethan Church” is a sweet, intriguing read. Bella is a wee bit older, in her twenties, and she is a professional translator. She is approached by the reclusive author Ethan Church to write his biography. At first she declines, not considering herself a writer and also because she doesn’t particularly like his depressing novels. They affect her too much; just reading Church’s words makes Bella feel like she is losing control. But the offer is repeated and eventually, on a weird whim, Bella gives in and goes to meet with Church at his estate outside Seattle, Ferndale. There she finds Adelaide, the housekeeper, who has known Ethan Church nearly her whole life. And Church himself is an old man–not at all what Bella was expecting. Things at Ferndale are a little odd. Bella feels watched, she hears rumbling in the night, finds a book she has translated pulverized as though someone hit it with great force. And then Bella sees the strange, beautiful man in the garden one night. I think you can see where this is going. The relationship between Edward and Bella is given an interesting twist as dryler attributes a physiological reaction to the idea of “mates”. So often people talk about Edward and Bella mating and there’s no real consequence for it. In EC, however, it’s a physical reaction in both Edward and Bella, a compelling force they can’t control. Edward gives a nice account of underestimating the bond between mates because while he knew mated vampire’s thoughts, he couldn’t fathom the emotional connection between them. EC unwinds as Bella unravels the mystery of Ethan Church and the man she meets in the garden. It’s poignant and mysterious and a beautifully written novella, well worth a couple hours to read.
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“Entwined” by La.Tua.Cantante.83
I’m going to do my best to get you hooked on another new fic (only 7 chapters), but it’s worth it. “Entwined” is an AU set in Forks, with Bella in high school alongside the Cullens. However, in this universe Edward fled after encountering her in biology and has been gone for six months. Then Edward decides to return home, and then, as he is running back home, he encounters a car accident late in the night. What should he find but Bella Swan, injured and dying. Of course, Edward’s first impulse is to bite but at the last second he shifts his intent and bites her to turn her. He then takes her home with him to suffer through her change with her. So far, “Entwined” is told in Edward’s point of view, which only adds to Bella’s mysterious ways when she wakes up a vampire. Like canonical Twilight, Edward can’t read her mind and Bella is an unusually self-contained newborn. But LTC83 takes that concept much further than Stephenie Meyer ever did, creating a shy, reserved Bella who is sweet and gentle despite being a newborn vampire. Poor Jasper, he doesn’t understand her at all and it makes him nervous. He also can’t get a lock on her emotions, suggesting her ability as shield will be a little more powerful in this version than in real Twilight. The Cullens are amazed by Bella’s ability to channel and control her newborn emotions, but they are also aware that she is hiding something from them. Meanwhile Edward is struck with guilt for changing Bella but is also fascinated by her, while remaining completely oblivious to the true nature of their relationship. “Entwined” is setting up to be a bit of a mystery with Bella’s secret and the reasons behind her ability to function so normally even as a newborn. In Breaking Dawn, Meyer writes off Bella’s vampiric maturity as merely a side effect of her making the choice to become a vampire, but I think things will be a wee bit more complicated (and interesting) in “Entwined”.
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“Eye Contact” by Silver Sniper of Night
This is a different story, recommended by PunkyBellyJelly. Bella is a twenty-year-old college student working on a degree in special education. Edward is a twenty-year-old genius already pursuing his master’s in mechanical engineering. Except Edward is also autistic. Or, more specifically, he has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a form of Autism. This story is a lot to digest. The author does a great job annotating chapters with terms and articles that explain the specifics of Asperger’s, but what it boils down to is that Edward doesn’t feel emotions like everyone else. So how can he and Bella be in love? Well that’s the crux of the story. I have a cousin with Asperger’s and Sniper completely nails the way an “Aspie” thinks and speaks. Edward is not dumb, he’s not slow, he’s not retarded in any way. In many, many ways, Edward is a million times more intelligent than everyone else. But Asperger’s affects how one processes emotions. It’s not that Edward doesn’t feel, it’s not that he isn’t sincerely in love with Bella. It’s just that he will never experience those feelings in the way the Bella does. For Edward, everything is logical. Because he likes how Bella makes him feel, because he admires her intellect and her taste in music—as well as her smile—it is logical that he wants her for his girlfriend. And then because he misses her when she is not present and because he wants to spend more time with her, it is logical that he loves her. It’s all there; he just arrives at the conclusion a bit differently. As for Bella, she is aware of the basic difference in understanding between her and Edward, and she is aware of and nervous about how that will be taken by the outside world. A lot of people mistakenly think those afflicted with Asperger’s, or any form of autism, can’t feel emotions, but that’s not the case. They do feel, and in many ways are super sensitive to emotions. They just don’t always understand them. My cousin, for instance, can’t lie. He literally cannot lie. He doesn’t understand dishonesty or why anyone would ever tell anything but the truth. Even the concept of telling a white lie to protect someone’s feelings is beyond him. Like Edward, my cousin has assigned all feelings with a number to process how they will affect someone. Happiness is a 1, sadness is an 8, anger is a 10, and rage is 11. He understands the numbers and that helps him understand people’s reactions. Edward processes in much the same way. Edward is essentially a high-functioning Aspie. He can drive, take care of himself, cook, do all the things he would need to do to function in the real world. However, Esme has sheltered him his entire life and Edward is really lacking in socializing skills. Enter Bella to help him learn how to interact with his peers. This is a fascinating story, an unusual and complex love story, and a challenging read. I have enjoyed it for its unique perspective on love and how we define one of the most mysterious and indefinable of all the human emotions. Maybe not for everyone, but if you’re up to the challenge, give “Eye Contact” a shot.
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Facebook Friends” by GreenPuma
As the title would suggest, Facebook plays a major role in this story. I do not have, never have had, nor will I ever have a Facebook page. I stopped talking to the people I went to high school with for a reason. The last thing I want is to sign up for some website and have all those people crawling out of the woodwork. That said, I do realize most everyone else in the world is nicer than me and actually enjoys human interaction, so I will roll with the premise of this story. Forks high school students Bella and Edward have secret crushes on each other, but they don’t mingle at school. Edward is uber-popular, and Bella is her usual shy, quiet self. Then one day, Edward friends Bella on Facebook, and suddenly they’re talking to each other and then going on dates. But was it really Edward that friended Bella? It wouldn’t be Twilight fanfic without some angst, since Bellward are all about the sexual tension and lack of communication and breaking up. But this story is about as light as it gets, and is witty, and really is just a fun, enjoyable read. I went nuts when the author, GreenPuma, threw down a “Say Anything” reference. Other enjoyable instances in this story: Alice and Rosalie play roller derby, Bella’s aim with a slushie, and a pretty cool Carlisle and Esme (they have “Beatles hour” during dinner!). Chapters are titled after songs, including several Jeff Buckley songs and one of Pearl Jam’s lesser known but extremely awesome songs (“Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town”), and music plays a key role in Bella and Edward’s relationship. A lot of fic’s work music into the story, but this is one of the better ones at blending pop/rock music into the story—the Foo Fighters make a cameo. A fun, quick read that is almost complete, I believe. Give it a go, even if you’re like me and loathe Facebook.
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“Failure to Thrive” by Julesnerd
Bella and Edward meet in sex therapy. Done. Sold. Emmett is Bella’s sex therapist. What?! Awesome. Sign me up. I stumbled across this story by accident when looking for something else entirely, and man, am I glad. I laughed for three days straight while I read it. Bella has been diagnosed as “clinically frigid” after a series of bad-bordering-on-scarring sexual experiences (there is a brief scene recollecting sexual assault, but it’s short and not graphic), and Edward is sexually insatiable. Poor guy, once he gets going he can’t stop. He’s literally driven away all of his girlfriends, and now he has performance and anxiety issues because of it. The set-up is a little preposterous, but because this is a funy, fluffy fic, I’ll roll with it. After meeting at sex therapy, Edward and Bella exchange their stories and decide (in about fifteen minutes) to help each other out. Of course they’re perfect for each other. Bella’s sense of humor and snarky attitude hide a lifelong hurt, and a sincere belief that maybe she isn’t cut out to have a healthy sex life. Her backstory is a little sad, but she has so much spirit and sass you can’t feel bad for her. You will love this Bella. She acts first, thinks later, which is the polar opposite of Edward. He thinks too much. I want to know this Edward. Despite a penchant for over-thinking, he’s romantic and thoughtful and kind. He is so careful with Bella, working through her fears and trying to control his own anxiety, too. He sweeps Bella off her feet with new deadbolts and trips to amusement parks. What makes this story work is that despite their unusual meeting, which is almost unbearably precious, Edward and Bella are real. Underneath the sharp banter–the dialogue in this story is a real treat–they have insecurities and issues. And they talk about them like grown-ups would. The serious, intimate (and no, I don’t mean intimate in the lemony sense) moments between them anchor the fluffier, sexier side of the story. “Failure to Thrive” is a fun, fast read. Taking your laptop to the pool or the beach? Read this one while you’re there.
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“Guardian” byChampagneAnyone
I don’t think I’m scary but my email inbox is full of messages from people saying, “I was too afraid to tweet you”, or “so-and-so was too nervous to write you so I am passing on this message”. Will it help if I assure you I don’t actually survive on the blood of innocents? Anyway, it was nice when Ally (aka ChampagneAnyone) emailed me herself to ask me to read her story. That was a few weeks ago, and I can safely say I am now thoroughly hooked on “Guardian”. When Bella Swan’s parents are brutally murdered when she is eight, family friends and business partners in Cullen-Swan Law, the Cullens take in orphaned Bella. Of course she takes to the older Edward, and things are fine until she grows up. This is an angsty story–not the worst angst I’ve ever read but it’s up there. The prologue sets up a situation in which you know Edward and Bella won’t have an easy road ahead of them. The age difference is key here, because though Bella realizes her feelings for Edward, she does not have the maturity to understand his motivations. She’s sensitive and young and Edward is not quite as careful as he should be with her, physically or emotionally. But on the flipside, though you will want to kick Edward in the shins a couple times, Edward isn’t totally bad, he just hasn’t acknowledged his feelings (to himself or anyone else) and so he acts kind of cluelessly. But Bella’s rash reactions and thought process kind of just sets up more misunderstandings and angst. This is a jealous Edward (Jealousward!) and Bella’s pushing him to deal with his feelings. They have friction in their professional relationship, too, as Carlisle and Edward have constructed a merger for Cullen-Swan that definitely puts Bella on the short end of the stick. Enter the lawyer Bella hires to represent her in the merger, Demetri. I didn’t picture him as any sort of potential rival for Edward, but then Ally showed me this: “Demetri”, and now the game has changed. Jealousward indeed. This is a great story, relatively new but a regular Sunday updater. It’s filling the angst/UST void CWIA left in my life.
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The Gentleman from Washington State” by Betty Smith
We’ve got a little theme this week. Both stories came from the authors recommending them to me. It’s really rare–I can count on one hand how many ficsters have sent me their own stories. But I got a very nice email from Betty a couple weeks ago along with a link to her story, so I read it. And I fell in love. Lately I’ve been a bit off the angsty stories, but have been adding a lot of UST (unresolved sexual tension) to my fic caddy. “The Gentleman” is arguably one of the UST-iest stories you’ll ever find. It’s about Edward Cullen, a young senator who has taken over his father Carlisle’s senate seat after Carlisle’s death (sad–dead Carlisle). Edward is in a heated campaign with conservative challenger Jacob Black. Edward is a playboy (read: total manwhore), and he has a brand new batch of office interns, including one Bella Swan. Bella is a college senior who is completing her senior year at Georgetown. Of course Edward is attracted to Bella, but therein lies the rub. He is the senator. He is ten years older than her. He is a playboy in a tight race with a conservative opponent who is married with a happy homemaker wife. He cannot touch Bella Swan. UST! As for Bella, she is shy, kind, sharp as a tack, and attracting men left and right, even if she doesn’t seem to notice it. There’s Edward of course, her hot boss about whom she has sexytime dreams, and then Jacob, who she tried to date but broke up with when he wanted her to quit college and marry him. Jacob is a real prick in this story–you’ll want to punch him the junk. Points to Betty for making a Jacob we love to hate. And there’s Mike Newton, here a Senate aide who is a former college basketball star. Mike isn’t half bad–Betty has given him some depth and interest, making him more than just a cardboard cutout jerk/dweeb/pest, as Mike Newton usually is. This fic is a bit OOC, and has non-canon pairings in the beginning. Edward has private affairs with a number of women, Bella is currently getting her jollies with Mike Newton, which is a little discomfiting, but Betty counsels us to be patient as Bella really doesn’t think Edward is into her yet. She’s pursuing what she believes to be the realistic option over pining for a fantasy. Makes me wish Edward would pull his head out of his ass and get a move on. But that’s the central tension of the story. Edward isn’t just Edward–he’s Senator Cullen. He really can’t afford a scandal. He’s already got one skeleton in his closet–his brother Emmett is back home in Washington, keeping a low profile after some sort of incident that Charlie Swan apparently helped keep under wraps. And Jacob lurks, knowing Bella (whom Jacob clearly still has feelings for, despite his marriage) is in Edward’s office, and knowing Edward’s reputation as a ladies’ man. Drama! If you love UST, this story is for you.
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I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion” by Crittab
Have you ever had a guy friend and then sex got in the way? Edward and Bella were childhood BFFs, but as puberty sets in, things go awry. Edward is confused and hesitates, Bella takes the opportunity with someone else, misunderstandings and accusations follow, and then they hate each other. With a couple years of mutual dislike between them, Edward and Bella reconnect at a party. Edward has become the most popular boy in school, a lothario and must-have lover by reputation—or is he? And Bella, though not slutty, craves sex after an active relationship with her first boyfriend (guess who). So the two strike a deal… And of course it doesn’t go well. With so much unspoken hurt and disappointment between them, how could it? This story is pretty angsty, but it does deliver some good lemonade to make up for it. Though at first you want to smack both of them for being so obtuse, as they begin to untangle the knot of problems between them, you can’t help but root for Bellward to get it together. And Edward’s big scene at the end—classic. There is a plot device which is thin at best, however, I suppose I can accept that over-dramatic Edward might actually agree to something so dumb, and then actually stick it out for so long despite all the personal turmoil it caused. It’s worth it just for Esme’s, “Oh Edward, really?” moment. This is not a long story, just 15 chapters, and it’s a pretty fast read. Dip your toe in the angst pool with this one.
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“His Personal Assistant” by NorthernLights17
And now for something completely different. This is one of my favorite stories. Whenever I read a story that bugs me and/or upsets me (happening a lot lately), I re-read His Personal Assistant to cleanse my palate. Light, fluffy, with only minimal “will Edward and Bella be apart” angst—which is actually handled pretty hilariously as Edward devolves into an emo bitch—this is a lemony, fluffy piece of goodness. As part of her business course at college, Bella is working at Cullen International as CEO Edward Cullen’s personal assistant. Pretty unbelievable but Edward is 24 and the CEO of a major Fortune 500 international conglomerate. Erm…okay, I’ll buy it because this is fanfic and it’s not supposed to be very serious. But I could’ve believed a slightly older Edward. Anyway—Bella has a crush on her boss and fantasizes about him frequently. She decides to enlist the help of her roommates, Alice and Rosalie, and her boss’s brothers, Emmett and Jasper, in attracting seemingly impassive Edward’s attention. This involves a lot of dressing up like porno characters and reading dirty books. Eventually Edward caves which leads to some of the funniest misunderstandings and miscommunications I’ve found yet. This is a very lemony story. Between Bella’s fantasies early on and then her relationship with Edward later, there’s a high smut content and some of the lemons are really…creative. I found myself going, “Really?” a lot during the lemons. There are fist fights, Edward and Jake pissing matches, Edward’s secret porn stash, quirky Esme—this is just a funny story. And it’s complete!
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“How to Save a Life” by unholy.obsession
So I waited to recommend this story until it was finished. Why? Because it’s angsty as fuck. This is one of the angstiest stories I’ve read. I didn’t want to recommend it until you could read it in one go because waiting for updates–even though the author was good about updating regularly–was killer. But now it’s complete so you can read without the painful waiting through the cliffhangers. “How to Save a Life” is a high-school set, all-human fic in which Bella moves to Forks after growing tired of dealing with her bi-polar mother. In Forks Bella becomes friends with Alice Cullen and she meets Alice’s surly, reticent older brother Edward. At first, HTSAL Edward seemed like such a prick to me. He’s a stoner, he’s high or strung out most of the time, he’s abominably rude to everyone, especially Bella. But as Bella unwinds the events of the previous year, the reasons for Edward’s behavior become clear. Everything hinges on a fatal car accident the year before which killed Edward’s girlfriend, Tanya. They were the golden couple–the popular jock and his straight-A class president-type girlfriend. But as Bella finds, all is not as it seems at Forks High. I really loved “How to Save a Life” for its Bella. She’s pretty amazing. Her life has not been perfect, but she remains optimistic and inherently kind to others. She cares deeply about the people around her. She throws herself into the void of Edward’s problems, trying to restore him back to the happy, together guy he was before Tanya’s death. However, the more Bella probes into that car accident and what lead Tanya to drive out that day, the more she finds an ugly truth. And this Bella is no Pollyanna. She knows that she can only push Edward so far before he has to want to get better for himself. She’s just not going to let him linger in his depression as everyone else has done so far. But of course, this is an angsty fucking story, so Bella encounters plenty of drama of her own (this story delivered one of the most heart-stopping moments I’ve read through so far). And Bella is not perfect. She’s lashes out in anger and she comes to treat Edward about as bad as he’s treated her. But when she’s just about to give up hope for good and throw herself into the same abyss Edward has been living in, he reaches out and gives her back her sense of optimism. “How to Save a Life” is about healing and forgiveness and moving on in the face of devastating tragedy. It swings between unbearably sweet moments and gut-wrenching angst, and through it all is Bella, dragging everyone back toward the light.
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If This is Fate” by earthprincess4
This story is pretty heavy; however, I also think it’s a pretty realistic look as to how teenagers would handle this terrible situation. The story begins with Bella at Renee’s funeral. Renee has died, leaving Bella and her younger brother, Seth, as well as Bella’s step-sister Leah, in the care of Bella’s step-dad (and Seth and Leah’s father), James. James is the chief of police of Forks, is a nice guy, and the town loves him. James is beating the shit out of Bella, who thinks he killed her mother to cover up the fact that he was beating the shit out of Renee first. With Renee gone, the responsibility of raising Seth and Leah falls to Bella, as does keeping James’s house in order. It’s very sad, but even more heartbreaking is Bella’s acceptance of the situation. It’s an all-too-familiar response to abuse, to just accept it and think you deserve no better. Let’s pause to sadface. Then one day Bella meets Edward in school, whom she has admired from afar for ages. Of course Edward isn’t stupid, and he knows something is wrong with Bella. He puts it together but does nothing. I know right?! Ugh, it’s so frustrating to get through Edward’s period of indecision. He does eventually begin to help Bella, and he hangs out with her, but Bella won’t let him tell anyone about the abuse. One day, though, Bella doesn’t show up to school and of course Edward must ride to the rescue. This story is pretty angsty, and it’s hard to read in some places (confession: I skimmed a little), but it’s realistic enough and Edward and Bella’s relationship provides some happpytimes among the sadfaces. Also, Edward can be a bit of an emo bitch, but Bella’s so grown up and mature it provides a nice contrast. Seth and Leah are also solid characters, and the spin on Emmett and Rosalie is interesting, especially as Bella is lately beginning to click with Rosalie due to Edward’s said emo bitchiness. In all, a tough read, but a good one, but because I know a lot of people are like me and don’t always like these types of stories, I will put a big fat ANGST/ABUSE warning on this one. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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“I Hate Myself for Loving You” by halojones
Another halojones story! I’m not kidding when I say she is one of my favorite authors. I’ve been waiting to recommend this story, too, since right as it was on the brink of wrapping up, it went on hiatus. Well this morning I got an update which was really an author’s note from halojones stating that she is about ready with the next chapter and will be finishing up soon. So here’s the rec at long last. And to make up for the drama and angst of “How to Save a Life”, “I Hate Myself For Loving You” is a funny story. College freshman Bella Swan is determined to shed her un-dateable good-girl image from her high school days now that she’s in college. On her first day she meets her roommate Alice and Alice’s older brother, all-around smooth dude Edward. They banter. There are sparks. They talk about Joan Jett and get matching tattoos. And then Edward drops the ball and hurts Bella. Now suddenly he has to make up some ground with her. Because Edward is not dumb. He knows Bella is the kind of girl you treat right, and he knows he’s blown it with her pretty much right out of the gate. This story will make you laugh so hard. Bella and Alice get into more bizarre situations–the thing with the Fruit Roll-Ups stands out–and Rosalie is always in the background egging them on. God I love this Rose. She’s a bit older than Alice and Bella, and she tends bar where Bella sings with a cover band for money. She’s sharp-witted and sharp-tongued, especially toward Emmett (a Mormon who also does traditional Polynesian dance). Her definitions of “oatmeal” Jasper and “precious” sex kill me. The dialogue is fast and snappy, especially when characters get to sparring with one another. The way Charlie and Jake treat Edward when Bella brings him home for Thanksgiving is hilarious. Bella tells him to use “magical fire” to assert his masculinity with her father and friend, but Edward, raised by Esme to be a proper gentleman, is more “jazz hands”. But when he does stand up to Charlie, it’s a total fist-pump moment, magical fire and all. The story isn’t total fluff, though. There are some serious moments, especially surrounding Rose, and Edward as he tries to figure out his future. But generally, “I Hate Myself For Loving You” is a funny read with some of the best characters around. And trust me, after “How to Save a Life”, you’re going to need a laugh.
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“Incubus Anomaly” by elusivetwilight
This story should come with a warning. Caution: IA may cause spontaneous loss of panties. This is one of the sexier stories I’m reading right now. “Incubus Anomaly” is by elusivetwilight, who also wrote “The Rain Season”, one of my earliest fics. Like TRS, IA is very citrusy in nature. But TRS was all human and IA is an alternate universe story; Edward is a vampire. While this story has vampires and Volturi, it is totally out of character and not at all in canon. Yes, Edward is a vampire, but here he is in his mid-twenties, and he has left the Cullens and is living on his own. As an incubus. (An incubus is a demon that has sex with a woman while she is sleeping in order to feed from her soul. Often, mythology indicates repeated exposure to an incubus causes insanity or even death.) Edward isn’t eating people’s souls and he’s not taking advantage of sleeping women, but he is opening a vein and drinking human blood while his lover is blissed out in a post-orgasmic state. So…Edward has lots of sex. Enter Edward’s new neighbor, divorcee Bella Swan Black. Of course Edward wants Bella in every way, and very badly, but she is wary of men, bitter and burned from her husband Jake’s betrayal. This is no weak, whimpering Bella. She kicks ass and takes names. She is fierce and edgy and fully capable of taking care of herself. She and Edward circle each other warily; he wants her but doesn’t want to be controlled by her, and Bella is attracted to Edward despite a basic fear of being in another man’s thrall. Also, Edward is super moody and mysterious, which combined with her trust issues, makes Bella cautious of him. Several relationships are vastly different in IA than they are in Twilight. First, Jessica is Bella’s best friend and you will like her. She is a good friend and she’s loyal and funny. It’s a relief for Bella to have one uncomplicated relationship in this story. The Volturi are also different. They don’t live as a unified group. Marcus actually works in the same place as Bella, and Caius was Edward’s mentor into the incubus lifestyle. It’s a big deal that Bella is Edward’s singer but the exact nature of that relationship is a bit mysterious–I expect the author has a particular idea of how that will play out. As for the Cullens, Emmett is jovial with a distinctly provoking edge, and Jasper is creepy. Like super, super creepy. And Alice has a bit of an edge, too. Oh, and you will hate Jake in this story. He’s a total douche. “Incubus Anomaly” is a sexy, dark, mysterious story; give it a try if you’re looking for some smut with brains.
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“Ithaca is Gorges” by Giselle-lx
This is a unique spin on a New Moon AU. It’s told from a split POV between Edward and Carlisle. I think there’s a little more CPOV as Carlisle narrates what the Cullens go through in Ithaca, from arrival until that fateful trip to Alaska during spring break. EPOV covers Edward’s crushing sense of loss once he leaves Bella (his behavior in the Ithaca house will *destroy* you), as well as what he does once he leaves. Carlisle also recalls Edward’s transformation and newborn year, and both POVs go through Edward’s first time away from the Cullens and his subsequent return. This is the most unique New Moon AU I’ve found, simply because it had never occurred to me to think about Carlisle in this mess. In Twilight, he is so contained, always so assured and perfect—Saint Carlisle. But here the author goes into his insecurities, his self-doubt, his mental haranguing regarding how he handled Edward, Bella, and their break up. It’s not that this Carlisle is any less of a good person than Canon Carlisle, it’s just that through his perspective we can see all the questions and doubts that plague him. Edward and Bella lose their soulmate when Edward leaves, but Carlisle loses his son—for the second time. That’s a terrible loss and it is handled with sympathy and realism here. There’s no smut, little real action (EPOV blows through most all the “exciting” stuff), but this is an intriguing, thoughtful portrait of a family coming apart at the seams, and steps a devoted father takes to bring them back together.
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Just Like Them” by Kaz-i-mir-6 (recommended by Tiago)
So this was rec’ed by a dude. Yup, you heard me. A GUY. Tiago sent a very nice email to the 411 inbox, admitting he was a Twi-guy, and also a reader of fanfic. Really, there’s no shame in that, for our male readers (of which there are surprisingly many). Everyone needs a guilty pleasure, and Tiago’s is Twilight and fanfiction. So anyway, Tiago rec’ed this fic, and I devoured it. It’s borderline angsty, but nothing too bad. Bella and Edward are in lecture together at Dartmouth. Edward seems pretty together, Bella, however, is a mess. She’s shy to the point of being socially crippled. She has such low self-esteem and is so insecure she almost has an anxiety disorder. She’s completely shut down, locked within her shell and showing no signs of coming out. But yet she crushes on classmate Edward. She admires from afar, convinced the fantasy of knowing Edward is better than actually knowing him because then she can’t screw up and ruin their relationship. Poor Bella. There’s not great trauma in her past, just a lifetime of small hurts and disappointments, combined with an innate shyness and reservation. She isn’t a complete sap, however. She knows she’s a little too withdrawn from humanity, and does wish to be more interactive, but there’s also a strong core of self-awareness in Bella. She may be painfully shy and insecure, but she does know herself well enough not to pretend to be something she isn’t. Even as Edward draws her out of herself, she doesn’t change her essential self for him. She just makes the effort to take the hand he’s reaching out to her. This is a lovely, slow, gentle story. Bella has a lot of issues to work out, and Edward has some of his own, but their relationship unfolds in a very realistic manner. And Edward’s determination, his patience and devotion to Bella are so sexy. I kind of feel like this fic needs some love. Over twenty chapters and only 556 reviews. So read and review for Kaz, and maybe she’ll post the next chapters sooner rather than later.
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“A Labor of Love” by Lizconno
This fic is like a 1930’s screwball comedy. I’m not sure that’s the real intention, given the rather tragic circumstances that set up the story, but it sparkles the most in its sharp Bella-Edward banter and series of mishaps and misadventures. Let’s cover the bases first. This story revolves around a homeward-bound Bella, who is leaving behind a dud relationship with James in Phoenix. Just as she’s heading home, however, she receives the devastating news that her father, Charlie, and stepmother, Sue, have died in a drunk-driving collision. Bella returns home, heartbroken, just in time for her best friend Alice’s wedding (to Jasper, of course). At the wedding Bella meets Alice’s older brother Edward, whom she has admired from afar for years, but Edward, of course, has no idea who Bella is. Edward, meanwhile, is a widower and father of four-year-old twin girls Elizabeth and Renee. He is the CEO of a mining company (“the DeBeers of precious stones”), and is a very busy man in need of a nanny. I think you see where this is going. Despite the early case of the sads (both Edward’s wife and Bella’s mother died in childbirth), this story really isn’t a bummer. Why? The dialogue is snappy and the situations somewhat outlandish. Edward has been reprimanded by his family for moping about a little too long, and so when he meets Drunky Bella at Alice’s wedding, a one night stand ensues. Throw in a case of mistaken identity and Angry Dadward, and you have hijinks. The Cullens are conspiring against Edward to hire Bella as his nanny, but Edward isn’t so sure he can handle close proximity to the ever desirable Bella. This is a pretty cool Bella, too. She’s not super modest, but I wouldn’t call her an uber-slut either. She’s best friends with Jacob, who has recently eloped with Bella’s eighteen-year-old stepsister Leah. It’s funny, trust me. Of course Edward is jealous; of course Bella doesn’t get why. It took me a few chapters to get into this story, but once the groundwork is laid things begin clicking along at a nice pace, and there are moments of touching reality. Bella has nightmares about her father, Edward struggles with feeling like he’s replacing his first wife, Angela. Things never get too sad, though, as Jacob and his ludicrous new home life intervene, or Bella and Edward engage in some verbal sparring. It’s a nice dose of pick-me-up among some of the heartfail fics I’m reading right now.
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La Canzone della Bella Cigna” by Philadelphic
All of a sudden last week everyone started recommending this story to me. Appreciate it, but I was already sucked in along with you. I’ve got several of these “Bella in music school” fics, but this is by far my favorite of the lot. Add in the fact that it’s an Alternate Universe, and I like it even more. Edward is a Cullen, he is perpetually 17, and he is a “piano prodigy”. He’s in the music conservatory as a doctoral student when 19 year old Bella enters as an undergrad to study opera. He is assigned as her accompanist, and you know the rest. He resists, she is intrigued, she discovers his secret. This is a more logical take on the world of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer tended to dispose of her own rules when they became inconvenient—Philadelphic remains consistent in her characterizations and logic. Edward is sensitive, he is gentle, he is so careful with Bella. But he is also a vampire. No matter how hard he tries, he leaves bruises. He has an appetite to consume he can’t deny (spoiler—lemons!). He does not want to change Bella, but when they are threatened with indefinite separation, he accepts it without all that puffy-shirt whining. This Bella has a lot in common with Canon Bella, but here she is more sharply defined, more independent, more fully drawn. She has real friendships outside of Edward (Jasper and Alice—you won’t believe how that goes down), and she stands up to and for Edward more decisively, I think. Here, when Edward tries to withdraw, Bella flatly refuses to let him. She does not meekly accept his leaving because she knows, without having to experience it, that she won’t make it without him. And then there’s the Volturi. This is by far my favorite characterization of Aro and crew to date. I once heard Jamie Campbell Bower (Caius, in the movies) describe the Volturi thusly: “They don’t think of themselves as evil. They aren’t evil. They’re the government. Not everyone likes the government.” That is EXACTLY how these Volturi behave. Aro is cunning, crafty, a master strategist. He wants something and is determined to get it. His relationship with Carlisle is far pricklier than anything I’ve seen in fanfiction. Aro is a despot, spoiled on his own tyranny. He was probably once a great leader, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. In order to save himself and Bella, as well as some others, from Aro and the Volturi, Edward is going to have to wage a prolonged and subtle campaign of wits and wills against Aro in Volterra, where he and Bella are going to continue to study music—under Aro’s tutelage. This is a good one—complex, deep, richly drawn. It also gets bonus points for excellent use of some beautiful opera and classical music.
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“Laid Bare” byBrits23
While still AU, LB is considerably out of character. The story opens with Bella, daddy’s little girl, at a poker night with “her boys” from the rez, drinking, smoking, fooling around with Embry. This Bella is chameleonic. For Charlie she is daddy’s little princess, for her boys she is a tough-talking, Tequila drinking bad girl. Bella isn’t a bad person, she just hasn’t decided if she’s going to be what everyone else expects her to be or if she’ll just be herself. Bella’s personality crisis starts to clear up when she begins speaking with Edward Cullen, her biology partner. LB takes some liberties with the Twilight plot. Here Edward tried to turn Rosalie so he would have a mate like Carlisle did in Esme, but his venom “didn’t work” and Carlisle ended up having to turn her. Edward is moody and a virgin, but beyond that he doesn’t have a lot in common with canon Edward. LB Edward smokes, cusses, and when Bella chooses to be changed into a vampire, though he doesn’t love her choice, Edward respects it. Gasp–Edward listens to Bella and respects her choices! LB Bella is even more out of character than Edward. Tough, no-nonsense, she strong and determined not to let vampires and werewolves push her around. No cowering and hand-wringing here. LB has a unique twist on James and Victoria that I don’t want to spoil for you. Suffice it to say, the James scene is one of the most tense I have read. And did I mention the lemons? Oh yeah–this story is super lemony. Edward and Bella get it on early and often. They have a magnetic chemistry they can’t deny, and I love that here is an Edward who does not hesitate to get what he wants. Despite their vampire/human differences, Edward and Bella are a well matched pair and they don’t waste a lot of time lamenting their differences. They just deal with their reality and are committed to doing whatever they have to in order to remain together. And man, do they really have to commit to sticking together. Laid Bare never fails to take an unexpected direction and keep me guessing with what’s next and how else fate can conspire to screw over Edward and Bella.
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“Last Rites” by Halo Jones
Halo Jones is the only ficster to make multiple appearances on my favorites list to date, but I decided to rec Last Rites first because it’s my favorite of her stories. As I’ve said before, I’m really hard on AU stories that remain somewhat in canon because in order to be interesting to me, you must take the established Twilight universe somewhere completely fresh and new. Last Rites does just that. Like Carpe Noctem & Fiat Lux, this Edward has a much more visceral, disturbing reaction to Bella. He goes in for the kill, literally, and then must make amends. He’s the same eternal seventeen-year-old living with the Cullens in Forks, but this Edward has a predilection for going to the movies alone. Also, Bella is already 19, and not a student at Forks High. There’s a twist on the parking lot scene, too. I love this story for how Bellward work their way together and then apart. The idea of Edward spending his nights on Bella’s apartment balcony, in a ratty old lawn chair, watching over her is both sad and hilarious. So is the image of Edward stalking after her, taking out his frustration on Fate’s seeming determination to kill Bella on hapless pebbles on the ground. This story is founded on individual lines from the Twilight books, which Halo Jones uses to inspire events, but then takes in a wholly new direction. Also like CN&FL, I actually like this story better than Twilight. The internal logic of this world makes more sense, the vampires actually behave like real vampires (as in, they are dangerous and capable of great violence at the drop of a hat, which they actually follow through on). In Twilight there’s a lot of talk of Edward being dangerous, but we never really see it. In Last Rites, you see it. He is a threat, even as he tries to regain some of his humanity for Bella’s sake. And the Cullens aren’t such pushovers either. Alice was recently introduced to the story and I’m really interested to see more from her as events progress. Updates are somewhat infrequent, but trust, this story is worth the wait.
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“The Letter” by changed_by_edward
In keeping with the theme today, I thought I would recommend another music-centric fic. And this one takes the cake because Edward is “EC Velvet”, rapmaster extraordinaire. That’s right. You heard me. Edward Cullen, rap star. Think Eminem—in fact, if you’re at all familiar with Eminem, Velvet’s back-story is going to sound very familiar. That said, this is an interesting fic. Superstar Edward courts shy, recovering-from-a-bad-relaysh Bella, and in his hothouse world of tours and record labels, Bella finds herself growing stronger and more independent. This is actually a pretty serious, angsty fic, but I find the idea of Edward Cullen, rap star, so funny I laugh at some point in every chapter. It’s just not the most obvious choice of career for Edward, you know? But the author really makes it work. The details in this story are solid—Bella joins Edward on tour and suffers from exhaustion, the details about the buses, the assistants, the groupies, all of it rings true. And the Bellward relationship is great, in turns they are both strong, vulnerable, angry, peaceful, supportive, scared. I have to imagine that it paints a fairly realistic portrait of what it would be like for a normal woman to fall for a super-famous guy—stressful. I recommend this story knowing it’s a little out there what with the whole rap thing, and Bella’s semi-stalkerish beginnings, but the central relationship is so well drawn, it’s worth it. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Edward throw down some mad rhymes?
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“Loner” by Nilla
This story comes with a big fat ANGST/ABUSE warning. It is clear from the very first paragraph that Edward has suffered the worst kind of sexual abuse. Now look–I hate this type of stuff. I have bailed on more stories I can count because of this kind of plotline, but for some reason I ended up giving this story a chance. It kept popping up in my searches for new stories and I read the summary several times and then, just this last weekend, decided to finally give it a shot. I read the available chapters straight through in three hours. Is this story disturbing? Yes. Edward was beaten and raped by his stepfather, James, for years before being “rescued” by the Cullens. Is this story incredible? Yes. Edward is an unstable vortex of rage and shame. He can’t bear to be touched in even the most casual of ways and his self-loathing has grown to epic proportions. He has no friends and a barely-civil relationship with his adopted family. Enter new kid in Forks Bella Swan. Despite their rocky start–Edward is really antisocial–Bella senses that there’s more to Forks High’s resident loner and “freak”. The pacing of this story is a bit slow, but true to the sad reality of many rape survivors, Edward is just not going to open up in five minutes for Bella. It takes a lot of Bella’s–and the reader’s–patience to draw Edward out of his shell. He truly believes himself to be utterly worthless, he is absolutely convinced that he is “bad” and deserves nothing. But Bella won’t give up. And Edward, despite his own instincts of self-preservation, tentatively reaches out. Bella has her own past–devastating in its own way but not nearly as brutal as Edward’s–so she can meet Edward on something of a level playing field, both dragging their traumas behind them. Yes, this story is very dark, and yes, this is a deeply damaged Edward. But there are no graphic depictions of anything except James knocking Edward around. The author handles the whole topic of sexual abuse with amazing sensitivity and care, and the product is this sad, desperately lonely Edward whose thoughts and reactions are completely believable given his circumstances. His Bella is a strong young woman, determined not to give up on him despite her own fears and insecurities. She stands up to Edward and for Edward, and I couldn’t help but do a fist pump when she decided she was going to be friends with Edward Cullen if it killed her. I put a heavy CAUTION on this story–it won’t be for everyone. But if you can deal with the darkness, this is a lovely story about forgiveness, friendship, and love. It kind of reminds me of Wide Awake.
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“The Lost Boys” byhwimsey
One of my all-time favorite fanfic Edwards. He’s sexy, he’s British, he’s a musician–sounds familiar, no? I think he borrows pretty heavily from Rob Pattinson–he plays blues-tinged music and wears a black beanie–but it all works, so I’m not complaining. “The Lost Boys” centers around an old Victorian in San Francisco occupied by Bella Swan and her friends, Rosalie and Alice. Bella is just back from a year abroad in London where she fell in love with a musician she never met, but she would listen to him play the pubs around town. Little does she know that the musician, Edward Cullen, has followed her to San Francisco, searching for the elusive muse he only glimpsed in the shadows. Edward is the front man for the indie/blues band The Lost Boys, also featuring his buddies Emmett and Jasper. This story takes the cake for romance, drama, and mystery. Edward and company end up moving into the other flat in the Victorian with Bella, and while Rose and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper, fall easily into romance, Edward and Bella predictably do not. Bella is shy, insecure, unsure of her own worth and ability to captivate a dynamic, beautiful man like Edward. And Edward is plagued by his own demons, including a battle with the remnants of a nervous breakdown. They’re attracted, of course. But Bella’s insecurities and Edward’s issues keep coming between them. The story isn’t all angst, though, not by a long shot. There’s plenty of humor–the use of the Volturi is the best out-of-character/all-human treatment I have seen. I was dying of laughter every time they popped up. And there’s a really good ghost story to boot. As I am a Dashiell Hammett fan, I loved the use ofNick and Nora Charles as ghosts who haunt the Victorian the characters live in. Edward and Bella must embark on a quest to reunite the undead lovers in the afterlife and so seal their own fate together on earth. “The Lost Boys” also features some of the best lemons around. This is a sexy, sexy Edward. He was schooled in the arts, shall we say, by a Parisian mistress! In turns sexy, sweet, hilarious, and frightening, “The Lost Boys” truly has something for everyone.
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“Love in My Box” by cosmoandmarvar
And now for something completely different. “Love in My Box” is a funny fic about awkward med-student-from-Dartmouth Edward hooking up with Berkeley girl Bella on spring break in Miami. The story is told largely in emails, but the chapters also have bits of Edward and Bella’s points of view. LiMB is written by CosmoGirl7481 (she writes the BPOV) of “Retail Therapy” fame, and her RT beta Marvar (who writes the EPOV). This story is funny. I laugh out loud at least once a chapter. Edward cracks me up. He’s very smart, very nerdy, and very literal. His tone of voice is so earnest it’s impossible to find offense with anything he says, but he says some seriously bizarre things. And while he’s described as being as beautiful as Edward is supposed to be, he has barely any experience with women and zero self-esteem. Bella is also still swimming in the shallow end, romantically, but she comes across a bit more confident overall than Edward. Although she definitely benefits from Edward’s overt interest and frequent praise. Through the emails we see Edward and Bella establishing their relationship beyond the one night stand in Miami, and their initial meeting on spring break is recounted in alternating POVs, breaking up the email exchanges. There are also a few glimpses as to what they are each doing on their respective campuses across the country in the mix, so the story is unfolding with a nice, easy pace. The balance between present and past and EPOV and BPOV is very even, and easy to follow. The emails crack me up. I think it is true that some people can express themselves more freely through writing–Edward and Bella are definitely two shy, introverted and intelligent people who probably would not talk to each other in real life as they write in their emails. It’s a really sweet relationship to watch grow. And did I mention this fic is funny? Know it all Edward always wants to send Bella informative pamphlets and Bella writes diary entries from her boobs. If you’re looking for something light and fluffy that will make you smile with each update, “Love in My Box” is for you. I really enjoy reading this one.
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Master of the Universe” by Snowqueens Icedragon
Smut alert. Domward alert. Sassy Bella alert. Your-panties-will-go-poof alert. This story has it all. In a nutshell: Young CEO and business whizkid Edward Cullen is being interviewed by Bella Swan for her university’s graduation-edition newspaper. Sparks fly, but there’s a catch. Edward is a Dominant. Is this different from The Sub & The Dom? Yes. For one, Edward and Bella are a bit younger. Bella is just graduating college, Edward is twenty-seven, I think. So really, Bella is younger. And this Bella is not a Submissive. *gasp* That’s right—she’s not. Unlike the superb and one-day-to-be-rec’ed The Sub & The Dom, Bella is not seeking out this type of relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact. It makes for an interesting Bellward dynamic, since he has to sway her to the Dark Side, and Bella must weigh her desire for Edward against her comfort-level for his lifestyle. And for the record, I am not sure this Edward is 100% a Dom. I definitely think he has control and power issues, but after reading this story twice and picking it apart with Bestie, I think being a Dom simply allows Edward to nurse some bad habits. There are some mysteries in this story. Edward has a troubled past (durr). He has issues with food and being touched, and his first sexual relationship was as a submissive to a much older woman, whom Bella calls “Mrs. Robinson”. Bella views that relationship as sexual abuse, but Edward doesn’t, and he is still in contact with Mrs. R. I foresee problems because of that. I love this story. It has hijacked my life for nearly two weeks. I just keep reading and re-reading and pondering. This is a complex and reticent Edward paired with an open and fairly frank Bella. It’s a good mix—she’s adorable. Her reactions to Edward’s lifestyle are very realistic for someone with no prior knowledge/experience of the D/S lifestyle. I highly recommend this story, but I also suggest you set aside some time to read it through without interruption. It’s a quick read and you won’t want to stop, trust me.
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“Metaphysics” by Anais Mark
“Metaphysics” is a Twilight destroyer. It’s one of those AU fics that reaffirms my complete inability to tolerate real Twilight anymore. This is a story, like La Canzone and Dead Confederates, that has been through several re-readings and picking aparts. It’s mysterious and cerebral and complicated. The story opens in 1688 in Carlisle’s point of view. He’s in London, attempting to live among humans, and he’s having a bit of a problem with one Sophie Copeland. She seems to have discovered his secret. The specifics of Carlisle’s relationship with Sophie, and her uncle William, Carlisle’s friend, are revealed in short sections scattered throughout the story. At present, there are still many questions about the precise nature of their relationship and what happened to sever it completely. In the present day, Bella Swan is a twenty-four-year-old graduate student at Queen Mary University in London, studying the poet Sophie Copeland. Aye, there’s the rub. Bella is, seven years removed from the initial danger of the Cullens, poking her nose into trouble once again. Because Carlisle corresponded heavily with both Sophie and William, prominent intellectuals of their day, and his secret remains buried in that correspondence. And here is Bella to find out, at long last, why Edward Cullen was always such a prick to her in high school. And poor Edward, who overcame both his bloodlust and lust lust for Bella, who successfully managed to remove himself from her sphere, only to be thrown together with her once again. And this time, he just can’t stay away. I love “Metaphysics” for not only its high-brow plot (the lit major in me adores all the references), but its twisting of Twilight canon. Jacob and Bella have grown up some, but Jacob is a werewolf. The Cullens reflect their canonical characterizations, but everyone is more interesting. Carlisle especially benefits from the 1688 flashbacks and seeing how he coped in the early days of his second life as he adjusted to being around people. This is a story that demands attention to detail for there is so much going on in subtle moves throughout both timelines. These Cullens will charm you, and this Bella, more mature and independent, will draw you into a complex and intriguing story.
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“The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores” by
HunterHunting
In a complete 180 from CW&IA, MoBS is a romantic comedy, albeit, one with an R-rating. On a night when she would rather be home studying for her lit class, Bella gets dragged out to a Chicago Blackhawk’s game with her mom, Renee, and step-father, Phil. Here Emmett is Bella’s step-brother and a professional hockey player on the Blackhawks. While she likes Emmett, it is clear that brainy Bella does not rate his intelligence very highly, and she often expresses her opinion that he is a hockey whore. She also has strong opinions about hockey hookers, or puck bunnies, the girls who get glammed up to sit in a thirty-six degree arena and hopefully go home with a hockey player. Bella has zero desire to be a hockey hooker, until she meets Emmett’s teammate Edward Cullen. At first she kinda blows him off, but then he evinces a little literary knowledge and she’s hooked. Unlike CW&IA, which dragged out the unresolved sexual tension for over twenty chapters, MoBS gets right to the smut. This is a funny story. Bella is snarky and independent and has a tendency to just blurt out everything in her mind. Edward is the top player in the NHL, but he’s not all his reputation leads one to believe, at least off the ice. He’s also a little bit of a stalker. And he’s Canadian, which leads to a running gag involving the word “beaver”. This story is only thirteen chapters in (it updates regularly on Wednesdays), so we’ve only just skimmed the surface of the characters. Renee is crazy, Phil is a minor-league hockey coach and exuberant sports dad, Jasper is the Blackhawks goalie and Edward’s only real friend on the team, and Alice is Bella’s best friend. Beyond this, characterizations are still developing and some connections have yet to develop. It’s early days yet, but this story is so worth it. We can always use more funny fics, and this one makes me laugh at least once a chapter. In contrast to CW&IA Edward, who was all swagger and brass, MoBS Edward is more reserved, more anxious, and a little too concerned with his image. And MoBS Bella is no emo moper. She’s sassy, really intelligent, and outspoken. She gets in over her head with Edward a little in the beginning, but she never backs down and she makes Edward work for her trust. She’s justifiably nervous about getting involved with a famous hockey player, especially one with Edward’s reputation, but this Bella will not be intimidated. This is a fun, sexy story, and if you haven’t joined Team Hockey Whore yet, do yourself a favor and read MoBS. It’ll make your Wednesdays better.
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“Mr. Horrible” by algonquinrt
To make up for rec’ing one of the saddest fics ever, here is one of the funniest. I don’t even know how to explain this one. You know those screwball comedies of the Thirties, like Bringing Up Baby? This is kind of the fanfic equivalent of that. Edward “Rich Kid” Cullen is an internet millionaire who falls for Bella “Baby Swan” Swan, who is an aspiring writer. Hilarity ensues. This fic wins the Best Use of James/Victoria/Laurent award, with special notice going to the fantastic Laurent. His white-trash-cook-off with Bella is inspired, and for a character who says little, he accomplishes much in effect. Winning for Best Use of an Original Character is Grandma Platt, Esme’s nine-hundred-year-old, socialite grande dame, possible-closet-alcoholic mother. Grandma Platt makes my life. There’s a unique twist on the Bellward relationship, especially how Bella handles the issue in cake-form, and I laughed all the way through this story. There are some elements which are less than funny. Bella has issues with Edward’s money, which I believe any self-respecting woman would have. There is that unique twist they must deal with. They have to reconcile their disparate friends (Emmett the conspiracy theorist!) and deal with their own, “Maybe we’re too young for all this” insecurity. But this story is by no means angsty. It’s pure long-form comedy. I’ve re-read it a couple times and laughed just as hard on the second reading as I did on the first. It’s almost complete, and algonquinrt is teasing a sequel to come, which hopefully will continue the hilaritude. Definitely read “Mr. Horrible”, if for no other reason than to learn to what the title refers.
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“My Yes, My No” by lolashoes
This story is a little tough to introduce. It’s by Lola Shoes, who you all know is a terrific writer, so right away you know it’s a good story. It’s basically an AU take on New Moon, but it tells the story in parallel arcs. In one story line, Bella tells Edward that yes, she can let him back in her life. In the other, she says no, that he needs to give her time and space to come to terms with his leaving. Chapter 1 starts it all off, then the even-numbered chapters tell the “My No” story while the odd chapters follow the “My Yes”. At chapter 10 the story converges once again. Does that make sense? Basically, read chapter 1, then read all the even chapters. Then read chapter 1 again, followed by all the odd chapters. Oh just read the damn story. I have a big problem with Twilight, and that’s how easily Bella rolls over for Edward. I know they have this epic untouchable love, but I always struggled with how easily Bella forgives Edward. She never takes him to task for thinking for her, not of her! Ridiculous. I get that she’s selfless and generous and blah blah, but any self-respecting young woman is going to stop her ex-lover and say, “Hey, you really hurt me, and we need to deal with that.” But no, Bella just pants at him and gets dazzled and all is well. I just can’t quite like that. So I appreciate stories that attempt to flesh out the issue of Bellward reuniting. There’s a lot of pain and misunderstanding there. Even if they’re both willing to forgive, it doesn’t mean there aren’t still things to talk about and consider. I like seeing that struggle worked out, and so far this is my favorite take on it. Bella is still in love with Edward, she still wants him forever, but she’s realistic about dealing with him again, after his long absence. And Edward has gone crazy without Bella and doesn’t pussyfoot around about being with her again. He knows what he wants and he’ll beg on his knees to get it back. It’s an intriguing premise worked out by a good writer. Give it a read and let me know which storyline you prefer—yes or no? And oh yeah, Edward’s a talker. You know, a talker. Hot.
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“The Naked Guy Upstairs” by AngryBadgerGirl
Bella moves into a new apartment at the beginning of her senior year at Harvard. Due to a troublesome wi-fi connection, she goes upstairs to meet her neighbor and ask about his internet connection. That neighbor turns out to be Edward Cullen, naked guy, and a doctor in his last year as an OB/GYN resident at a prestigious Boston hospital. Let that sink in for a moment. Edward Cullen…gynecologist… Can you imagine his waiting list? After an initially poor impression (Edward thinks Bella is a prude, Bella thinks Edward is a manwhore—a threesome is implied), Edward and Bella begin to see there is more to their new neighbor than they originally thought. And Edward is pretty emotionally stunted, but there’s a reason for it, and his emotional growth is kind of funny and adorable—he’s so clueless about his own feelings. Rosalie and Alice are Bella’s best friends and they’re pretty loud and profane but provide some solid laughs. TNGUS, as Bella calls Edward, is a man alone here—Emmett and Jasper are Bella’s friends, not his. As a resident doctor in a competitive hospital, Edward is determined to impress his boss, Aro, so that he can receive the coveted promotion from resident to staff doctor (or whatever you call a doctor that’s no longer a resident—I don’t know these things). In order to do this, he asks Bella to be his date to work functions, and in return for this favor, Bella asks Edward for a special favor in return. And thus their “arrangement” is born. Twitter plays a part in this story. Bella has a habit of drunktweeting her feelings (who doesn’t?) and Edward makes a routine of tweet-spying on her. The Twitter updates throughout the story are pretty hilarious, and the screen names are funny, too. Edward is @DrWhoHaHa.
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“She’s Royal” by halojones
This is my second rec of a halojones story–she’s one of my favorites. “Last Rites” has destroyed my ability to read the real Twilight (along with Philadelphic’sspectacular “La Canzone”), but before “Last Rites” there was my first halojones–“She’s Royal”. The story begins in Hawaii and ends in Washington/Oregon. While on vacation with his family to celebrate his college graduation (in true Edward fashion, he did it one year early, at 21), Edward Cullen meets a girl while cliff diving at Waimea. She turns out to be Bella Swan, a college student spending her vacation in Hawaii, too. But this is more than just a romantic vacation story. In “She’s Royal” Edward and Alice have the same abilities they did in Twilight. Alice has dreams that can become reality and she often goes out of her way to manipulate events to synchronize with her visions. And Edward doesn’t read thoughts precisely; it’s more like he absorbs all the subliminal information about a person through their tone of voice and gestures. This “gift” has weighed heavily on him, causing him to withdraw from the world–except for his family–because solitude is the only respite he has from the constant bombardment of people’s “true” meanings. And Bella’s gift is an intriguing combination of the canon idea of her being a “shield” and also her belief when she first changes into a vampire in Breaking Dawn that maybe her gift is to love Edward more than anything. The contrast of physically beautiful Edward and the real, shy inner person is very sweet. Bella is put off by her first impression of him, walking through a club with a harem trailing after him, but she soon learns he’s just as awkward and innocent as she is. And with Edward the usually bookish, quiet Bella becomes more adventurous, more open and more daring. It’s very sweet and subtle, with the extra layer of their mysterious gifts. But then of course Edward does what Edward always does and they have to find their way back together. If I have any complaint about this story, it’s the frequent shifts in POV. It probably would have been a bit easier to follow if the story was told in third-person omniscient, but after a few chapters you get used to following along. And this gentle, whimsical story is well worth a read.
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“Sleepers, Awake: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme” by Fiesty Y Beden
Are you a wussperv? You should probably skip this one. I’m going to ruin it for you: This story revolves around Edward Cullen’s death. If you can’t deal, go read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It’s funny, and you’ll be that much more prepared for the inevitable onslaught of brains-hungry undead. “Sleepers, Awake” is beautiful. It’s an elegiac tale of grief and what it means to really live. A couple years out of college and freshly dropped-out from a graduate art program, Bella—who lives in Boston and is so petrified of flying she hasn’t been back to Forks since she left high school—learns that her first and only love, Edward Cullen, has died in a plane crash. Wracked with grief because now Edward can never know her, Bella returns to Forks for the memorial and the weirdness sets in. This is a very original plot. Yes, it is terrifically sad, and yes, you will probably cry (I did). Bella’s whole life has been about “becoming someone” so that she can be worthy of Edward. Although she has romantic dreams, her more realistic hope is just that he would simply know who she is. It’s so sad it’s almost pathetic, but Bella is so earnest about this, and so cognizant of her own pathetic nature, that you don’t pity her. Instead you cheer her on as she begins conquering fears and insecurities, especially because she does it even though it’s too late. Or is it? Because you see, Bella has these dreams. And sometimes what happens in these dreams seems to affect her waking life. So while she moves through real life trying to come to grips with Edward’s loss—there are lovely interactions with Alice and Jasper—she seeks sleep to follow a more proactive course in her dreams. Because maybe… You just need to read it. Extra points for the creative use of Alice, and super extra bonus points for my favorite Rosalie ever. Rose is awesome, her friendship with Bella is so special, and given the canon function of Rose and Bella having a prickly relationship, I appreciate Fiesty Y Beden taking it in such an original direction. Does this story have a happy ending? Kinda. If you have to have the fairytale, Google the German at the end that Rosalie doesn’t know. Otherwise, the resolve is as beautiful and sad and real and hopeful as the rest of the story.
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The Rain Season” by elusivetwilight 
The newest addition to my favorites list, “The Rain Season” makes the cut thanks to two words: “Tattward” and “Kiltward”. That’s right—Edward has tattoos (of a Celtic nature), and he wears a kilt. Shirtless! This is an AU/AH story rated mature and lemons come in later chapters, and also Edward has a pretty filthy mouth.
Bestie blew this story off because Edward wears a kilt. Her loss. The Cullens are in Scotland for Rose and Emmett’s wedding, and a traumatized Bella (seriously, when isn’t she traumatized?) comes to stay with them. There is much wearing of kilts. Alice retains her ability to see the future. Bella is a sad-sack, but she’s realistically drawn and makes an effort to not be such a sad-sack, so it’s tolerable. Mostly, this story gives good Edward. He’s profane and earthy and tattooed and wears a kilt, and that’s fuckhawt. His own past issues give him some ground for dealing with Bella’s shit, and their interactions are sweet and sad and sometimes funny. I give this fic points for not being set in Forks or Chicago. Scotland makes for a wild, moody backdrop that suits the tone perfectly, and of course, allows for Kiltward. And since the author actually lives in Scotland, it all rings true in the details. This fic deserves some attention, so read it, review it, and then let me know if you like TattKiltWard as much as I do.
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“Relative Wind” byMac214
DILF alert. This is one of those stories I’d been seeing in my fic searches forever and one day I caved and read it. Loved it. Bella’s best friend and roommate Mike Newton is about to move across the country. To celebrate and say farewell, Bella lets Mike talk her into going sky diving. Guess who her dive instructor is? Yep. Edward. They meet, he harnesses her up, she cracks and D/S joke, sparks fly. But after a zesty lemon in the drop zone break room, Edward is called away and Bella slips out. Now roommate-less, Bella interviews potential new flat mates. Enter Alice Cullen. A little uptight, a little hyper, at first Alice seems all right. Then her dad comes over to help her move in and all hell break loose. Because it turns out Edward is Alice’s dad and he’s twenty years older than Bella. !!! Don’t worry, it’s not gross. The age issue is handled in a realistic fashion. Edward and Bella go through things I think anyone would when dating outside their generation. But they have crazy chemistry, and Edward, who stuck out a passionless marriage and nursed his wife through cancer, is hella attractive. I’d totally break my ten-year rule for him. Athletic, adventurous, housebroken. What more could a girl want? Then there’s Alice. What starts out as reasonably normal devolves into manipulative and borderline cruel. You will love to hate this Alice. Judgmental, stuck up, insufferable–I am praying she gets her what’s coming to her. On the one hand, the author does give legitimate grounds for Alice to be upset about Edward and Bella’s relationship. Bella is the first woman Edward has died since Alice’s mother died, and Bella is Alice’s own age. Okay, yeah, that’s going to take some adjusting. But Alice is conniving and downright mean–there’s a hurt coming for Alice and quite frankly, I think she deserves it. This story shuffles some relationships around. Esme is Bella’s older sister, obsessed with STDs, Leah is dating Eric Yorkie, and Emmett and Rosalie are another May-December love story, though their age difference isn’t as steep as Edward and Bella’s. This is a funny fic driven by a straightforward Bella. The whole issue of age and love is dealt with realistically, but overall the story is light and sexy with some pretty hilarious plotlines.
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“Retail Therapy” by cosmogirl7481
Since the first story I rec’ed is sort of heavy, I decided to keep the lighter of my original planned rec’s for this week to go along with it. A dose of champagne to chase the heavy draft, if you will. “Retail Therapy” is one of Bestie’s rec’s. She gets really nervous about recommending stories to me, which makes no sense, because she’s never wrong. This story isn’t straight fluff but isn’t total angst either. Career-driven Bella meets Edward one night in a bar, has a one-night stand, thinks she’ll never see him again, then–surprise–runs into him again. Except maybe it wasn’t such a surprise to Edward. This is a strong Bella. She’s capable and willful, but very intelligent and has a wry sense of humor. It’s no wonder Edward falls for her so completely. Their relationship unfolds pretty realistically, given the circumstances. Bella is an up-and-coming young executive with her company, an upscale department store called Fineley’s (my dad managed a department store when I was young, so I really get a kick out of the details of Bella’s job). She’s goal-oriented and very Type A, and super defensive when people assume she has slept the way to the top (her boss is the handsome Michael Newton–my guess puts him in his mid-to-late thirties). Edward is vaguer about his job, just saying he works in “investment” and his family has a charitable foundation. Though it can get a bit heavy between Bella and Edward, there are some lighthearted moments throughout, making for a nice, swingy tone in the story. I have really enjoyed this one over the last few weeks, especially as Edward’s big secret (when doesn’t Edward have a secret?) has come to light. I can’t wait to see how Bella reacts when she confronts him. One thing about this Bella, she speaks her mind. It makes for a highly entertaining read. If you’re looking for something fluffy but with an edge, “Retail Therapy” is for you.
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“Tropic of Virgo” by In.a.blue.bathrobe
Seriously, why did it take me so long to review this fic? I love this story! I’ve read it probably half a dozen times. This is my favorite fic featuring the Cullens in a band, and it’s my all-time second favorite high school fic, second only to “Wide Awake” (which is like saying I like ponies, but only because I can’t actually own a unicorn). I once described this story to Bestie as, “They’re in high school, but also, they’re in a band.” And that pretty much sums it up. Except not really. Carlisle and Esme are newlyweds who kids date (canon pairings) and also make up the jazz/rock band Breaking Dawn. In my head, this band is like The Decemberists—madly talented, lots of different members, very hipster. Bella moves into Forks and it turns out she can sing (like Sarah McLachlan in my mind), and she gets drawn into Breaking Dawn. Except she has terrible stage fright. Last relevant plot point is that Bella has an online pen pal with whom she shares her writing, and Edward has an online pen pal, too, so…I think you can figure that out before Bella and Edward do. I love this story. Alternately funny, angsty, lemony, and with serious music knowledge infused throughout. Music lovers will love this fic just for all the references thrown down (Rosalie plays a red Gibson SG—perfect, right?). Bella and Edward do the usual “I like you but I shouldn’t” dance, with miscommunications and misunderstandings galore. There’s a dollop of mystery mixed in, and the story follows most Twilight conventions. This story wins points for an excellent use of Jasper. He plays bass while wearing red long johns and cowboy boots. How cool is that? Bonus points for this fic being complete. If you’ve followed me on twitter for a while, you’ve probably seen me rec this story before. It’s one of my all-time faves, one of the first fics I ever read. If you haven’t read this one yet, do so. It’s one of the best-written fics out there, with one of the most enjoyable casts of characters. Oh, and Tanya is, well….just read it. It’s pretty funny how the Cullens get “revenge.” Also, there’s a sequel of sorts going, or maybe a re-telling, called “Tropic of Gemini”—it’s the same group of Cullens but it’s Jasper and Alice’s story.
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“Wide Awake” by AngstGoddess003
This was not the first fanfic I read. I read the real-life ficQuiet and the New Moon AU The Dark Side of the Moon in one weekend, and I liked those stories, but I didn’t immediately fall into a fanfic addiction. And then someone said, “Have you read Wide Awake? It’s amazing.” So I read it. And two days later I surfaced, a changed person. Wide Awake is authored by AngstGoddess003, through whom I learned of The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster, and at that point I was injecting the heroin straight into my eyeball. From that lovely site I got all my first fanfic rec’s. And it is all because of Wide Awake that I got hooked, and to this day it is Wide Awake I want newbies to read first. Because Wide Awake is not fanfic. I repeat, it is NOT fanfic. It is…an online novel. What sets this story apart? For one thing, it is exceptionally well written. For another, well it’s kind of like porn. You just know it when you see it. You know when you read a story that it’s going beyond just a reimagining or retelling of a story already told. Wide Awake does that. A few chapters in and you’re thinking, “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” This story is so good that after all the fics I’ve read, there has only been one that I can even remotely begin to consider as maybe being almost as good as this one (that other one being MotU).
Quick rundown: Edward and Bella, both traumatized high school students, are insomniacs. Despite a prickly beginning, the two begin to gravitate toward one another, and eventually they discover they can actually sleep—so long as they have each other to curl up with. At first it’s platonic, then it becomes more, then they’re discovered, then they have to face their pasts. Bella and Edward are both deeply traumatized, but Edward at least can function. Bella is so crippled by her experiences she literally cannot bear to be touched, and Edward, secretly sweet boy that he is, works slowly with her to help her regain that part of herself. Of course, part of what makes this story so spectacular is its realism—even at the end Edward and Bella are not A-OK. They’ve been through the sort of traumas that leave lasting, permanent marks. They will be working on overcoming for a lifetime. But, they do make progress. Together they manage put some pieces back together, and Bella, though she’s left a long way from a “full” recovery, is living a pretty normal life with Edward. And Edward, who at first seems to willing to throw it all away, is pursuing a bright future. So, it’s not all sunshine and daisies, but Wide Awake isn’t all doom and gloom, either. It’s just real. And, it has leant some of the best vocabulary to the Twi-fandom. Unicorns. Shiny fucking curls. Red Bella and White Bella. Plus, each chapter is titled after one of Bella’s cookie-creations, and there are recipes for many of them on the LJ. Be sure to check that out. It’s hard to say exactly what about this story sets it apart from all others. It’s a combination of the writing, the realism, the devotion of Edward and Bella, the uniqueness of the story line (this fic comes before so many others that try to trod the same path), and the characters. There are just so many wonderful little things that combine to make Wide Awake something really special and unique. And honestly, the more fics you read the more this story is set apart. It just is different from all the rest. It’s not just fanfic. It’s something else entirely.
PS: Though this story is very intense and there are some scenes of violence, there is no rape/self-harm. Wide Awake is dark, yes, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.
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The Woods Are Lovely, Dark, and Deep” by bananapancakes7 
This story owns my ass lately. It’s AU and rated mature, though it isn’t particularly lemony at this point. It’s definitely grown up, though. Bella has some issues thanks to a traumatic episode, and Edward is beyond traumatized. So why do I like this story, and think you should read it? It’s exceedingly well written. Lovely poetry references, especially Robert Frost, which one would expect with that title. Bella is very likeable. Bella can make or break a story, and this Bella is one that comes through strong and capable, yet is still haunted by past events and is dealing with her own shit, even as she tries to reach Edward inside his misery-bubble. It makes excellent use of secondary characters, and adds a couple really cool original characters. And this Edward—you’re going to want to spoon him so bad. He needs it. He is Spoonward.
“The Woods” is set at a lodge outside Forks, from which Charlie has retired as police chief. He arranges for stressed-out Bella to take a vacation there and get some rest and relax in the quietude of Forks. She goes, meets Doris the charming, somewhat pushy/nosy innkeeper, and settles in only to find the person across the hall from her has loud nightmares. Enter Edward. Twilight conventions are maintained. Edward blows her off, keeps his distance, and saves her from traffic. Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory are obnoxious ho-bags, but are used to superb comic effect. There’s an older gentleman-guest who plays chess and says eerie things about the woods, Mr. Miller.
About the woods. The summary for this story states that “there will be vampires”. To date, exactly how vampires tie in to the story is a mystery. That’s the best word for this fic: “mysterious”. Mr. Miller’s creeptastic warnings about the woods around Forks and the slow unraveling of Edward’s past added to the promise of vampires makes for an intriguing story. The sharp dialogue and genuinely funny scenes involving Jessica and Lauren keep it from being slit-your-wrists angsty. Give it a read.
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“The Unaccompanied Soul” by JMCullen09
I flipped the fuck out after reading this story. I was browsing through my latest fic search, saw this interesting title with its dark banner and mysterious summary and decided to give it a go. Lately new fics have either been striking me as awesome or horrible, so I wasn’t sure how this one would play out. I read it. I sat and stared into space for ten minutes after finishing it. Then I read it again. Then I flipped the fuck out. I usually hesitate to recommend a story with less than 10 chapters, but I can’t wait on this one. I’m currently on my third read-through and am pulling it apart, looking for clues and foreshadowing. The plot is built largely on a mystery, so pardon the vague summary. Bella and Alice, on the cusp of heading off to college, get invited to hang out with Rosalie and Jasper Hale and the cool kids one Friday night. Despite Bella’s misgivings, they head to an abandoned mental hospital (I can’t help but envision The Frighteners set) to check out if the local rumors of a haunting are true. Bella gets separated from the group and hits her head and then… Well. I can already tell we’re not going to like learning about Edward, so let’s put an ANGST/ABUSE warning on this story. That said, the treatment of everything from the mental hospital to Edward has been amazingly sensitive and respectful, so I don’t think this will be a blood and guts story. But it will be angsty, and it will be difficult. But it’s also beautiful. The thing with Edward and Lancelot–I was kind of choked up for real reading it. Not once but twice! It’s such a small thing but the care in detailing it makes it everything. I am picking this story apart obsessively because I know there are little things already that will become big deals down the road. I really can’t emphasize enough how much you all need to be reading this fic. It’s special.
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The University of Edward Masen” by SebastienRobichaud
This is the story I linked to from Snowqueens Icedragon’s profile. And good lord. I don’t think I did any work for two straight hours. Just read. This story is beyond description. Maybe the most wildly intriguing thing I’ve read since Carpe Noctem & Fiat Lux. Like that story, I totally spazzed when I got my first University update. I squealed a little, I admit it. This is the douchiest Edward ever. At this point in time, I am actively rooting against him. He is such a Prickward! I am so Team Peter right now (read, it will make sense). To the standard, Edward is troubled. Obviously, he has anger issues. The exact reasons for this are still not clear. In fact, this story is chock full of mystery. What’s on Edward’s bedroom wall, what really happened in the meadow, who is the “him” in Bella’s past and what precisely did he do. The list goes on. This is a very mysterious story. Still, Edward’s attitude and behavior is so petty, priggish and hateful that even knowing he has issues I can’t be on his side right now. Maybe in the future as the story develops, but not yet. He doesn’t deserve it yet. You know who does deserve reader support and love? Bella. She is sweet, young, kind. She’s everything Canon Bella was supposed to be, minus the obnoxious self-absorption and whining. This Bella doesn’t whine. She makes the best of what little she’s got. I love this Bella. She might be my favorite Bella yet. Near the top of the list, anyway. The big draw for this story is unraveling Edward and Bella’s pasts. Why is Edward so angry and mean, and what happened to Bella back in Seattle? For some reason, she stopped talking to Alice, her high-school BFF, and she refers to some guy negatively as “him”. So clearly there’s a story. But there’s also the question of whether or not Bella and Edward may have known each other back in the day. It’s all a mystery, with heaping sexual tension thrown on top. Edward is a bit older in this one. Grad student Bella is 23, and while Edward’s age isn’t stated yet, I am assuming he’s at least ten years older. So there’s some older man/younger woman stuff happening, but the bigger tension comes from the fact that Edward is Professor Masen, Bella’s thesis advisor. Giant no-no there. But clearly he likes her, and he’s covetous, oh, so deliciously covetous of Bella. “Angelfucker” is my new favorite term (read, it will make sense). Read this story. Then read it again. Then come tell me if you’re Team Edward, Team Peter, or maybe even Team Michael?
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The Vampire in the Basement” by michellephants
This is one of the most intriguing concepts in all of Twilight fanfiction. It’s built on canon roots—the Cullens are vampires who live in Forks and go to high school, Bella is a human, she and Alice are best friends. Everyone has their special vamp-gift, all canon pairings exist. The major change is Edward. He doesn’t start out with the Cullens, but since the entire story revolves around his origins, I’ll just skip all that to save from spoiling it. What I like about this story: First and foremost, this is a kickass Bella. She is strong and smart, determined to the best thing for Edward, and while accident prone, she isn’t helpless (something Stephenie Meyer had a hard time separating). Also, the Carlisle/Edward relationship is intriguing. Fanfiction often presumes that they have an established history because that’s how it is in canon, but here michellephants gets to develop their unique bond from scratch. It’s done with such delicacy and finesse—Carlisle is totally his canonical self but Edward is quite different, yet they are establishing the same sort of father/son, mentor/mentee (is that a word?) relationship we know from the books. I’m late to the party with this fic—a lot of people have read it, but since I just found it, I will assume there are those of you out there who haven’t read it yet, either. This story is complicated and intense, but it represents one of the most deep and beautiful Bella/Edward relationships out there. I rank this Bellward right up there with the Wide Awake Bellward (Wide Awake being the standard for all other fanfiction, of course). The Vampire in the Basement is so complex and mysterious it can be frustrating waiting for updates, but it’s so worth it.
July 10th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
“How to Save a Life” has been removed!! I’m so sad that I won’t get to finish that story. Does anyone happen to have saved it as a WORD or PDF doc? Would you please let me know? My email is: laylamo@yahoo.com
Thank you so much!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
O O she reposted it’s on ff I just read it last week
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6249615/1/How_To_Save_a_Life_Repost
: )
August 25th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Anyone happen to have a copy of “Poughkeepsie,” by Mrs. TheKing? I’ve heard it’s really good, but is no longer on FF. Any help is greatly appreciated! Please email me: florar@yahoo.com
Thanks in advance!
August 26th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Sorry I mis-typed my email address. The correct one is: florar80@yahoo.com. Thanks again!
August 25th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
http://poughkeepsiemtk.blogspot.com/
details*
September 23rd, 2010 at 12:17 am
[...] FanFic Reviews from KStew411 [...]
September 23rd, 2010 at 5:42 am
Oh thank you , thank you so much , for this reviews, i’b read almost half of what ou post, but the other i will red soon .this is great.
September 24th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
I have read a LOT of the stories on your list. Wide Awake and Tropic of Virgowere some of the first ones I ever read. I have been reading and glued to The Unaccompanied Soul. It is amazing !
I HAVE to rec these stories. They have owned me as hard as WA, TOV and TUS.
Dead on my Feet by Cesca Marie http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6007656/1/ ,
Camisado by Sophz456 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5817208/1/