Checking my Google alerts last night and I kept seeing the same headline over and over again… “Robert Pattinson Practicing for Breaking Dawn Honeymoon”. And I was like, oh, that’s kind of personal isn’t it. I was thinking it had finally happened. The sex tape.
Cause when I think Breaking Dawn honeymoon, I think to beaches with clothes scattered about and skinny dipping and ocean sex that I had to imagine in my head cause Steph went with the whole “fade to black” thing. I mean, whatevs. If she didn’t do that I would have never discovered fan fiction and let’s face it… I LOVE me some fan fiction!
But I digress… apparently he wasn’t practicing at all for what I was thinking about. Rob was just learning how to drive a speed boat.
With no pictures to prove it either. Boo! We’ll just imagine it was something like this… (P.S. Explicit for those of you who read at work!)
Then I thought, this is crazy. Rob needs lessons to drive a speed boat?! Maybe this is that country girl coming out of me but I drove a speed boat (with adult supervision) when I was like, 9. And I did pretty good. If you can drive a car, you can drive a boat.
Oh, wait.
And I read a little bit further and it said there was a second boat following the boat Rob drove with a certified diving team. I guess in case things went really wrong. And I kind of died laughing. Geez, if this is true, the whole thing just slays me. Gotta keep the golden boy safe, right? He’d have to be a hella bad driver to turn over a speed boat.
Of course, there is a good chance this whole thing is bogus. I mean, hello? Why do the real thing when you can do some pretty amazing stuff with a green screen? But Rob on a boat creates some nice images.
Like Rob wet. And I am DOWN with some wet Rob!
Do I see a hint of nipple?
You know what? I decided that if him falling off the boat is going to produce some more wet Rob, then so be it!
