Tag Archives: books

Cosmopolis Book Club — Let’s Not Understand the Book Together

First off, take a look around. New blog layout, oh yeah! I got some more things I want to implement, but this was the biggest part and it is done. I haven’t changed since I started this blog way back in February of 2009 (whoa!) so it was a long time coming.

As I promised last week, it’s book club time! Since Rob pretty much only does movies based on books, I feel like we get to do this a bunch. And I pretty much love it cause I love book clubs. They rule.

And of course, this time we are gonna read Cosmopolis, a book that has gotten some, well, not so good reviews. Which I kind of hate because 1) we are already starting off on a bad foot and 2) it’ll probably be confusing. I mean, let’s get real, I pretty much only read young adult and fan fiction, so serious adult books are not my typical fare.

But hey, let’s all not understand the book together!

So, here is the plan:

Cosmopolis is divided into 4 chapters, but the chapters are LONG, so we are gonna spend the next 4 weeks (starting next Monday) reading 1 chapter each week. On each Monday of the week, I’ll write up some of my thoughts on the book, and then you all can share your own in the comments. Hopefully we can get some good discussions and maybe, just maybe, understand the book and the story line just a little bit better.

I can picture this in a limo!


Oh, and figure out approximately how many times Rob may or may not be having sexy times. Cause really, we do have priorities here.

Here’s a little schedule in case you made some kind of New Year’s resolution to be super organized:

  • Chapter 1 Recap – January 17
  • Chapter 2 Recap – January 24
  • Chapter 3 Recap – January 31
  • Chapter 4 Recap - February 7

So, are you ready? Get a copy of the book now from Amazon or your favorite book retailer. Or maybe the library. Where ever! Just do it and do it now. And get to reading!

Mini disclaimer… if you click that link and order from Amazon, I get a teeny, tiny portion of the purchase price. It all goes into the up keep of the blog, but I figure I should tell you. :)


This shizz was hard to write! @TheShagDaddy’s (Sort of) Review of Water for Elephants

So, the blog was a little short. I decided I’d be a good wifey slash blogging partner in crime and help beef this up with some of my own commentary sprinkled throughout. Enjoy.

Every time I do a blog for Amber I go nuts trying to think of what I’m going to write. This time has been no different. My

Oh look! It's TheShagDaddy's fave #WFE pic!

thoughts on Water for Elephants keep coming out more like a book report and I don’t want to do that. So let’s try this approach instead:

Read this book! Do it, do it now! There’s a woman who plays with her titties as a side show (Of course this would be the first thing he mentions. Gah. Boys.), a possibly well hung dwarf caught jerking it on a train, and an elephant that may or may not be as dumb as a pile of bricks. There are also fun Twi-related things to watch out for: Jacob, Edward, Hale, spider monkeys, virgin, and a frickin’ fade to black! (Yeah. The fade to black blows. I mean, not throw your book across the room blowing like in Breaking Dawn, but still. BOO!)

To be honest, I couldn’t relate to this book at all. Which is weird because I couldn’t stop reading and had no real reason to press on. I’ve never lost my parents or had a major freak out at college. I can’t recall ever hopping aboard a circus train and I know for certain I have never shoveled horseshit. (I’ve stepped in it. I bet TSD has too. It’s inevitable when you live in this part of the country.) I never fell in love with a co-worker’s wife (Um, good.), contemplated murder and have him kick the living hell out of me (even though I deserve an ass kicking, no reason in particular (THIS is so true.)). And finally, I have not yet left my retirement home to runaway with the circus. (There’s still time.)

And here is mine!!!

For the record, I did cry at parts of this book. (Um, you’d have to be heartless not to.) I also laughed, cried again, got angry, and (not to weird anybody out) got turned on a time or two (I’m totally weirded out.). Sorry if any spoilers make you not want to read the book, but I don’t think knowing some things will make the book any less better than it is.

And in conclusion, Rob keep making movies based on books so that I may continue reading instead of finding jacked up pics on the interwebs. (Can I get an AMEN?!?)

Leave TSD some love in the comments. He’s an attention whore. He’ll love it!


Oprah Wants to Talk to Twihards? Here is my Non-Submission!

Apparently Oprah finally caught on that Twilight is kind of a big deal. It only took her about 2 years longer then everyone else. And of course now that Oprah is digging Twilight, that means my mom is probably gonna be all over this like white on rice. Yeah, my mom listens to Oprah. If Oprah says jump, she says how high.

Anyway, I am soooo NOT submitting my name in this business. It’s bad enough my mom knows the extent now, I don’t need the whole world knowing. But hey, the questions seemed kind of fun (at least my answers to them did) so I thought I’d do all the paperwork and submit it to you guys, cause that’s way more fun then sending it to Oprah.

Are you or your kids obsessed with the Twilight series?

Who loves TWILIGHT?!?!

Um yeah, but just a little bit. I mean, in all actuality, I’ve only read the series like 3 times through. And my kids? Well, the girl is still too young. And the boy is Team Jacob. I’m not really on speaking terms with him on that issue right now. (P.S. He’s 4.)

Have you or your kids read all the books, seen both movies and now you are counting down the days until the release of Eclipse?

No Oprah, I’m obessesed but haven’t even finished the series or seen the movies. C’mon now, this question is laaaame. And of course I’m counting down the days to Eclipse. It’s just a few days after the first time I witness the Rob in person. Priorities people!

Have you already made plans for the release of the newest movie in June?

LegHitch 2010 is planned and tickets bought. It is so on Oprah! So. On.

Who’s your family’s favorite Twilight star…and why?

Who is my favorite star? Hmmmm…. Gah, I just can’t decide. Maybe that Rob Patterson character. Yeah, that works.

Why do you love the story so much?

The insightful and awe-inspiring writing by Stephenie Meyer? Yeah….

How has it impacted your life?

Let’s see, in the pocketbook area ::pulls out calculator and does some quick math, cringes:” yeah, there is a serious lack of the dough thanks to this movies. And let’s not even go down the path of hours lost on the blog, Twitter, reading blogs, setting up Google Alerts, hanging up my Rob calendar…. but yes, the impact has been great.

What have you learned from the series and how has it made you a better person?

I’ve learned that vampires sparkle, and while being one of the most sexually erotic beings in existence, no means no for them as well. Oh, and I’ve learned how to hide things much better. I don’t know if little white lies about my love for a teen romance series have made me a better person, but they sure have eliminated the odd stares and smirks the people will give me since they think all Twihards are crazy. And well, they aren’t totally wrong.

Are you a housewife who’s started a fan club with friends?

Gah, fan clubs are lame. Blogging is all the rage. And tweeting. C’mon, you can’t tell me that Twilight isn’t one of the big reasons for the massive increase in tweets. Well, maybe Twilight and Justin Beiber. ::shudders::

Has the romance in Twilight sparked the romance in your own relationship?

Maybe not in Twilight per se, but all the fan fiction has. Most definitely. Yep, ask TheShagDaddy. ::winks::

Alright y’all, I may not be throwing my name in for this (which is good cause you all know I’d win) but I will not judge if you want to enter. Just go here and answer her bazillion questions. Then promise you’ll take me as your guest. I’ll sit in the audience quietly, point at you and say,  ”Can you believe this chick?” And then we can squee and drink beers. Yep, I have it all planned out.


Other Things That Get Me All Excited Pants Besides Rob

I bet you didn’t know there was other stuff besides Rob that get me so excited. Okay, okay…. In all honesty there is very little that gets me as excited as new Rob pictures (well, good ones at least), but there are several things that I am totally in love with that make me squee like a 11 year old fangirl who just spotted TayTay sans shirt.

1. New How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory or True Blood Shows

BBT "New Moon" interpretation... cause everything relates back to Twilight. EVERYTHING.

Nothing makes me happier then cuddling up in my blankie and watching HIMYM, Big Bang or (my TRUE indulgence!) True Blood! Why? Cause I love laughing, love nerds and love smexing vampires. Each ones makes me equally giddy and uber excited!

P.S. Did you know that NPH is on Twitter? Well he is… @ActuallyNPH. Duh.

2. Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

I love shoes of all kinds. High heels, boots, flats, tennis shoes, sandals… all of them! Of course, my kids with their need to eat and have electricity keep me from going too crazy with buying the shoes, but I am a crazy online window shopper! One of my fave sites to window shop through… Must Have Shoes!

3. Books! Lots of Books!

I know, I know. I read a lot of fan fiction. More then I really even want to admit. But I also like lots of books, especially getting in on a new series (since I was late to the Twilight books, I want to be ahead of the game on others!). Can’t miss books I’ve been loving….The Hunger Games (so far, 2 books out with 1 on the way), Hush, Hush (1 book so far with 1 on the way) and, of course, the Sookie Stackhouse Series (10 books with 1 on the way).

Next on the reading list…. Shiver. Another series that I’ve heard good things about. Squee!

4. Finding a Musician Before Anyone Else

Thanks to Twilight, I’ve rekindled my long lost love of music. And I’m starting to become one of those Indie turds that only wants to listen to stuff that no one else listens to. It’s ridiculious, but I can see why fans want to do that. It’s crazy, but here I am, listening to TONS of shitty crap music just to discover 1 or 2 peeps that are amazing. Honestly, so worth it.

P.S. I bookmark many of my fave peeps on my MySpace page. I ONLY use MySpace for music, so we can totes be friends, but I keep it Rob free. But feel free to check it out and see if there is anything you like!

5. Kick ass Thrift Store Finds

Way before i knew the hobo ways of Rob, TheShagDaddy and I have always been thrift store trollers. We have had way too much finding really kick ass stuff that we can’t believe peeps get rid of. Yeah, like my Kate Spade handbag I got for $8 or the 7 for All Mankind jeans that were $12. Yeah, I do all kinds of happy dancing when I make those discoveries.

So we all love Rob and squee like little fan girls when we see him, but what else gets you going? In this #RobDrought, we all need “other” hobbies, so share. Please.


My Unedited Convo with TheShagDaddy!

If you missed it, me and TheShagDaddy (actually more of Shag then me) were featured on t5m.com in an article on amberhubbyunicornwhat it is men love about Twilight. If you have not read it yet, then you should read it now before proceeding. We can wait.

Done? Cool. I personally thought this was awesome and give mad props to Amber at Eyes of Amber for setting this up. But what I promised that we would do in that blog is post the unedited version of our conversation. I know. You are all truly shocked that I had to edit that conversation right?

For your Sunday afternoon enjoyment, a conversation between me and my hubs on Twilight:

TheShagDaddy: what the hell do you want to know?

TheShagDaddy: who’s blog is this for again?

Amber: okay, we are supposed to talk about how I got you into twilight

Amber: this is for t5m, who EyesofAmber writes for.

Amber: So, i think we should start at the beginning, when I started reading the books and being annoying

TheShagDaddy: how you got me into twilight? i started reading it to mess with you

Amber: but you used to hate all things Twilight for a bit there

TheShagDaddy: didn’t hate it, just didn’t want to listen to all things related to twilight

Amber: till we watched the movie, right?

TheShagDaddy: yeah but if it didn’t have that dark feeling to it, i may not have watched it all. it started out with a tim burton vibe and that kept my interest

Amber: the blue color, right? you are the only one that liked that, I think!

TheShagDaddy: exactly, the blue did it. with new moon being orange i kind of look at like blue=cold=edward and orange=hot=jacob

TheShagDaddy: i also think i was the only one who like kstew too

Continue reading


The Books Rob Doesn’t Want You to See!

We often times see Rob carrying around these academic, super smart books that instantly sell out on Amazon as soon

Please don't let the paps see the book jacket is really hiding an Uncle John's Bathroom Book!

Please don't let the paps see the book jacket is really hiding an Uncle John's Bathroom Book!

as they are identified. (Psst… I do have a list of all those books right here.) But what I want to know is this, are those really the books Rob reads? Or does Rob secretly have other books stashed away that he never wants us to see. TheShagDaddy and I did some research and we think we find 5 books that are good candidates for Rob’s Super Secret Reading List!

How to be Invisible How to Be Invisible

The poor guy just wants to slip into the background. Maybe this book will be just the trick. Too bad it doesn’t come with that bad ass invisibility cloak from the Harry Potter movies. Rob, you should have totally snaked that when you left.

More Rob’s secret books, after the jump… Continue reading


Team Jacob vs. Team Edward – Which Team Will He Choose?

You know, New Moon was my favorite!

You know, New Moon was my favorite!

Okay, seriously, TheShagDaddy is about this close to having to get his own blog. While I wanted to post some hot Robbie-ness, he wanted to get all serious for a moment about New Moon and insisted it be tonight. Well, I’m still going to post at least one hot picture of Rob, and then you can jump into some more guy thoughts on Twilight.

No more waiting. The suspense is over. I’m going to continue my thoughts on the Twilight saga. Any moment now. Here we go. Seriously, this is going to be good. Don’t stop believin’…fade to black.

I know this is supposed to be about New Moon, but first let me just say, ‘What in the monkey fuck shit balls is Stephanie Meyer trying to do, kill me?’ I’m only 5 chapters into Breaking Dawn and I now understand the sexual frustration so many of you have mentioned. If you don’t know what I mean I will elaborate in one of the next couple of blogs that I do. But back to the business at hand…

More after the jump… Continue reading


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