Tag Archives: job

NSFW — Guest Post from Stephanie (P.S. It IS Safe for Work!)

I got this from Stephanie over the weekend. Since I called her out in Friday’s post, I figured it would be a good idea to let her have a response, and post it in a timely manner for her! So go on Stephanie, blog away!

So since Amber called me out during Friday Videos (which I LOVED btw, lmfao) I feel the need to address NSFW.  I’m not sure I understand what this means??  I mean, I know what it means and all, but I choose to disagree.  So let me see if I can test this out. Is this the definition for not safe for work. . .

Ouch, face diving into the monitor is not advisable, nose bleeding much??

Or this?

You love it when I do this don’t you bb!!

That’s right, you relax, I’ll do all the work.

Do you have any idea what I’m about to do to you. I don’t care if the driver watches.

No, don’t turn away, I want you to watch . . .

Is this a good start? Are these the types of pics and thoughts we speak of when we say not safe for work? I guess it depends on who you ask or more importantly, how your office is set up.

Now lets take my office for the sake of this conversation. I am very well hidden in the back and I can hear people (almost always anway, I’ve had a few close calls, lol) before they make it all the way to my desk, thank god!!!  So I say EVERYTHING is ok for work. It’s just how you do it that counts. There are some rules I try to stick to that I will share below.

  1. Don’t be greedy. You can’t expect to spend a lot of time. Get in and get out! Still getting you what you need and there’s less of a chance of getting caught.  Lots of short trips. That’s how I roll!!
  2. Know your surrounding area and sounds. You can usually tell who is supposed to be around you. The people right around me know what I’m doing and are ok with it because they know I share the Rob love (with pics and blogs only, WHEN Rob is mine in real life they know and are starting to accept the fact that I’m out. I WILL NOT SHARE REAL LIFE SEXY TIME WITH MY MAN!! Sorry ladies ;P).  Okay, got a little off track but what I’m saying is listen for different footsteps or doors. BE VERY AWARE. (Amber Note: This is true. My boss is a ninja, so ALT+TAB is my very best friend. Don’t know what ALT+TAB is? Try it out and you will see!)
  3. Get your work done. Now this takes some skill. You do have to be able to get back to work and finish the tasks at hand after your Rob perv time or people will get suspicious and you don’t want that. Suspicious people start really paying attention to your every move, which equals no sexy Rob pics at work, and nobody wants that!
  4. Back to reality. This kind of goes hand and hand with #3. This is also a tough one, especially on a day that good pics/videos surface. You have to be able to return to work after the drooling ends.  Now I’m not saying forget about it all together, because lets face it, that is close to impossible, especially when things like this came out . . .

This has consumed my every thought since the day it came up, I mean out.

I think this picture was the greatest test of my focus ever, and I came real close to failing this day. But I just couldn’t help myself. I stared, and drooled, and stared and drooled, over and over and over, all day long!!!  I think I fell into a coma, a pure heavenly blissful coma. Oh the visions, the daydreams, so vivid, I can still see them so clearly! Eventually, slowly I came through it and got on with things, but it has never fully left me. This one will always have a special place in my heart, tear, sigh…

Great, now I forgot what I was saying!! Oh well, back to work I guess, or pics, hmmm, what to do??!!  Uh oh, someone’s coming, gotta go!

Steph… you do realize you completely proved me right about my comment on Friday! LOL I <3 you for being a good sport and playing along! Now, my question to all of you is, how do you satisfy your Rob times at work? Getting online? Maybe you have pics hidden in your office (like me!)? Let’s hear how you keep the obsession going without the boss knowing!


My Plea to be Hired at a Tweenie Magazine!

Yeah, I could write about that all day, and act like a silly teenage girl everytime.

Yeah, I could write about that all day, and act like a silly teenage girl everytime.

I had a realization today, while winding down my last few days of my vacation. My job is really hindering my abilities to blog, write, view pictures and videos of, make pictures and videos of, and hang posters in my office of Rob Pattinson. I’m realizing this is truly a crime against humanity and should be fixed.

That made me think, what jobs are out there that would let me do all of the above and not shame my obsession with Rob, but encourage it! The answer is so simple… a tween magazine! I’m a journalist/PR person by day and a kick ass blogger by night, so it seems kind of obvious that they should hire me, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure I meet all of the qualifications:

  • When I hear words like soft, dumpster and moist, I giggle. A lot. More then any adult woman should.
  • I have several posters of Rob Pattinson that I have no where to hang. I’d love to hang them in my office, but my current office may find that weird. New tweenie magazine office will require them!
  • I use terms like “for serious” and “OMG”, and not just online. But in real life. Yes, so I got the lingo down.
  • I can think of silly things like Edward tattoos, nail decals and locker magnets that can be included FREE with your next issue. J-14, I’m looking at you…
  • Plus, I can seriously write a great article about why Rob is better than Taylor, or Efron, or the JoBros, or any of those other little kids that just don’t meet the “RPattz Standard.”

See, so I should be hired tomorrow, right? What’s that? You mean, I have to write articles on other little teeny bopper actors and try to talk about how dreamy they are. Um, no, can’t do it. And you are telling me I won’t have a personal editor to help me take down the dirtiness level of all my stories. I mean, the “Lookup and Replace” function on my Word will only work the first few times I replace words like “do me” with “kiss me.”

Never mind, maybe this isn’t the perfect job for me. If only this blog will start making me my millions. When, oh when, will that happen?!?


Let’s Get on Rob’s Staff! It’s OBVIOUS He NEEDS Us!

Hello. Are you here for your "interview"?

Hello. Are you here for your "interview"?

One of my blogging buddies is gonna shut down her blog (*grumbles* stupid real life *more grumbles*) and she had some classic posts that I could not let “fade to black.” So, today, I am using my blog to post these two posts from Robsession.ca. Oddly enough, they are both job applications to join Rob’s staff, cause let’s face it, we can take WAY better care of him then the current staff.

This first post was born out of the attack on Rob Pattinson by the group of skank hos. When we realized that Rob’s security team was clearly not doing it’s job to the best of it’s abilities, well, I know I had to step in…

Attention: Remember Me Security Team:

Please accept this Blog as our formal application for the positions of “Protectors of His Holy Hotness.”

After watching the pandemonium that occurred today, my friends Amber (from RobMyWorld.com), Lisa and I are offering our services as Robert Pattinson’s bodyguards. We are both willing to put in the time and effort involved in keeping Robert safe from those TwiHards that are deemed dangerous and a threat to Robert’s safety and personal well-being.

Please find our resumes below.

Amber’s Resume:

Objective: Seeking the position of protector of His Holy Hotness

Summary: Exceptionally kickass Bodyguard with no professional experience, but the will and drive to kick some tweenie girl ass if necessary.

Summary of Qualifications:

* Exceptional Knowledge of street fighting, including pulling hair, jabbing eyes out and kicking right in the nuts.

* Strong ability to spot Twihards that may pose potential danger, including those wearing Twilight tees, carrying Edward bags and wearing K-Stew-esque plaid shirts.

* Great negotiating and people skills when “handling” HHH, which will be quite often.

* Excellent ability to handle emergencies and slap a ho into next week.

* Great physical strength and stamina, beyond what is necessary for protecting HHH (ifyoukowwhati’msayinandithinkyoudo).

Education: Chuck Norris’ School of Ass Kicking, Graduate – Magnum Cum Fighter

Katharine’s Resume:

Objective: Seeking the position of protector of His Holy Hotness

Summary: While I have no previous professional experience as a Bodyguard, I have managed to keep a three year old safe and out of trouble.

Summary of Qualifications:

* Former FanGirl, which allows me to pre-determine and intercept undesirable subjects, as I know how the teenager stalker’s mind works. And it’s a scary, scary place.

* Excellent ability to use distraction as a tool to divert attention from Robert and his current… um… position. *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Knowwhatimean? Knowwhatimean?)

* Willing to put myself in harms way by tackling FanGirls and using my copy of Breaking Dawn as a weapon. That sucker is big. And hard. (oops… did I just say that out loud?)

* Evil Little Pixie. ‘Nuff said.

Education: Christina Aguilera School of Bitch Slapping, Graduate – Valedictorian

Lisa’s Resume

Objective: Keeping HHH safe from Twi-hos…and the occasional Twi-mom

Summary: I’m a high school teacher. They may not call that bodyguarding, but I’ve got mad skillz.

Summary of qualifications:

* I can stop a rampaging teenager with a LOOK. I deal with crazed fangirls every day, and have managed to make them put their Twilight books away for hours at a time.

* Experience with scratching, biting and kicking. And pulling hair. Don’t ask.

* Can flip my hair with deadly accuracy. (See education)

* Much like “Popeye”, Rob’s Cannes bodyguard, I have a gentle touch for Rob, and a strong arm for everyone else. And will bend over backwards to make sure that Rob is satisfied with my “services”. Literally.

* Oh, and I’m a ninja.

Education: Graduated summa cum laude from the Charlie’s Angels School of Hairdressing and Ass Kicking. Major in Ass Kicking, minor in Kick Ass Hair.

More job applications after the jump… Continue reading


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